Bad Patch

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this to protect my identity.

Lately it seems like I'm in a bad patch in my life. Like things aren't going anywhere and I just need to break free of everything. However I am in a long distance relationship with a gorgeous girl. The only problem is that it is very straining and I honest do not know if I can last. She'll be there for 3 years and, even though we see each other every few months, I just feel like it isn't enough. I'm a very touchy-feely kind of guy and need that in my relationship. We talk every day on the phone (I've spent hundreds in the past five months on credit) or the internet but it just doesn't feel the same sometimes. I want to reach over and kiss her or hold her hand or just rub her cheek but I can't. But on the otherhand I want it to work as I have never felt this way with someone before.

Also my job seems to be going a bit down the tube. I've been working there for 2 or 3 years and, while it was fun at the start, it seems to have changed and gotten stricter. The management there are total idiots who do not know how to run a business. Our *current* general manager is a person who does not understand that keeping a work-force relatively happy makes them more productive. They spy on us, eaves-drop on our conversations (we've recently discovered them doing this), never admit they made a problem (especially with last week roster even though I questioned them about it, they wouldn't admit it)

I know people will say just leave, but the problem is that there just quite simply no jobs going at the moment. And I don't want to just quit and leave myself stuck. Even though it's getting to a point where being in the place makes me feel sick and depressed.

Sorry for long post but shall add to it- my house too.

I don't get on well with my housemate. He's an alcoholic who regularly holds houseparties at weekends (I'm a non-drinker who constantly works weekends). We used to get on well but not over the past few months. So this leads me to spend most of my time in my room as everyone else I know is either gone home after college or working.

Ainekav

hi i dont know if i can give you any advice but i definitely know some of what your going through. i'm also in a long-distance relationship, albeit not as extreme as yours and i also have lived in a house where im forced to stay in my room a lot of the time, because of an unfriendly and too-quiet housemate that i didnt know, like or have anything in common with, which is hard, and definitely those two things made me feel quite depressed and lonely a lot of the time. the relationship bit is very familiar to me- it can wear you down and leave you longing for intimacy that yuo just dont get enough. can i ask is there hope of the relationship becoming non-long-distant in the future? ie. is she moving over here or anything? i just ask because i know that when you have something to look forward to in that situation its a lottttt easier. but it sounds like you dont.. maybe you should review the relationship and its practicality, as harsh as that sounds.. for your ow sake in the long run.

in terms of the house i would definitely say try and get out- it sounds like a nightmare tbh. for me my housemates sister moved in in place of her fortunately and we became quite good friends. but at least if you got that sorted you would maybe get some housemates that you can talk to and have more in common with. that would help an awful lot with your situation i think. because i have found that if there are friends, even acquaintances/housemates around you, you will not focus so much on missing the girlfriend, your mind will be taken off it at the most important times-the evenings/nights when u prob miss her most (ie when your sitting in your room doing nothing getting mroe and more down0.)

as for the job, i really dont know to be honest. your in a bit of a dilemma there, BUT soemthing WILL come up and maybe you should start hunting around on the sly obv, if you havent been doing so already.

so theres my opinion for ya, at least now ya know your not on your own, if nothing else. hope this helps

A

Overheal

okay despite what your managers seem to be doing is off; consider you may be looking at it even more bitterly than you normally would because of how much you want to be with your girlfriend.

I had a long distance relationship once where i wasnt going to be able to see her for months, if ever. When things started getting more serious I couldnt cope with not having her there and like a big eejit I found something closer to home which never worked out well at all...who turned into my housemate (look, dont ask >_> ) so i can understand somewhat, what youre going through.

That was my other mistake though. If you arent happy at home then you arent happy ay all, really. Strongly consider moving somewhere else.

I wouldnt give up the girl personally. Regarding your call costs, do you both have internet? I recommend buying some microphones (maybe some kinky webcams if it ails you..) and get on one of the Chat clients. Skype is free to use if you are just talking from PC to PC and pennies if youre calling from PC to phone (though I find the signal to phones is not so great). There are of course other voice and webcam application such as MSN Live (not sure if it does voice) and Gmail (not sure that it does video... mix and match!) Skype does both.

the glass woman

I have to say when i read your thread an obvious solution is to up sticks and move to where ever your girlfriend is for the time being. Only you know if this is actually feasible for you but if your job, living accommodation, and not to mention missing her is getting you down, then what have you got to lose?

anonymous_joe

Whatever you do, for the love of God don't give up on her! I was in a tentative long distance relationship, and we both had a choice, do we walk away, do we give up, or do we try and be with each other to the best of our ability. All I can say is that it was worth trying, without any doubts. Someone like you have is not someone to be thrown away because of a temporary absence.

Do your best to spend time with each other, things like Skype and webcams would be a God send. Also try and find things you can do together from a distance, whether it's play a game, or stuff like watching the same films/shows. It'll help.

Delfina

I also did the long distance thing and its tough, but it does get easier with time. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about this? Is it an option for you to move to where she is?
Eitherway I think you should think about moving out of the house you share..If you cant relax in your home it starts to affect other areas in your life & stresses you out.
Try to make some small changes first & you will begin to feel better about things, & more confident about the bigger stuff.
Best of luck