I know this sounds silly, but...

CamillaRhodes

(Sorry, this is perhaps more of a 'Personal Issue', but I just think the animal-lovers in this forum will get me more...)

I rescued a little puppy in the street last week. He was badly dehydrated and in some sort of shock (not sure what happened to him, but...) Over the last week, I've nursed him back to health, had him in and out of the vets, and as of today he's a healthy (still rather skinny) happy little puppy. Taking care of him like that made me completely fall in love with him.

However, I knew from the beginning I couldn't keep him. I don't live in Ireland, though I'd like to move back some time soon; I live in a third floor apartment; I travel a lot with work. So I felt I simply had to find a home for him. Today, I brought him up to a lovely lady who offered to take him; she lives in the countryside, has another young dog and two cats and she will dote on him. I know he'll have a wonderful life with her.

But now, this evening, I am heart-broken. Leaving him there today, tears were streaming down my cheeks. But now this evening I'm close to hysterical. This little dog was already so loving towards me, was so happy to see me when I'd come home from work, brought such happiness into my life over the last week. I always had pets as a kid, and now (as a 28 year old) I would badly love to have the fullness in my life which this little puppy would bring.

So I find myself this evening desperately trying to figure out ways that I could keep him. I could move house, get a ground-floor place with a yard. When I travel for work, he could stay with this nice lady who offered to take him in. If I don't move back to Ireland for 6 months, he'll qualify for the PETS passport scheme thing. Etc etc etc.

But am I being selfish here? Is it unfair to want to give the dog an urban life, with an owner who is out at work all day (though can come home for lunch) and traveling a lot? I'm so torn here, so heart-broken... maybe I just need somebody to tell me to cop myself on. (Or maybe I'm hoping somebody would tell me "Do it! Giving a dog a loving home is never a bad thing!") And I've got so much love to give him.

Thanks for any advice, in either direction. And sorry for the hysteria.

kraggy

You have to look at the big picture here and realise that while the little fella has brought some light into your life these last few days, you must look far into the future and realise that there will be other times when you may not be in the position to give him full time care, love and attention.

I admire your wish to keep him and your suggestion of moving for his (and your) benefit but will you be so keen when an important or new work opporunity happens in the future that would involve a threat to said attention and time you would be able to give him in the immediate future.

These are questions you have to ask yourself, but as long as you are honest with yourself in answering those questions, then you should be able to make up your mind.

And if in answering those questions to yourself there is the smallest doubt that your time available to him will be less than what he deserves, then you have to admit that he may well be better off with the lady who has already agreed to take him on.

A pet is a commitment. If you can fulfil that commitment unequivocally, then go for it. Otherwise, you will be loving and caring for him more if you let him go. But him being on his own all day while you are at work would not be as good a life than if he were to live with the old lady I gather from what you have said about her.

Hope this helps.

carwash_2006

I agree with kraggy here. You will probably be doing the best for this little guy by letting him go to the home you found for him.

You will never forget him and he will always hold a special place in your heart. But the best thing to do now that you have realised how much you want the love of a pet in your life is to work hard to get yourself into a position where you can really offer a fantastic home to the one that will come along that will make it all worthwhile.

You would not be doing yourself or the pup any favours by taking him back when it would be uncertain as to whether you could get things right this time. Is there any way that you could keep in touch with the new owner? If you can keep some sort of contact it may help you to cope with having to let this one go.

bobbysands81

You made the right choice, you put the welfare of the dog above your feelings.

KrazyLikeafox

Ya I think youve done the right thing by letting him go. I know its very eaasy to get attached to an animal and I know its easier said than done, but time does make it easier to move on...

Plus you can maybe always get to see the pet in future if the owners dont mind you calling..

Intothesea

Not to worry Camilla, you could
explain to the new owner that
you're very attached to him and
that you'd like to be able to check
in on him once in a while. You can
always move to adopt when you're
good and ready, the pounds are
full of forsaken pups a lot like him.
Doing your best can sometimes
feel like the worst. HTH

kerrysgold

If you were able to get a doggy companion for him and make sure he was taken out every 4 hours (if you could get home for lunch that'd be fine I think) and also take him for a short walk in the morning and a long walk in the evening and maybe take him somewhere special on the weekends then I think you would have no problem keeping him.

CamillaRhodes

Hi all. Thanks for your words of support. I read most of your messages (apart from kerrysgold's) this morning - didn't have time to reply at that point - and I felt you were all right, that I've given my puppy a better life living with the lady in the countryside, and that the truth is I'm not yet at a good solid place in my life where I could take care of him adequately, forever. But then, this afternoon, I got a phone call from the lady, telling me that the puppy's been really upset since yesterday (well, those are my words rather than hers) he's been biting her when she tried to pet him, and vomited up all his food. My emotional (rather than rational) response is that he misses me too much, and I miss him so much, and maybe we're like human-doggy soul-mates?!?! Aaaarrrggghhh this is so hard. I suppose he'll get over it, as will I. The truth is, I'm also projecting a lot of my personal stuff onto the puppy (I split up with my partner late last year). Anyway, I've got to try to keep a level-head on this.

The new owner has made it clear I'm welcome any time to come and visit him. I want to go up tomorrow, but maybe is this unfair on the puppy? Should I leave him with the lady to get used to her?

Sorry for all the angst, this certainly is more like a 'Personal Issues' post, who'd a thunk it! Thanks for the great advice and support.

michelleans

It's hard to let a pet go when you become so attached.

The only possible problem I'd see would be your work hours. If they weren't too long and you could come home at lunch as you suggested, then that would eliminate that problem in my mind.

I'd just like to address the problem that some people have with city dogs and dogs that live in apartments. It sometimes seems to be a problem for people when they hear f a dog living in an apartment.

My currently (2 years old) German Shepherd grew up with us in an apartment with no garden. Now, I love my dog very much and am a responsible dog owner so whether I had been living in the countryside or the city would have been irrelevant to the raising of this dog but I think there are a lot of pro's for living with a dog in the city.

City dogs tend to get exercised more, as they have to be taken out for walks to go to the toilet etc.. whereas in the country if the owner is tired they can simply let the dog out back. I now live in the country but never allow my dog outside without me, not that I'd be able to get him to go without me anyway Now I know responsible owners will walk their dog no matter what, but people are lazy and there are many irresponsible owners out there.

On walks in the city the pup gets to meet lots and lots of people, and other dogs helping in the socialisation aspect, plus the amount of training classes is usually much wider so that is a huge bonus too. Because the dog is under the owners supervision when outside each time, the dog will find it very difficult to get into trouble or hurt itself.

When I was living in the city, I went on trips at the weekends to the countryside, to the beach, to the mountains, my dog enjoyed a rich life and is so sociable. He is friendly and happy to meet all dogs and people and is very polite and well trained as it was paramount that he stopped when told (while crossing the street for example).

I grew up in the countryside and none of my family's dogs were sociable/friendly/loyal to this extent. I was only a kid back then but looking back they got less attention, less socialisation, less walks etc than my city brought up dog. So, really it's about the owners, but if the owner is responsible and willing to put in the work, the city can be an even better place for a dog to grow up!

Of course you must take your situation into account too, the fact that you travel a lot might be upsetting for the puppy.

ncmc

Camilla, I feel for you, I really do. It is a terrible thing to have to give up a pet, even one you only had for a few days. I know it has been a week since your OP, so I'm hoping you are feeling a little better about it now. I think you know in your heart of hearts that you did the right thing for that pup, there was way too many if's and but's in your post about keeping the dog, I think you know that it is not the right thing for you at the moment. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it seem's to me that you are a little lonely after splitting with your partner and you probably projected a lot of love on to that little pup in the time that you had it. Dog's do make great company and it is nice to know that no matter how hard things are, you will always have someone who loves you to come home to! But if it is not right, it's not right and I think in the long term you would have felt so much guilt whenever you had to leave him to travel on work.

You should be really proud of yourself, you did an amazing thing. You rescued that pup from a certain death, nursed him back to health and then found him a fabulous loving home. If only there were more people like you! That dog will have a very happy life and you can feel proud that you are the one that gave it that life. In time, when you are more settled, you will get a dog and you will love it even more than the one you gave away. Try and focus on that future now, rather than dwelling on the past. I hope everything works out for you.