How to surprise my wife for her birthday?

jarvis

Hi

My wife is 30 soon and for her Birthday I have booked a week in Italy. We'll be going to Rome for 3 nights and then taking a rented car and driving to Sorrento for 4 nights. From there we'll drive about, possibly to Naples, Capri and the Alfami coast on the 3rd day (Or someting similar).

What I'm hoping to get here is good ways of telling her. Something that's a little exciting or a suspense builder.

Hope Ye can help.

Jarvis:D

Cathmandooo

Put up a big banner on the M50.

Hope she's not on boards sounds like a lovely trip, sorrento and capri are beautiful.

Latchy

phone rte or any other local radio and ask sombody on a live show to announce it .

Make sure she's listening to the wireless btw

c - 13

Let her catch you in bed with her best friend and have tattooed across your bobbing arse "Happy Birthday Honey, Were going to ITALY !". I can guarantee she'll be surprised ! :pac:

6th

Interpretive dance?

Blackhorse Slim

The obvious would be to buy her an Italian phrasebook, wrap it up in expensive paper and give it to her as a birthday present.;)

DarkJager

Stage a fake kidnapping...when the blindfold comes off, voila!! She's in Italy

6th

Ok genuine reply:

Take her out for a meal (Italian) and present her with a phrase book as suggested above.

Cathmandooo

Blackhorse Slim wrote: »

The obvious would be to buy her an Italian phrasebook, wrap it up in expensive paper and give it to her as a birthday present.;)

Aw that's far too nice

You could make an italian night out of it. Get a checkered table cloth, make her italian food, have a little italian flag, make yourself look italian (i dunno how ) and put on italian music, oh and italian wine of course!

I've had way too much coffee

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

this any use?



birthday tips

Latchy

Some really good suggestions here OP ,specially the tatoo on the ass in bed , i would never think of that one

biko

Do you want to tell her?
Perhaps just tell her to pack her bags for a week and bring a passport?

Or give her a fake key in a box and and note "This key fits our hotel room in Rome" (even if it actually don't)

jarvis

Roundtower2 wrote: »

this any use?



birthday tips

No...None what-so -ever. But thanks anyway.:D

Homer

In classic mafia style... write it in her mothers blood on the walls of the bedroom.. "Pack your bags.... we're off to italy!"

Latchy

Or in true mafia style just leave a horses head on the pillow next to her ,the fright alone will make her want to jump onto a plane to anywere

jarvis

c - 13 wrote: »

Let her catch you in bed with her best friend and have tattooed across your bobbing arse "Happy Birthday Honey, Were going to ITALY !". I can guarantee she'll be surprised ! :pac:

Hmmm.... This would be funny but her best friend is a troll, I don't think I could stomach it. Even if it is her 30th Birthday I don' think I could do that for her.

and anyway, How big do ou think my Ass is??? I'd never fit that hole phrase on it.!!!

Sherifu

jarvis wrote: »

I'd never fit that hole phrase on it.!!!

Use the cheeks silly.

Kur4mA

buttsecks.

Steve_o

Get the Dolmio puppets to say it... 'Heya, we goin to roma... its fora youra holidaysa'....





Apologies to Italy and all Italians

c - 13

jarvis wrote: »

Hmmm.... This would be funny but her best friend is a troll, I don't think I could stomach it. Even if it is her 30th Birthday I don' think I could do that for her.

and anyway, How big do ou think my Ass is??? I'd never fit that hole phrase on it.!!!

Well the phrase is 41 Chars long including spaces, the O in honey is the middle char so if you just use your ring piece as that letter you'll save a little more space ?

MOH

biko wrote: »

Do you want to tell her?
Perhaps just tell her to pack her bags for a week and bring a passport?

Or tell her to pack her bags and get out.
Then when she has them packed you can say "Only joking, we're going to Italy". The surprise will then be appreciated all the more.

whiskeyman

Does she like pepperoni?

As already suggested, bring her to an Italian, and get the chef to arrange the pepperoni slices (could be done with sweetcorn either) to spell 'ROME' on the pizza... and then say 'here's your birthday present' just as the pizza arrives!

Sorry ladies, but I'm already taken
:pac:

ROCKMAN

Pack her and your bags in private. . The day of the flight(which I presume would be a few days before her birthday ) so she should not suspect anything. Get a mate to bring the bags to airport ahead of you and leave at check in gate. if possible .Tell her you have to pick someone up at the Airport work related, a favour for a mate etc. When you get there go to the bar to wait for person to arrive , While there (you or mate ) gets check in desk over the PA to ask her to come to the check-in desk.. There they inform her they have found her missing bags , in the (her ) confusing that will follow her seen her bags, produce the tickets....

Ps hope you have a good trip.

zAbbo

Take her to the airport to 'collect someone' then surprise her, tell her she can buy clothes in Rome

jester77

Leave it till the day and ask her does she fancy some Italian takeaway... and then you take her away!!

Have fun!

Rob_l

ROCKMAN wrote: »

Pack her and your bags in private. . The day of the flight(which I presume would be a few days before her birthday ) so she should not suspect anything. Get a mate to bring the bags to airport ahead of you and leave at check in gate. if possible .Tell her you have to pick someone up at the Airport work related, a favour for a mate etc. When you get there go to the bar to wait for person to arrive , While there (you or mate ) gets check in desk over the PA to ask her to come to the check-in desk.. There they inform her they have found her missing bags , in the (her ) confusing that will follow her seen her bags, produce the tickets....

Ps hope you have a good trip.

This idea while seeming nice at the outset will become a nightmare when half an hour into the trip this mans wife starts giving out because he didn't pack the right stuff
"what did you bring that for I never wear that"

ROCKMAN

Rob_l wrote: »

This idea while seeming nice at the outset will become a nightmare when half an hour into the trip this mans wife starts giving out because he didn't pack the right stuff
"what did you bring that for I never wear that"

More naked time RESULT

Splinter

MOH wrote: »

Or tell her to pack her bags and get out.
Then when she has them packed you can say "Only joking, we're going to Italy". The surprise will then be appreciated all the more.

brilliant!

Board-in-work

Start flirting with her using a false email account....pretend your'e some millionaire Italian stallion - offer to bring her over to Italy......

JangoFett

Have her name tattoo'd on your knob

And then shave the words "We're goin to Italy" into your back and arse

Annatar

Naples is a dirty hole!!! Rubbish everywhere!

Capri is a great tourist trap. Not worth it.


Pompei is cool though....



Tell her you are taking her out to an italian restaurant for her Bday dinner. Have everything packed and in the car.... passports too.

Pick her up and off to the airport

hunter164

Spread roses all over your bed and lie there naked waiting for her.

FlutterinBantam

Bone her up the shítter with a tattoo of "Azzurri" on yer knob.

Guaranteed to get her going.

(show it to her afterwards)

jarvis

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Bone her up the shítter with a tattoo of "Azzurri" on yer knob.

Guaranteed to get her going.

(show it to her afterwards)

Not sure if I'm losing my sense of humour or if that's just very disrespectful.............
Made up my mind...
your an ar53h0le.:eek:

Tigger

he's just shy

dade

you said you wouldn't do her mate, what about her sister or her Ma

The Artist

ask a farmer to borrow his tractor and trailer and make a float with water.
hire a italian fella with a gondolier.
great effects!

allabouteve

jarvis wrote: »

Hi

My wife is 30 soon and for her Birthday I have booked a week in Italy. We'll be going to Rome for 3 nights and then taking a rented car and driving to Sorrento for 4 nights. From there we'll drive about, possibly to Naples, Capri and the Alfami coast on the 3rd day......

Jarvis:D

Thats so sweet, it's true, all the good ones are taken...

elmolesto

Divorce her:D

CathyMoran

Not as sweet, but it is what my husband did - he rang me up in work and told me to look up a website which had details of the holiday that he had planned for us. I was totally chuffed and had a wonderful holiday.

Alicat

The idea of the surprise is lovely...but I admit I wouldn't be entirely impressed with havin someone else pack my suitcase and as the other posters said, probably all the wrong stuff I'd want on my holiday!

I know it's terribly ungrateful, considering all the effort done to arrange such a surprise, but I'm not a big fan of surprises which leave me totally unprepared. If I'm going somewhere glamourous and romantic, I want to look the part too!

I dunno how I still have a boyfriend!

But maybe the OP's wife isnt as psycho as I am and she wont mind at all!

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

suprise sex

gandhi123

anal sex??? thats always a suprise!!


damn it.. just seen the post above.. shud of read all the posts first

flanum

up the bum ftw, especially if she thinks you are going to shaft her doggy style!!

sickmyduck

drop her littlle hints and clues and post its!!!
post its are well a must have make lil tresure hunt... but a cute one like dont have her digging up the back garden for two hours .... but anyways yehhh
just make sure her passport and everything is in date and that she can get those days off

ircoha

jarvis wrote: »

Hi

My wife is 30 soon and for her Birthday I have booked a week in Italy. We'll be going to Rome for 3 nights and then taking a rented car and driving to Sorrento for 4 nights. From there we'll drive about, possibly to Naples, Capri and the Alfami coast on the 3rd day (Or someting similar).

What I'm hoping to get here is good ways of telling her. Something that's a little exciting or a suspense builder.

Hope Ye can help.

Jarvis:D

Get a new sim card and sign up on the internet with it.
Then send a text message to both of you saying that your names have been entered into a draw for a holiday for 2 etc and that more details will follow.
else just send the text to her saying that she has been entered into a draw and she must answer the following questions about you... u get the idea

Having said all that most women prefer the bragging before the gig rather than a real surprise, not surprising really given that an unexpected bun in the oven is the ultimate surprise:)

gandhi123

ok here goes:
tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying (again) and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."


she'll love it..:D

FunkZ

Cheat on her, video tape it and show her the video just as ya finish having birthday sex. SURPRISE!

Steve

Can't believe this hasn't been suggested yet...(shame on you AH)...
so here goes:

Set the scene, nice meal, candles, red jocks over the lamp, chocolates, flowers etc.

/cut to bed scene, post foreplay.

Mount her gently from behind - as the vulgans call it, 'doggie style', while at the same time, gently running your fingers through her hair.
When the moment is right, lovingly but firmly increase your grip on a clump of hair on the back of her head. When you have a good grip then slap her on the arse and at the top of your voice, moan out her best friends / your recent ex's name.
If you can hang on to the bucking bronco for long enough, it'll be the best and last sex you will ever have with her... and there'll be no doubt that a surprise was duly delivered.

enjoy the ride.



*this may be a joke - deal with it