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Can you correct my essay ?

  • 02-06-2008 8:05am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13


    Hi every one,
    I would appreicate if you correct my essay or give me any comment about content,structure,vocabulary...etc.
    Here it is:

    Some people believe that the earth is being greatly harmed by human activity, whereas others argue that human activity is actually making the earth a better place for us all. What is your opinion?

    Since 1900, the earth is being damaged dramatically more than ever before in the history of humanity. This damage due to many reasons depending on the scientist and from which point of view he regards the change on earth. This easy will prove why I agree with the idea that earth is being harmed by human activity. Moreover, the essay will show the reasons that make me absolutely disagree with saying that” human activity is making earth better place for all us”.

    The industrial revolution was a period in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. It started when the first steam engine has been created in Britain. All scientists agreed that human activity is influenced the earth. However, there is a debate about how big this influence made by human is risky for us as individual and society and for the whole living being on this planet.

    Those scientists who believe that we are destroying our planet say that we can see the climate change and Greenhouse effect clearly. On the other hand, there are other scientists think that the climate due to natural reasons such as volcanoes. Those scientists say that there was climate change in the eighteenth century in Europe and it came back to normal after so we should not worry. A lot of business leaders use that evidence to justify their poisonous gazes released in our atmosphere.

    In my opinion, men are producing so much gas that our atmospheres can not support. In other words, we all ready destroyed a lot of botany and aquatic life that probably have not been discovered. On 12 Sep 2006 the Science Daily published a report saying that “the warming of the tropical Atlantic and Pacific oceans over the last century is directly linked to human activities.”(1)


    080423181652-large.jpgScience Daily (2008)





    ___________________________________________________________
    (1)Science Daily (2006)
    It is very clear that Europe, USA and Japan evolved the humanity by the industrial revolution. I think that those three populations have made a huge development in producing goods more than any other population. On the other hands, they destroyed our planet more than any population!

    When an African starves from huger and sadly dies, he wills neither harm the atmosphere nor help it. In contrast that human being who is European, American or Japanese did benefit from selling his goods to others so he has to pay the right price for the atmosphere. I think that those three populations in particular and others came latter are guilty and have to be judged as criminals. When I say criminals I mean the parliaments that gave the permission for those factories to harm our planet are criminals.

    The life of the first world is becoming better. In contrast the life of the third world is becoming worse. This did not happen randomly but was due to many reasons. What I see is that the first world is harming itself as well as the others. For instance, In 14 Aug 2003 the CNN published a report about France saying that:” 3,000 people have died of heat-related causes in the past two weeks.” This was due to climate change that France never had before. The temperature was 40 degrees Celsius. (2)

    The majority of the 3000 people who had died in France are not alone because there was 32000 others in Europe were also sadly died. A lot if not the majority of those 35000 Europeans did participating in killing themselves. In other words, those people did participate in industrial activity either directly or indirectly.
    _____________________________________________________________________
    (2) CNN (2003)











    References:

    CNN (2003), France tackles heat emergency. CNN,14 Aug 2003. from: http://edition.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/08/14/paris.heatwave/

    Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (2006, September 12). Human Activities Found To Affect Ocean Temperatures In Hurricane Formation Regions. ScienceDaily. Retrieved June 2, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2006/09/060912104432.htm

    National Oceanic And Atmospheric Adminstration (2008, April 24). Greenhouse Gases, Carbon Dioxide And Methane, Rise Sharply In 2007. ScienceDaily. Retrieved June 2, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2008/04/080423181652.htm


Comments

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 9,586 Mod ✭✭✭✭BossArky


    geniusthinker banned & Xavi6's post deleted. This is not a homework forum.


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