Bisexual boy.

LegacyUser

Hi.I am 20 years of age from the wesht.

Since,I started going to college in Dublin,I have been with both men and women.My last girlfriend when I told her that I had slept with guys told me that I was sick and dumped.I hadn't cheated on her or anything.Do girls consider a bisexual man to be a pervert?

Also,the few friends that I have told that I am bi say that it is impossible to be bi.Sometimes I want some chocolate ice cream and other times I want vanilla.But they don't seem to understand.

Nevyn

Yes it possible to be bisexual and and really they need to learn this, but in thier own time.
I don't considered it sick or p reverted, I'd rather be with someone who knew themselves enough to know their own sexuality and to be comfortable with themselves and self assured enough to accept it and not to hide it.

Yes you will run into bi prejudice in places unfortunately from both the 'straight' and 'gay' community. But be who you are, keep your honesty and your integrity both with yourself , your partners and friends.
Those who have trouble or problems accepting you, you have to leave it with them as it is their problem.

LegacyUser

Also,is it weird that I am only sexually attracted to guys?Like,I never could see my self gong out with a guy.

seahorse

Well, I have gay and bi friends; my son’s godmother, a long-time friend of mine, is a lesbian who's been involved in a relationship with a woman spanning nearly twenty years. I have no problem with gay or bi people as far as friends, acquaintances and relations are concerned, but I wouldn’t be interested in having a relationship with a bisexual man. Some women simply find the idea a sexual turn off, and I'm one of them. No doubt the PC brigade would have something to say about it, but my sexual preference is for heterosexual males and I have no apologies to make for that. It's not a feeling that's exclusive to heterosexuals I have found; one gay girl I met told me she wouldnt be interested in having a relationship with a bisexual woman and maintained that she had several gay friends who had similar feelings on the matter.

As far as a partner is concerned OP, I think you’ll just have to keep looking till you find a woman/man who is comfortable with your sexuality. I wouldn’t worry too much about the relationship that’s just ended. That girl obviously wasn’t the girl for you. It’d never have worked. Better luck next time.

LegacyUser

It saddens me that potential girlfriedn/boyfriends would be weary of me just because I am bi.

Nevyn

There are people who are Bi who despite being sexually attracted to both genders can not or choose not to forum romantic relationships with one of those genders.

This can be for a whole heap of reasons and you will have to figure out what yours are and where they stem from for yourself.

Yes it is sad but then again people discrimante due to a large range of factors not just that one when it comes to who they will kiss/shag/date/ be in a relationship with.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

First of all, you were treated very badly by the girl - you are, however, better off without her. You've been honest, what more can you do?

Of course its possibly to be bisexual - I didn't think people anywhere were backward enough to deny this, regardless of whether they view it to be perverted or not.

What you experienced was fear. Of the unknown. And possibly a girlfriend that feared that, because you were bi, you were twice as likely to go off with someone else. Just a theory...

Advice? Live life and enjoy. Find someone you love and who loves you, regarless of gender and enjoy yourself. You're young.

LadyE

Bisexual guy wrote: »

Also,is it weird that I am only sexually attracted to guys?Like,I never could see my self gong out with a guy.

no this isn't weird- most bi guys are like this from what i gather

Overheal

Posters here will be more knowledgable in helping you out.

better off without the girl if her starting line is you're sick. You need someone more on your wavelength anyway, and they are out there.

AckwelFoley

Be proud of who you are and ignore those that cannot accept this.

There are plenty of both men and women that find it perfectly normal and have no problem.

Im a straight male touching on a tad homophobic, but over the years ive learned to mature, and become more accepting of sexual diversity and differences.

The only reason id have difficulty at a girlfriend being bi is that there is twice the competition

spinandscribble

ok as a girl i can say i wouldn't mind if my bf was bi- at least i don't think so, i've never had a bi one before so i can't be sure but to the best of my insight into myself i wouldn't. i think in the future you should fess up to being bi in the early stages. no point getting your heart broken for a girl who is homophobic or has jealousy issues.

Wurly

It would not bother me. Personally I would like to marry a man that has lived a bit and experimented with both sexes.

That girl is a dick. Dont give her a second's thought.

You will always come across small minded people, dont let them get to you.

Focus your energies on people who treat you with respect.

Be happy and be proud of who you are. You cant be anyone else. Enjoy it.x

Talliesin

Bisexual guy wrote: »

Hi.I am 20 years of age from the wesht.

Since,I started going to college in Dublin,I have been with both men and women.My last girlfriend when I told her that I had slept with guys told me that I was sick and dumped.I hadn't cheated on her or anything.Do girls consider a bisexual man to be a pervert?

Biphobia is very common, and bisexuals will normally be included in the bigotry of homophobes.

As common as it is though, it's far from universal. Plenty of both gay men and straight women aren't twisted little bigoted cross-burning Nazi scumbags. Don't let an encounter with one get you down too much.

Only one of the people I was in a relationship with also identified as bisexual. The rest were either straight women or gay men, and they've all known I was bisexual from the get-go.

Bisexual guy wrote: »

Also,the few friends that I have told that I am bi say that it is impossible to be bi.

Tell them that's it's impossible to think that, and that they don't really think that and must be lying. When they then point out that you can't possibly know what they think, then say "duh" and see if they make the connection.

Bisexual guy wrote: »

Also,is it weird that I am only sexually attracted to guys?Like,I never could see my self gong out with a guy.

We live in a society that still largely portrays only heterosexual romance, especially within the more mainstream parts of the media. You probably also couldn't imagine yourself in an arranged marriage (normal in many other societies, not normal in ours) and so on.

Since you're very young, you may find that you change in this regard, and you may not. I wouldn't worry about it, but I do think it's important to stay honest with yourself in this regard (e.g. if you're still telling yourself this while you've also fallen in love with some guy that you got together with intending that you would be lovers and nothing more, then it could be a problem).

marie_85

OP, not every girl is like that. Personally, a bi guy is my idea of an ideal partner. But I'm a bi girl, so I'm slightly biased...

Biphobia still exists unfortunately. People often say stupid things without really thinking - they make jokes about 'making up your mind', bisexuals being sluts, or bisexuals just kidding themselves. A number of my friends who have made jokes like that subsequently found out I was bi and were incredibly supportive. Whatever generalisations they had in their minds didn't change how they saw me.

The hardest thing for me though is dealing with straight men who think I'm their ultimate fantasy come true. A few have wanted me to have threesomes with them and their girlfriends, and don't seem to understand that's not who I am. I'm not any more particulary sexually adventorous than the next person - in fact, it's almost the opposite.

They're worst case scenarios really. The majority of my friends have taken it in their stride. Having said that, I've made an effort over the past couple of years to surround myself with open-minded people. The type of people who would judge me based on my sexuality are not those I want to be friends with.

Aurora Borealis

Keep the faith OP. Plenty of girls would not be put off by this at all and if they are, would they really be the type you'd want to be with anyway??

LegacyUser

I was in a similar situation myself... being that I was the girlfriend.
The only difference is that since breaking up he now says that he is completley gay

I think the way she reacted was wrong (saying you were sick)

Can I ask where you honest with her from the very beginning of your relationship?

I started seeing a guy in 2002 we were both 20... really nice guy who hadnt had any previous relationships before.
I was seeing him for almost 6mths. We had no... er.. relations... IYKWIM ... because of nervousness on his part (virgin) but did other things or should I say I did other things.. long story..wont discuss here

He had some emotional problems that would crop up from time to time which confused me alot so I had some doubts about his sexuality... but didnt bring it up.

So 1 mth before my final exams he tells me is bi ... I didnt react in anyway... I thought I was fine with it until I delved deeper into it and he became more open with me

He told me that he was more attacted to men but could only see himself emotionally involved with women. This hurt me alot as I my standing wasnt clear.... plus he also admitted that even while he was seeing me he was also visiting sites on a regular basis ( i would have a problem with any guy Im seeing telling me this btw)

After he told me that he was bi it was like the floodgates opened and he began telling me of a number of problems he was having ... now these were to the extent that I firmly believe he needed professional help. I wont go into the details here (they had nothing to do with his sexuality)

I found all of this very hard to deal with so once our exams were finished I ended the relationship.

He took it very hard but I made it very clear to him that it was not because of his sexuality..... you should never feel guilty about who you are as a person and should never have to justify it to anyone.

Within 1 year I found out from friends that he now considers himself to be completely gay.

I have a number of friends now (im now 26 so 5 years later) who are bi... gay ...so I understand everything better now.

But I think the moral of the story here is also HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Your partner has a right from the beginning to know your oreintation and what that entails. So they have a time to come to terms with it and if they are ok with it.

Its easy to say you are fine with it until you are faced with the situation. i think if I was in that situation again it wouldnt phase me... providing i was told from the beginning

Its not fair to wait until your in the middle of a relationship and expect the person to be 100% ok with it. Everyone reacts in differnet ways.

HER REACTION WAS WRONG....but she should have been told from the very beginning

LegacyUser

marie_85 wrote: »

OP, not every girl is like that. Personally, a bi guy is my idea of an ideal partner. But I'm a bi girl, so I'm slightly biased...

Biphobia still exists unfortunately. People often say stupid things without really thinking - they make jokes about 'making up your mind', bisexuals being sluts, or bisexuals just kidding themselves. A number of my friends who have made jokes like that subsequently found out I was bi and were incredibly supportive. Whatever generalisations they had in their minds didn't change how they saw me.

The hardest thing for me though is dealing with straight men who think I'm their ultimate fantasy come true. A few have wanted me to have threesomes with them and their girlfriends, and don't seem to understand that's not who I am. I'm not any more particulary sexually adventorous than the next person - in fact, it's almost the opposite.

They're worst case scenarios really. The majority of my friends have taken it in their stride. Having said that, I've made an effort over the past couple of years to surround myself with open-minded people. The type of people who would judge me based on my sexuality are not those I want to be friends with.

I'd probably be too hot for ya to handle.;)

Only kidding.I would hae a uite a high sex drive.Maybe that could contribute to my bi-ness.