Funny motoring stories

MSporty

Anyone got any interesting or funny motoring stories? We need to liven this place up!

MSporty

I was driving down the M50 one day, not too much traffic at the time. Caught up on an old style Beetle, was overtaking the car but having a good look at the same time. All of a sudden the sparks start flying from the back left end of the car and the wheel flys off into the trees and embankment after the finglas exit. The chap in the car nearly s**t himself though managed to pull over safely into the hard shoulder. I did have a chuckle to myself afterwards. Thats bad I know!!

Little-Devil

MSporty wrote: »

Anyone got any interesting or funny motoring stories? We need to liven this place up!

I always chuckle when i see a women try to parallel park :rolleyes: Like today i was outside a shop and this lady pulls up in a 07 golf and tries to parallel park between two cars. As she reversed she backed into a honda civic leaving a big enough mark on the car. She jumped out of the car with her kid and into the shop and came back out and was sitting in her car eating ice-cream. The owner of the honda car came out and drove off.

Before anyone says anything, it was not my place to say anything. I believe in Karma.

brayblue24

MSporty wrote: »

I was driving down the M50 one day, not too much traffic at the time. Caught up on an old style Beetle, was overtaking the car but having a good look at the same time. All of a sudden the sparks start flying from the back left end of the car and the wheel flys off into the trees and embankment after the finglas exit. The chap in the car nearly s**t himself though managed to pull over safely into the hard shoulder. I did have a chuckle to myself afterwards. Thats bad I know!!

To quote Homer Simpson "It's funny 'cos I don't know him".

MSporty

Little-Devil wrote: »

I always chuckle when i see a women try to parallel park :rolleyes: Like today i was outside a shop and this lady pulls up in a 07 golf and tries to parallel park between two cars. As she reversed she backed into a honda civic leaving a big enough mark on the car. She jumped out of the car with her kid and into the shop and came back out and was sitting in her car eating ice-cream. The owner of the honda car came out and drove off.

Before anyone says anything, it was not my place to say anything. I believe in Karma.

I always check my car when parked at the side of the street, there are alot of dodgy parallel parkers out there. They either bump your bumper or glance in it on the way in. Another incident i saw was on Tuesday last, i was behind a new honda civic on a back road , the car kept braking for nothing and was driving too close to the verge. There were a couple of big traffic cones at the side of the road, the civic drove too close and the passenger side mirror strikes a cone and smashes in bits. The car stops and I overtake it, at the same time im thinking, what a f**king muppet!!

Little-Devil

MSporty wrote: »

I always check my car when parked at the side of the street, there are alot of dodgy parallel parkers out there. They either bump your bumper or glance in it on the way in. Another incident i saw was on Tuesday last, i was behind a new honda civic on a back road , the car kept braking for nothing and was driving too close to the verge. There were a couple of big traffic cones at the side of the road, the civic drove too close and the passenger side mirror strikes a cone and smashes in bits. The car stops and I overtake it, at the same time im thinking, what a f**king muppet!!

I always check my car myself. This women knew she the hit the car and turned a blind eye, everyone around saw it.

Rovi

Sometime back in the mid '90s, I was driving a traditional white Transit van up the M6 in the UK. I was running tight for a ferry, so the accelerator was wedged firmly to the floor, doing 90MPH or thereabouts.
I was in the centre lane overtaking a line of trucks, when an old Ford Granada station wagon moved into the outside lane to overtake me; he was making heavy weather of it though, and was taking a long time to make progress beside me.
As he drew alongside, I could see that the car appeared to contain a large family and all of their belongings.
"This yoke's well loaded" I said to my passenger, and just as he turned to have a look, there was a tremendous bang out of the engine of the Granada and a huge gout of black smoke emerged out of the back of it. The car rapidly diminished in my mirror, with other traffic taking evasive action around him as he manoeuvred it towards the hard shoulder.
My passenger and I had had just enough time to glimpse the ashen faces in the car when the engine blew up and were pi55ing ourselves laughing, when it dawned on us that we might have just witnessed the start of a motorway pileup. :eek:
We called the emergency number posted on the signposts and told them what we'd seen, and they told us that they'd heard nothing about it but would investigate it straight away.
We listened in to the radio for the traffic report to hear if anything serious had happened, but that was the last we ever heard of it, so I suppose everyone got away with it in the end.
So, on the basis that no-one was hurt, I still tell this as a funny story, about some bloke flogging his POS Granada to death in the outside lane of the M6.

peasant

Which reminds me ...


Many, many years ago a few of us were travelling in two cars to somewhere or another. The guy in front had just put a new "sports exhaust" on his crappy old Beetle.

When we reached a tunnel, he decided he wanted to hear his new exhaust roar and downshifted to third gear (at about 100 km/h).

The roar and the scream from the exhaust was mighty !

For about 10 seconds ...then there was a very loud bang ...2 meter long flames shooting out the exhaust ...followed by a heavy rain of oil interspersed with little bits of metal ...all of which stuck to the windsreeen of the following car.

End of Beetle engine ...but what a spectacular way to go !

ART6

Driving down to our village shop a while ago, there was a car coming the other way with a couple of women in it. The one doing the driving was obviously deep in conversation with her friend, at whom she was looking and waving a hand in emphasis of some point I suppose. The car progressed steadily to the side of the road, mounted the verge, saved the farmer the job of trimming the hedge of his field, and then veered back onto the road. The driver and passenger continued their conversation as if nothing had happened. I managed to enjoy the whole incident as I had stopped, waiting to see if she was going run into me or go off the road altogether.

mikemac

ART6 wrote: »

The driver and passenger continued their conversation as if nothing had happened.

Ice water in their veins, respect! :cool:

ronnie3585

I was leaving a multi-story carpark last week, there was a woman in a corrolla in front of me at the barrier. After about three minutes watching her try to put her ticket in the machine to raise the barrier I started to get a bit p1ssed off as did the ten cars who were now waiting behind me. More time passed as she was still struggling with the machine, she then gets out and starts banging and kicking the machine. After about another five minutes of this she walks over to me and says "I'm really sorry but the machine won't take my money" - she had spent over ten minutes trying to put a €10 note into the machine that raises the barrier! Needless to say she wasn't the sharpest knife in the block, it took me another five minutes to explain to her that she had to put her ticket into the big yellow machine that said 'PAY HERE', and then put the ticket in the machine to raise the barrier. She had no comprehension whatsoever of how the system worked! I couldn't be angry with her, she wouldn't have understood it anyway:D

ART6

That has to be a classic:D:D

Hanley

ronnie3585 wrote: »

I was leaving a multi-story carpark last week, there was a woman in a corrolla in front of me at the barrier. After about three minutes watching her try to put her ticket in the machine to raise the barrier I started to get a bit p1ssed off as did the ten cars who were now waiting behind me. More time passed as she was still struggling with the machine, she then gets out and starts banging and kicking the machine. After about another five minutes of this she walks over to me and says "I'm really sorry but the machine won't take my money" - she had spent over ten minutes trying to put a €10 note into the machine that raises the barrier! Needless to say she wasn't the sharpest knife in the block, it took me another five minutes to explain to her that she had to put her ticket into the big yellow machine that said 'PAY HERE', and then put the ticket in the machine to raise the barrier. She had no comprehension whatsoever of how the system worked! I couldn't be angry with her, she wouldn't have understood it anyway:D

Was she Irish???? I woulda thought that every single person who lives here and drive knows that lay of the land on carparks at this stage...

DonJose

Was on the M4 when this muppet in a brand new VW Caddy flew past, probably going 150-160km/h. All off a sudden there is cloud of black feathers, poor crow didn't stand a chance. The muppet pulled over to check the damage and I drove past smiling.

sickami

i was stopped at the toll bridge on the M50 last summer when i saw the keys in the boot of an old grean astra the boot was open because she had the car packed with wire i shouted at her that her keys were in the boot and then she ran out of the car and grabbed them then she continued to drive along the road breaking the speadlimit and talking on the phone!!!!i would have called her a stupid blonde but she had black hair and it was going grey

ART6

Another one I would share -- Years ago we lived for a while in Enfield, North London, and my brother in law came to stay for a while. He was complete nutter, from an area of Waterford where they used to breed a very high quality of nutter, and he got a job doing maintenance for a property outfit. They gave him a little red van, but had sense enough to give him and old one.

One night, on the way home, he stopped to buy some beers at an off licence, and couldn't get his van to start, so he called me. The battery was obviously flat, so I asked him where it was so that I could use a set of jump leads. He said it didn't have one, which should have explained a lot. Anyway, I didn't know where it was either, so I tried push starting him. Having exhausted myself without effect I said "OK, I'll drive behind you and push you up the road with my car. Put the van in second gear and your foot hard down on the clutch and the loud pedal, and when I honk, let the clutch out. Success! There was a puff of blue smoke out of the van's exhaust and he took off up the road like something out of Cape Kennedy, hurtling past our turning at an ever increasing speed.

I couldn't catch him, so I gave up and went home, wondering how I'd explain to Wifey that I had just sent her brother into outer space. He appeared half an hour later. "Willie, where have you been?" wailed a distraught wifey. "Near to Cheshunt" he said. "By the time I'd worked out that yer man didn't mean keep me foot down all the time that's where I was."

Lovely guy, and this is actually true. But in the best traditions of Waterford nutters, he then moved to Germany, learned fluent German, and embarked on a very successful career.

S.I.R

was in a mates car on the rock road heading towards blackrock when we got under-taken by a rice'd up honda civic, yellow, silly bodykit , wolfrace alloys.... 6" exhaust ( i actually measured it ) , so yeah he undertook us , stoped at the junction only to find him over reving and since we had the a/c on he straight away got a car full of smoke... so we took out the emergancy light ( the one as used by a building site and such ) and stuck it on the roof and flashed him.... he pulled over straight away.


after explaining what he done he showed us his leisence and said that " ill do anything just dont write me a ticket " ( which made us pish our pants laughing ) he had no insurance, no tax no nct , no L plates as he is a prov. driver.... so we just said take the exhaust off, remove the decals on the windows which are Very dangous as you can barely see through the 75 % tints on the Banger !!


still have his details and such so if i ever see that boy racer again he's getting nailed....


that story still makes me choke and laugh at the same time....

Gary ITR

S.I.R wrote: »

was in a mates car on the rock road heading towards blackrock when we got under-taken by a rice'd up honda civic, yellow, silly bodykit , wolfrace alloys.... 6" exhaust ( i actually measured it ) , so yeah he undertook us , stoped at the junction only to find him over reving and since we had the a/c on he straight away got a car full of smoke... so we took out the emergancy light ( the one as used by a building site and such ) and stuck it on the roof and flashed him.... he pulled over straight away.


after explaining what he done he showed us his leisence and said that " ill do anything just dont write me a ticket " ( which made us pish our pants laughing ) he had no insurance, no tax no nct , no L plates as he is a prov. driver.... so we just said take the exhaust off, remove the decals on the windows which are Very dangous as you can barely see through the 75 % tints on the Banger !!


still have his details and such so if i ever see that boy racer again he's getting nailed....


that story still makes me choke and laugh at the same time....

You could have ended up in serious sh1t if he'd sussed you weren't cops. I heard a story of a guy who saw a drunk getting into a car, told him he was a guard, called the guards and was subsequently arrested for impersonating a guard

mikemac

S.I.R wrote: »

was in a mates car on the rock road heading towards blackrock when we got under-taken by a rice'd up honda civic, yellow, silly bodykit , wolfrace alloys.... 6" exhaust ( i actually measured it ) , so yeah he undertook us , stoped at the junction only to find him over reving and since we had the a/c on he straight away got a car full of smoke... so we took out the emergancy light ( the one as used by a building site and such ) and stuck it on the roof and flashed him.... he pulled over straight away.


after explaining what he done he showed us his leisence and said that " ill do anything just dont write me a ticket " ( which made us pish our pants laughing ) he had no insurance, no tax no nct , no L plates as he is a prov. driver.... so we just said take the exhaust off, remove the decals on the windows which are Very dangous as you can barely see through the 75 % tints on the Banger !!


still have his details and such so if i ever see that boy racer again he's getting nailed....


that story still makes me choke and laugh at the same time....

Aren't you like 16 or maybe 18?
And he believed you?

ronnie3585

micmclo wrote: »

Aren't you like 16 or maybe 18?
And he believed you?

Thought that too. Also if what you said is true it's a most serious offense which both the Gardai and the Courts take very seriously, not something I'd spout about on a public internet forum.

craichoe

ronnie3585 wrote: »

Thought that too. Also if what you said is true it's a most serious offense which both the Gardai and the Courts take very seriously, not something I'd spout about on a public internet forum.

I say this over and over again ...

Your thinking CSI Miami .. not CSI Mallow.

peasant

S.I.R.

maybe you should try your hand at his forum:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=382

now ...shoooo ...everybody back to topic

Captain Slow IRL

Back in phase 2 in Fas, Galway - one of the classmates had fitted a replacement engine to his fiesta a few days previous to this. We were driving around, pr!cking about, going into town at lunch and pulled up to the roundabout at travelodge - he revved the crap out of it an went to take off, a big bang, the engine revved up but we didn't go anywhere. Opened the bonnet, there was the engine half sitting on the road - he'd over-tightened the mounting bolts and they'd snapped.

We had to ring some other lads for a tow back to fas - got to spend the rest of the afternoon fixing the car in class though, thank god no more boring videos!