I'm_majorly_confused

tin_can_ted

I'm the same person who wrote this thread and it's about the same guy aswell so it might be worth a read before answering this thread.

So, about my friend Tom.....

Three of us were staying at a friends house. Playing xbox and drinking: having a laugh. Tom got bored and got his laptop out. Me and my other friend continued playing, Next thing we knew he was jacking off to some porn with us two in the room. :eek: He came and then went back to playing xbox. We all played for another 30 mins or so.

There was a bed in the room and another bed next door. He said that he wanted the on next door and that sure I could sleep in the same bed if I wanted. Sure, why not I thought. I like him so it'd be cool.

We went to bed. got down to our boxers. Mainly because it's the hotest house EVER.

"could you not take a hint" He said. He obviusly wanted me in the room anyway.

Anyway, he played with his phone for a bit and we talked for a bit. Then he turns to me and says:

"So, wanna try something tonight?"

I can't remember what exactly I said but I gave him a few tugs anyway. We were talking still and he said that he'd like to see what anal would be like. Both giving and taking. He just said he was curious. I said

"Not without a condom, I'm not."

He gave me one and I put it on and tried it. He said that it wasn't for him after about 2 mins trying to get it in.

That was the end of that and then we were lying there, I was still fondling him. Then he said:

"What about a blow job?"

I was a bit hessitant as I've never done it before and wasn't sure what I was at tbh. I messed around for a while anyway and he told me what was good for him etc.

After a little while he went to give me one. He tried it and about 10 seconds later he decided that it wasn't for him either.

I jacked him off in the end and he came - Hard. (was he really turned on?) After masterbating about 1 hour previous. So, we cuddled and went to sleep.

Next day we talked about it a little. I said that he was straight and there was no need to have even tried to give me a bj, I didn't mind. He replied:

"I was just really horny. I hadn't had sex in weeks. Don't talk about it anymore. and don't tell anyone."

I said fair enough and we went back to playing xbox.


Now, however, I'm really confused. Tom is straight, it was my first time being intimate with a fella and I dunno what's wrong with me. It was fun and would do it again in a heart beat but I'm unsure about my friends state of mind. Is it common enough for people to just experiment or whatever?

Also, I did the BJ without a condom and I feel bad. Like, he's only had two sexual partners previously, and I've had none but I'm still worried. He didn't cum anywhere near me and I had no cuts in my mouth or anything so I'm hopeing that I'm ok. I'm still a little worried though.

Wow, that's a long post. Sorry guys but ANY advice/ observations would very much be appreciated.

Thanks:pac:

Boston

What ever happened to simply kissing a boy?

Anyway, lots of guys wonder what it would be like being with another guy around Toms age. Sometimes the internal doubt is all consuming and one of the simplest ways to remove that doubt is to try something out and see if you like it. I think its safe to say it had little to do with just being horny and more to do with exploring another side of himself. You're someone he can trust and he probably feels safe being intimate with so a logical choice.

wrt oral sex without a condom, the risk of contracting something serious via oral sex is pretty low. Heres a list of sti clinics, they can provide you with information about the risks and safe practices.

Also, you might want to do a Google search for some sites outlining the basics of anal sex.

Rick_

It's not that weird. I have a straight best friend and he has been with me and masturbated to porn on TV or my computer while I am in the room. If we have both been drinking we both do it at the same time, me on the computer as I can watch something gay and he has whatever straight porn he can find to watch on TV. We don't think it's weird and is only done because we both just feel horny at the time and were good enough friends with each other to not have an issue with it. We have never done anything with each other sexually or otherwise, but he has said to me that if we were drunk and we ended up kissing or something he wouldn't be thinking the next day "what have I done?" as it's just drunken-ness and horny-ness that happens to everyone.

He even said to you that he was really horny because he hasn't had sex in ages... to him that's probably all it was. All the fun of masturbation but someone else doing the hard work. When you're drunk and really horny, I doubt many would care who was doing the pulling as long as it was pulled. Good on you for not doing anything unless you used condoms.

His reaction the morning after would be a typical one. I'm not sure whether he is trying to say to you "it was the drink, it won't happen again, don't talk about it" or if he means "we can do it again, but don't ever tell anyone" but if you were able to talk about it the day after and it was him that asked you and not the other way around then I would guess it's the latter.

azezil

Aye in fairness, when I'm drunk and horny I'll pretty much get off with anyone!

classy burd me

tin_can_ted

Just incase any of ye didn't read the other thread, I really like this guy. Like like him. :pac:

Boston wrote: »

What ever happened to simply kissing a boy?

Honestly, I think that that is nearly more intimate than anything else. I dunno, just an opinion.

I think that he is a very open minded person and I just think he was experimenting now that I've thought about it more.

.....to do with exploring another side of himself. You're someone he can trust and he probably feels safe being intimate with so a logical choice.

I'd like to think that he feels safe with me and wha you said there certainly makes loads of sense.

PaddyC wrote:

When you're drunk and really horny, I doubt many would care who was doing the pulling as long as it was pulled.

That's true, I suppose. Drunkeness does some crazy things

PaddyC wrote:

Good on you for not doing anything unless you used condoms.

Cheers. I'll just know to bring jonnies the next time

PaddyC wrote:

His reaction the morning after would be a typical one. I'm not sure whether he is trying to say to you "it was the drink, it won't happen again, don't talk about it" or if he means "we can do it again, but don't ever tell anyone" but if you were able to talk about it the day after and it was him that asked you and not the other way around then I would guess it's the latter.

Well, I neglected to say that before we did anything he told me that it didn't mean anything and that no relationship or anything would ever come of it. He also said that it would never happen again afterwards. I said "Never say Never" and he just said "Maybe..."


So, thanks for the comments guys. Feck it, I'd do it again if I had a chance. I'll just bring condoms next time!

Any other words of wisdom?

PS: Like, I've been talking to him about visiting him in college next year and stuff and he keeps messing, saying that I can stay with him. (same bed like). Dunno if it's serious or messing knowing that I'd jump at the opportunity

Boston

Words of Wisdom. You're far more into him then he is into you. Don't let yourself end up in a situation where you're waiting for him to come around.

cotwold

Boston wrote: »

Words of Wisdom. You're far more into him then he is into you. Don't let yourself end up in a situation where you're waiting for him to come around.

Too true.

tin_can_ted I think you needs to stop anything more than a friendly relationship with Tom. The last thing you want is to fall in love with someone who, not only wont, but cannot love you back in the same way(this is presuming he is straight).

To tom what happened to you was probably a bit of fun but you have to ask yourself the question "was it more than just fun for me?". I suspect you already know the answer.

tin_can_ted

Boston wrote: »

Words of Wisdom. You're far more into him then he is into you. Don't let yourself end up in a situation where you're waiting for him to come around.

What do you mean? Like wait for him to turn gay or something? I know that that won't happen. (unfortunately )

cotwold wrote:

The last thing you want is to fall in love with someone who, not only wont, but cannot love you back in the same way(this is presuming he is straight).

I fear that what you said is already true. But this was before anything happened. I know in my head that nothing will happen but like, I fell something else too.

I want to get over it for both of our sakes.

cotworld wrote:

To tom what happened to you was probably a bit of fun but you have to ask yourself the question "was it more than just fun for me?". I suspect you already know the answer.

I think that it was just a bit of fun for me too. I know that he thinks it was only that anyway. I really don't think that it meant anything more than that to either of us.

I'm just a very confused individual. It's not one bit of fun......

Thanks again for all the replies lads. It's really nice having people to talk to about it.

cotwold

tin_can_ted wrote: »

I fear that what you said is already true. But this was before anything happened. I know in my head that nothing will happen but like, I fell something else too.

I want to get over it for both of our sakes.

Yeah as i said its for the best, its difficult, but for the best. I found myself in a similar situation and really only got over it recently. I found the easiest way to get over the him was to find someone else.

tin_can_ted

Yeah, I'm thinking that too. But I'm not really in a situation to get someone else at the moment.

Feck it. Sure, I'm sure I'll get over it.

Oh and another thing that comes to mind now.

I told him that I fancied him ages ago, then I pretended to be over him but I was only fooling myself. Then I told him I never stopped fancying him.

He said that lying to him was one of the stupidest things I've done. I agree

But what I think that means is that, above anything else, I'll still have a great mate at the end of the day. That's way more important than anything else IMO.

Thanks again for this cotworld, it really helps writing all this stuff (crap) down...

Marshy

Its a curious situation. He seems to be very comfortable trying things out but at the same time is clearly ruling out anything more. The truth is you might find yourselves in a similar position again (excuse the ambiguity) and it may be great but there's not much point in expecting anyhting more.

Looks like you didn't really need to get him too drunk after all. At least you got one night anyway.

guy2454

wow total deja vu,what i can say from experience is this guy may or may not be gay,you cannot allow yourself to get too tied up in this because hes is worth far more to you as a friend than a boyfriend,youre young chances are IF you guys got together its the first ime either of you have been with a guy ye would both want to try other things with other people,its human nature, not just gay nature.so i say take it for what it was and move on.best of luck!

tin_can_ted

Well, I'm back :P

We went out there on Saturday night. Me, Tom and another friend. We hit the nightclub and then landed at my friends house. We went to bed. Tom got in beside me and my other friend, who owns the house, slept on the sofa. (There was room but he didn't want to for some reason).

Well, we were talking about the nights events. My friend was talking away and Tom starting giving me a few tugs and then just pulled off his boxers and whispered

"Just stick it in"

I duly complied. TBH, I don't care now what happens. I'll just go with the flow. I know nothing will ever happen happen ie. a relationship but until something else happens, I see no harm in it.

Still, it was fun!

PS: Tom has now decided to go to college where I am and he also now wants to live with me. My other friend (the same friend who's house we slept in) is also living with me too.

Good tiems ahead. :pac:

LegacyUser

Hey, I'm Tom...not your Tom tin_can_ted but someone elses...

I've messed around with a gay friend of mine but I was wary for him not to let it go too far. I knew that he liked me and I was just horny and that...He did want to have sex but I wouldn't let it happen, even when he begged but long term it wouldn't have been good for our friendship...

be careful if you do live together next year as that would really be an all or nothing scenario - either you fool around all the time or not at all, and him calling the shots won't be good for you

redcrew

be very careful that you don't get used. if you are living with him next year i'm sure his girlfriend will be visiting and that will leave you very open to jealousy...on wednesday night you might fool around but then his girlfriend will arrive on thursday and you are just a flatmate again....

tin_can_ted

redcrew wrote: »

be very careful that you don't get used. if you are living with him next year i'm sure his girlfriend will be visiting and that will leave you very open to jealousy...on wednesday night you might fool around but then his girlfriend will arrive on thursday and you are just a flatmate again....

Oh he doesn't have a girl friend anymore. Yeah, that's over. I'm sure he'll be fairly promiscuous though.

Rick_

I'm not even gonna bother reading this thread any more out of pure jealousy!

A mate of mine keeps throwing me mixed signals now and again and I would die of happiness if he finally turned around to me one night while we were drinking and said "let's try something..." and I got half the experience with my mate as you got with yours. Damn it, some people get it so lucky!

tin_can_ted

lol.

And he's kinda hawt

Nah, I just see it as a bit of fun now. And bhoy is it fun!

ateam

You said you cuddled with him? Explain that.

If a guy was just looking for sex but he was really straight, I don't think he would of cuddled.

stink_fist

This is for the OP

<snip> Its not even funny </snip>

Only taking the piss lol

tin_can_ted

ateam wrote: »

You said you cuddled with him? Explain that.

Yeah, well we'd be laying side by side and I'd put my arm over him or something. He didn't do any work but he wasn't exactly against me doing it either.

hoggibear

i know i should be replying to your queries but reading your detailed stories of your sexual goings on have gotten me seriously hot under the collar (and belt) haha... keep it coming haha

tin_can_ted

Well, I am to please

ChelskiLad

This happens to a lot of gay guys, my own mate and I have fooled around a couple of times, he's not gay tho, it just seems to be that straight lads these days will try anything when horny! (not a bad thing!) the problem is though when you get used to it. I mean, the last time i was with my mate, we stayed up talking afterwards, and it does mess with your head. So be careful, basically.

grandlike

There is NOTHING worse than falling for a straight guy, trust me. You may as well attempt loving a brick wall...

Be careful, as much as you're telling yourself its just fun, it can escalate into something a lot bigger in no time.

Hank Scorpio

gays

Goodshape

nuxxx wrote: »

gays

What?!? GAYS?!! HERE?!?

In the Lesbian & Gay & Bisexual forum!?!?!

NO WAI!




wait.... what was your point again?

LolaLuv

Wow, this post is quite juicy, me likes! It seems like things are going in a happy way for you, congrats on that, but please do be careful not to expect too much out of it. Messing around with someone you live with could get really ugly, but maybe less so if your friendship is strong.

On a side note, how common does everyone think it is for straight men to fool around with other men? I know all about the scale of sexuality, but this post really has me wondering just how much more common male bisexuality may be than society (I'm in the US, so maybe it's different) allows to be expressed. I don't mean to hijack the OP, just wondering.

tin_can_ted

Well, I'd imagine that it's common enough with young fellas (17-20). They'd just be curious and what have you. They'd try it once and realise that it's not for them. Of course, they'd be people who'd quite like it. :P

Reflector

wow, I wish my friends had been this cool. I reckon he's gay or at least bi and your his way to experiment. I mean you're both young so there is no pressure on an older party pushing for sex. What I would say is that it may be difficult to maintain a friendship when feelings come along from one party and not the other. Be careful, have fun and be safe

tin_can_ted

Honestly, I highly doubt he's even bi tbh. I think he's just horny pretty much like all the time and, as someone said in the other thread, people do almost anything when they are horny.

I don't know. I think he's just open minded or whatever. At the end of the day he's getting what he wants.



Another situation now.

Right, so he's moving in with me next year. I'm sharing a room with another friend and Tom is sharing a room with another friend of mine. Tom and the friend he's sharing with get on really well and I'm just gonna be completely honest when I say this, I'm kinda jealous.

I know it's not a nice thing at all but I can't help the way I feel. I kinda feel like my friend is like stealing Tom or something. I dunno... I think I'm gonna get hurt some how next year.

Tom has said that I could give him a BJ again but if I was to do it I think that I'll promise myself that it'll be the last time no matter what. I'm just gonna try and get over it as the year progresses.

It's fecking hard though. Unrequited love sucks monkeys balls!

Boston

I'm glad you realise you're in love with him and your emotions. I think its clear now that its far more then just a bit of fun for you. One thing is certain, it will be extremely difficult for you to commit to anyone else next year as long as you have this "one last time and never again after" attitude towards him.

You know what you have to do.

tin_can_ted

Boston wrote: »

One thing is certain, it will be extremely difficult for you to committee to anyone else next year as long as you have this "one last time and never again after" attitude towards him.

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean there. Could you say it again please?

Sorry for being a douche bag! :P


Thanks for all your helpful comments throughout the weeks and months, Boston, it really helps when there are people there to talk to.

Boston

I mean as long as you hold out hope for being with him you're not going to commit to being with anyone else. You're going to pass up opportunities to be with people who actually have the potential to love you as much as you do them. Nothing you feel now will compare to looking into someones eyes and knowing they feel the same way towards you. You'll probably always have some feelings for your friend since he represents a fair few "first times" for you, but he's not going to give you what you want.

And don't worry about being a douche bag, love's a pretty thorny thing.

tin_can_ted

Boston wrote: »

I mean as long as you hold out hope for being with him you're not going to commit to being with anyone else. You're going to pass up opportunities to be with people who actually have the potential to love you as much as you do them. Nothing you feel now will compare to looking into someones eyes and knowing they feel the same way towards you. You'll probably always have some feelings for your friend since he represents a fair few "first times" for you, but he's not going to give you what you want.

Nope, I'm not holding out for him anymore. I know his feelings are not going to change. I know this, yet I can't help but like him, ya know? I mean, he could (but he doesn't) treat me like crap and I'd still be there for him. I know that it is quiet sad and that if someone was to say that to me, I'd tell them that they are idiots but it's how I feel, and that can't be changed immediately.

Hopefully, I'll find something else and just get over him. Well, at the very least I'll still have a really good friend at the end of the day and that is far more valuable than some fling or whatever.

Thanks again.

Boston

tin_can_ted wrote: »

Nope, I'm not holding out for him anymore. I know his feelings are not going to change. I know this, yet I can't help but like him, ya know? I mean, he could (but he doesn't) treat me like crap and I'd still be there for him. I know that it is quiet sad and that if someone was to say that to me, I'd tell them that they are idiots but it's how I feel, and that can't be changed immediately.

Hopefully, I'll find something else and just get over him. Well, at the very least I'll still have a really good friend at the end of the day and that is far more valuable than some fling or whatever.

Thanks again.

Its good you're not holding out anymore. I know what you meaning about not being able to help feelings despite knowing nothing will come of them, most of us have been there at least once. And being there for someone regardless is part of being a good friend. You seem to have managed to make it through all this without making any serious permanent mistakes, you should feel proud of that fact.

tin_can_ted

Thanks for all your words Boston. I'll keep everyone updated anyway, I'm sure

lostanddribling

ok cmon, u promised an update, lol im dying to se what has happened since u last posted!!

tin_can_ted

Update.

Well, I've been living with him for the past few months and there haven't been any fights or anything really negative yet. I've slept in his bed a few times with him and he's slept in mine. Nothing has happened thus far but it does feel nice.

HOWEVER, one big revelation is that I told him last Friday night that I loved him. :eek: He said that he already knew and that don't think that I'm the only one in the world who loves someone they can't have. He says that he loves some girl but she's not interested.

On re-reading that, it wasn't as bad of a conversation as it may seem. We hugged for ten minutes or so while sitting on the bed and it was kinda nice to tell him.

I think I'm heading to the George for the first time sometime soon with some mates. All my friends are straight and some of them want to come. What kinda atmosphere is there? Would they be heavily outnumbered?

Boston

I'm glad to see you're still friends with him. You guys have a very "non conventional" friendship but it seems to be working, so fair play.

Never liked The George tbh, and yes they will be massively out numbered. Some may even get hit on. Just tell them not to stare at people no matter how "out of this world" they seem. If this is your first time in a gay bar I'd suggest somewhere like front lounge or even the newly done up pantibar. They're far less "intensive".

tin_can_ted

Two or three of them have been before and one of them thinks it's a compliment when girls hit on her so I'm sure they'll be grand.

Feck it. If I don't like it, I'll just leave, I guess.

Boston

If you're going with friends things will be a lot easier. Chat, relax, dance, have a good time and most of all don't stress about it.

Murder.1

I wanna go to the George

Anyway, interesting read I must say! I'm quite envious of your relationship with Tom, but then again I realise that it could cause a lot of complications. But at least you've had him good aul chap :P;)