Negative reactions to your stammer...

Bass Cadet

The only place and from the only people I ever get a negative reaction with my stammer is at home and with my family. It's strange because if anything, I rarely stammer when I'm at home or talking to a family member, yet I still get the 'take a breath' or 'slow down' bullsh!t I got when I was a kid if there is any kind of a block at all. It would only happen if I was arguing or was excited about something, yet they still seem to think it helps to be critical, which it's not.

If I'm with my family and in the company of strangers or relations, I'm only ever nervous about what reaction my family will have to my speech rather than the strangers. Maybe this speaks volumes about my stammer?

Outside of the family, I can't remember the last time I had a negative response to stammering. I know strangers will generally be more polite than family but it's as if people listen to what I say rather than how I'm saying it (as in they don't care as long as they understand what I'm saying). I can be fluent at times but when I block or stutter, its pretty obvious to anyone listening!

Anyway, has anyone else had similar experiences? Where would you have had most negative responses to a block, etc...if any?

BigPhil

My family are okay about my stammer which is just as well because I stammer the worst when I'm talking to them. My dad is extremely cool about it and is very patient, my mother and sisters are less patient (they always try to finish my sentences etc) but are still okay about it and otherwise supportive.

The worst negative reaction I got was when I was in primary school, kids would mock my stammer and I had a hard time until I reached my teenage years, I still stammered by I learnt how to hide most of the time and only had bad moments when I was asked to read aloud in class etc.

Nowadays the only real negative reactions I get are in job interviews where I am expected to sell myself to an employer and hope that I stammer as little as possible so I can get my point across and hopefully get hired. It's tough though, my stammer seems to catch interviewers off guard (even if I tell them that I stammer) and they usually look very uncomfortable which in turn makes me feel even more uncomfortable and I stammer way worse then I usually would.

Stephen P

I always seem to stammer worse when I'm with my family for some reason. They never say slow down or comment at all. I live with my fiancee and she tends to say slow down when I get excited or block. I know she says it to help me but I wonder does it make me worse? She also tells me to "slide", a technique I learned in theraphy, I know she really wants me to improve for my own sake. A good time to practise techniques is in front of family and close friends but I think it can be a little embarrassing too as they're used to me speaking with a stammer, I'd be afraid they would comment if I start using techniques. I know that probably sounds silly.

ParkRunner

I can see alright why people have more difficulty when speaking to their family. In my opinion, if a stammer has persisted into adult life, the negative reactions which family members have to the stammer may be a significant contribution to the reason why the stammer has persisted. Most of our developing years are spent at home with the family, so if there are one or more members in the family who do not know how best to handle the stammer then I believe there is little chance of improvement in fluency until you get out of home.
I am getting private speech therapy now and havent even told my family that I am doing it, as they may have unrealistic expectations of what benefits can occur which would only add to the pressure. As part of the therapy I am really analysing other peoples reactions to my stammer, along with my own thoughts surrounding it and I have to say I am finding very little negative reaction, which has helped with my own perception of my stammer.

DenMan

I was the same. I used to have a very bad stammer. For some reason I wasn't so bad at home. On the phone however it was very bad. I nearly choked trying to get my words across. I am not sure what happened, it seemed to disappear over night. Now it doesn't affect me at all. My advice would do something that gives you enormous confidence. Maybe write a short story or take up a musical instrument. Might be an interaction thing. You'll get there in the end. Go for it. Peace.

Twee.

When I was about eight someone laughed at my stammer for the first time and oh god I cried so much, I was so upset! I never really get comments and if someone does say something I'll just retort that I don't appreciate them slagging my speech impediment, makes them feel guilty People thinks it's funny to make a comment but they don't know that it gets to you deep down.
I absolutely hate when someone finishes what I'm trying to say. I'm not mentally deficient in some way, it just takes me longer to say things!
I was so nervous for my mock Irish oral, reading the sliocht, that I stammered terribly and didn't have to read the whole thing, nice examiner.


EDIT: Denman, I dance, no words needed!

For some reason I also stammer more at home and get the usual 'take your time thing'.

One of my sisters is very patronising, the other has a stammer so is grand.

Personally, I find restaurants or dealing with people I don't know on the phone to be excruciating. The number of times I have had to hang up on people because its taken me over a minute to say 'hello' is very high. I have also often ordered the wrong food as I can't pronounce the food I want to order.