Men!!

LegacyUser

I was seeing a bloke last year for about 6mths & then he broke it off with me saying he didn't see it going anywhere long term & so on. I was upset at the time but got over him & moved on. I never contacted him at all not even when I had a few drinks too many & you're resolve is weak! but he'd text me every now & again always late on a Sat nite just saying hello but I never replied, not to a drunken text.

But one Sat nite about 4mths ago I gave in & texted him asking how he was. This is where I am now confused coz he has been texting me every few weeks since then asking how I am & general chitchat. Why? My friends have said he probably likes to think that I'm hanging on for him to declare his love for me & this massages his ego !! I got a sence from his last text that he was kind of flirting with me or maybe I was imagining it. We live 40miles from each other so it not as if we are pals who'll bump into each other in the pub. Personally, I have never really kept in contact with any ex boyfriends so guys any opinions why a man who would break it off saying he's not interested in you, would then keep texting his ex. Is he guilty, wants to be friends or is there another motive??? They say woman are confusing. Ha!

Beruthiel

Why don't you just ask him why he keeps texting you?
That way you'll get the correct answer.

Thumpette

Yeah, don't let him continue playing these little mind games with you. I reckon at this stage ask out straight and demand a straight answer. Maybe itll be the opportunity he's been waiting for.

kevmy

He obviously not getting anywhere with the ladies at present and is gagging for it. Thats why they come on Saturday nights.

If you ask me, as a guy, I'd say it's just sex he's after, especially since he's said it's not going anywhere long term. Unless all of his texts are 'I made a mistake I should never have broken up with you, your the love of my life' yadda yadda yadda.

biko

Just ask him to stop if it bothers you, or is it massaging your own ego?

MIN2511

Men are too confusing i swear... When next he texts you why don't you tell him that you would appreciate it if he stopped texting you and you have moved on with your life and hope he has done the same with his... Short, simple and direct

RedXIV

Lets be realistic, the OP isn't going to just text out of the blue saying "why the hell are you talking to me?"

Sounds like your the safety net OP. you probably don't want to hear it but if he broke it off with you in the first place, he was probably interested in someone else. Maybe thats fallen through and you've started back on the scene so he reckons there's still something to salvage.

LegacyUser

kevmy wrote: »

He obviously not getting anywhere with the ladies at present and is gagging for it. Thats why they come on Saturday nights.

If you ask me, as a guy, I'd say it's just sex he's after, especially since he's said it's not going anywhere long term. Unless all of his texts are 'I made a mistake I should never have broken up with you, your the love of my life' yadda yadda yadda.

I'm thinking that myself!! A few wks after he broke up with me the texts were on Sat nites & I got the feeling he was put out that I wasn't ringing & texting him begging him to take me back. Now though they're normal hours & he's not drunk. I don't want to ask him outright coz he'll know I'm wondering is he still into me. I dont' want to boost his ego anymore!! I was on holidays last week & he said to me to let him know how I get on, so he's expecting me to text him, which there's not a hope in hell of!

veryangryman

Speaking of confusing....

toto666 wrote: »

I never contacted him at all not even when I had a few drinks too many & you're resolve is weak! but he'd text me every now & again always late on a Sat nite just saying hello but I never replied, not to a drunken text.

But one Sat nite about 4mths ago I gave in & texted him asking how he was. This is where I am now confused coz he has been texting me every few weeks since then asking how I am & general chitchat. Why? My friends have said he probably likes to think that I'm hanging on for him to declare his love for me & this massages his ego !! I got a sence from his last text that he was kind of flirting with me or maybe I was imagining it. We live 40miles from each other so it not as if we are pals who'll bump into each other in the pub. Personally, I have never really kept in contact with any ex boyfriends so guys any opinions why a man who would break it off saying he's not interested in you, would then keep texting his ex. Is he guilty, wants to be friends or is there another motive??? They say woman are confusing. Ha!

Your and my definitions of the word "never" are very different. This is why guys use the word to a minimum. When we say it, we mean it.

Example: I'm never drinking again!

Yes i know im way off topic................

Wagon

Yeah we're bastards alright. Can't we do anything perfect?

Best thing to do is to call him up and ask him what the craic is. It's the only way you'll know for sure.

Petrolium Hat

Wagon wrote: »

Yeah we're bastards alright. Can't we do anything perfect?

Best thing to do is to call him up and ask him what the craic is. It's the only way you'll know for sure.

Spot on. It amazes me so many people open threads asking "what did he/she mean by this text". Eh ask him/her?

Seriously, it's only way to see what the story is.

Blackpitts

he is just horny and he hopes you can help him to "fix" it.
just move on or u will be disappointed again.

kevmy

toto999 wrote: »

I'm thinking that myself!! A few wks after he broke up with me the texts were on Sat nites & I got the feeling he was put out that I wasn't ringing & texting him begging him to take me back. Now though they're normal hours & he's not drunk. I don't want to ask him outright coz he'll know I'm wondering is he still into me. I dont' want to boost his ego anymore!! I was on holidays last week & he said to me to let him know how I get on, so he's expecting me to text him, which there's not a hope in hell of!

The guy obviously still thinks there is a chance especially cause he broke it off with you. If your not interested tell him straight, us guys don't pick up on signals.

If you are interested just be warned his main motivation is probably not long term relationship

Miss Fluff

I'd say he has hit a dry spell and wants you there for fun and frolics should the mood take him, he wants to keep you firmly on the subs bench until something better comes along. If you want no-strings sex great. Sounds like you like him though and he has clearly stated he is not into anything serious so I'd text him if I were you and tell him you've moved onwards and upwards. Then delete his number.

Wibbs

Never in the history of humanity have so many people been able to communicate in so many ways yet so few do.

Look this stuff is really simple. Ring him and ask him what's what. So what if he reckons you still fancy him? Big deal. If you don't, him thinking it can hardly effect you unless you let it and want it to. If you do fancy him and he says the same then lay down some ground rules. Be straight and honest. An honest man or woman has few regrets.

towel401

Blackpitts wrote: »

he is just horny and he hopes you can help him to "fix" it.
just move on or u will be disappointed again.

ya rly?

Wibbs

towel401, try to add more to the thread in future plus txtspeak is not tolerated around here to boot.

Overheal

Wibbs wrote: »

Never in the history of humanity have so many people been able to communicate in so many ways yet so few do.

plus freaking one.

It could be innocent at the same time OP. Has he broke up with your other one? Possible he's just missing old times if his other girl fell through. But either way you need to ask him.

missmatty

Subs bench ftw....

You did this to yourself, you texted him back and that gave him encouragement. So he's amusing himself now.

Best thing to do is if you want the contact to stop, stop texting him. It's really that simple

AngryBadger

Wibbs wrote: »

Look this stuff is really simple. Ring him and ask him what's what. So what if he reckons you still fancy him? Big deal. If you don't, him thinking it can hardly effect you unless you let it and want it to. If you do fancy him and he says the same then lay down some ground rules. Be straight and honest. An honest man or woman has few regrets.

Spot on! +1

horsecrap

IMO, id say he is keeping his options open.... so if he ever happens to meet you out. then, he mite get with ya. or not. alota people text their old flings after a nite out. dont ask me why, but i think its to have some options open.

RealEstateKing

Men are too confusing i swear

Men are not confusing, women are not cunfusing: PEOPLE are confusing, especially when you get in relationships with 'em.

daisey

toto666 wrote: »

I was seeing a bloke last year for about 6mths & then he broke it off with me saying he didn't see it going anywhere long term & so on. I was upset at the time but got over him & moved on. I never contacted him at all not even when I had a few drinks too many & you're resolve is weak! but he'd text me every now & again always late on a Sat nite just saying hello but I never replied, not to a drunken text.

But one Sat nite about 4mths ago I gave in & texted him asking how he was. This is where I am now confused coz he has been texting me every few weeks since then asking how I am & general chitchat. Why? My friends have said he probably likes to think that I'm hanging on for him to declare his love for me & this massages his ego !! I got a sence from his last text that he was kind of flirting with me or maybe I was imagining it. We live 40miles from each other so it not as if we are pals who'll bump into each other in the pub. Personally, I have never really kept in contact with any ex boyfriends so guys any opinions why a man who would break it off saying he's not interested in you, would then keep texting his ex. Is he guilty, wants to be friends or is there another motive??? They say woman are confusing. Ha!

no offence hun but i think it is pretty obvious that this guy only wants to get his leg over that will explain the late sat nites i think it typically happens to every girl im afraid ah arnt men perfect

LouOB

ahh ffs
if you are h*rny see if he available
if your not interested -STOP TEXTING HIM BACK
get new mobile - change your number clean slate

McGinty

An honest man or woman has few regrets.

Here, here.

Quit giving this situation so much headspace and ask outright, if not, carrying on being confused and second guessing. Maybe you are enjoying the drama of 'does he' 'doesn't he'. Also the fact that your post opens with 'Men!' suggests a slight attitude towards men. Maybe he is looking for a legover, maybe not, maybe he regrets dropping you and is testing you out, but at the moment there sounds like an element of game playing on both sides. Do you like this man, if so tell him, if not then tell him to quit texting. For your own sake though stop trying to read his mind, it doesn't work.

Aurora Borealis

McGinty wrote: »

Here, here.

Quit giving this situation so much headspace and ask outright, if not, carrying on being confused and second guessing. Maybe you are enjoying the drama of 'does he' 'doesn't he'. Also the fact that your post opens with 'Men!' suggests a slight attitude towards men. Maybe he is looking for a legover, maybe not, maybe he regrets dropping you and is testing you out, but at the moment there sounds like an element of game playing on both sides. Do you like this man, if so tell him, if not then tell him to quit texting. For your own sake though stop trying to read his mind, it doesn't work.

+1

If you want more ask him outright. If he doesn't want what you want then there's not much point persuing anything between you. You've got to be on the same page whether you like it or not.