Lifestyle Change

LegacyUser

Hi,
Basically, Im sick of spending my money in the pub at the w/end. Im 31 y/o single male living on my own. I work Mon-Friday and train (gym & run) 3-4 times a week. However I generally end up in the pub 2-3 times a week at the w/end. There is always something on, a B/day, a stag, work function, mates home on holidays, always something. If someone is going out I just can't seem to say no, Thurs/Fri night might have a few with work, Sat night would normally head a with couple of mates who are single and Sunday could end up watching football in pub with other mates. I think as I am single I'm afraid I might miss something, or the alternative is to just sit in on my own. I want my lifestyle to be healthier and to be more financially secure and would like to restrict it to Sat nights but can't seem to say no if someone is heading out. I earn realtively decent salary of > 70K p.a. with a mortgage of €1,400 per month and I end up living month to month with relatively little savings.

Any suggestions?

NoQuarter

jesus man ill swap ya my life for yours no bother...


college all week, work all weekend, broke as a joke, would love the weekends off.... you have it easy mate, if you want a healthier lifestyle you need to set a goal

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

king_stew is right, you have it all going for you. all you need is a woman and you'll be happy out i'd say.

littlefriend

Don't leave yourself with so much disposable income [man I am jealous] Have a decent chunk of your wage debited from your account the day you get paid into a savings/investment policy that you do not have instant access to.

Maybe sign up for a marathon or something - you can still go out but probably not as often. Actually now that I think about it, apparently training for a marathon is quite a lonely thing to do so would you think about joining a team to play some sport? It would be a bit of a focus - you sound like you are drifting.

Try to limit yourself to one night out with work ppl - do you really need to see them all week and on two nights out as well? Apart from that maybe drive to the pub on Sundays so that you don't/can't drink there.

BTW you pretty much won't ever miss anything if you stay in for a night

RedXIV

ChangeNeeded wrote: »

I think as I am single I'm afraid I might miss something, or the alternative is to just sit in on my own.

Aha! nailed your problem right here!

Believe it or believe it not, the pub/club is NOT the best place to meet women who you are likely to go into a relationship with. Stunning information which shocks many people but believe me, i kid you not. Join clubs that you are interested in and talk to the women there.
1) you'll have an extra activity during the week and
2) any women you like the look of there will have something in common with you

You save money, you stay fitter, you meet women.

All in all, thats not a bad deal methinks

LoanShark

RED XIV is there anything you dont know??

Anyway,
OP Do you really want to give all those funfilled nights and that sweet cold,cold beer in the pub? Just to stay in with a girl???

But I do see your point about being almost broke at Month end..

Do you have a Nintendo Wii? If you get all your mates around to your house one night a week,a play a few games.You all play sports games,Get Fit(ish) and have a realativy cheap night since a case of beer would cost about €20. Thats one night sorted..

I,Like you would HAVE had to go out every night,Incase I missed something,Then I just stopped. I now go out maybe 2-3 nights a month,
and I discoverd I have'nt really missed anything..

RedXIV

LoanShark wrote: »

RED XIV is there anything you dont know??

Next weeks's lotto numbers but i'm working on it

But seriously OP, LoanShark has a good idea there. a night out can cost up to 200 if your stupid enough (:( like me ) but a night in, 30 max, and that includes beer, food and taxi
Think about it

milkerman

There is nothing unusual about the way you are thinking now. It's good to live your current lifestyle for a few years but you eventually get bored with the pub, parties etc. I think you need goals, targets to be truly happy . For some it will be career, for most it will be settling down with someone and raising sprogs.
Generally I think its good to carouse & party when you are in your early twenties. It gets the wildness out of your system & you learn a lot about life at a time when you dont have kids/partners to think about. When you settle down into domesticity you wont miss the single life because you did it & bought the tee-shirt.
Good Luck

CerebralCortex

RedXIV wrote: »

Aha! nailed your problem right here!

Believe it or believe it not, the pub/club is NOT the best place to meet women who you are likely to go into a relationship with. Stunning information which shocks many people but believe me, i kid you not. Join clubs that you are interested in and talk to the women there.
1) you'll have an extra activity during the week and
2) any women you like the look of there will have something in common with you

You save money, you stay fitter, you meet women.

All in all, thats not a bad deal methinks

Ya fine but wtf do women do?

RedXIV

CerebralCortex wrote: »

Ya fine but wtf do women do?

Sports, Gym, volunteer work (a previously unknown gem to me), go to the park, hell even the supermarket was where i asked a girl on a date. Believe it or not, the tradition of a girl spending all day in the kitchen and then heading to the nightclub after dinner is a lie! :eek:

man, women are EVERYWHERE! just look!

DAVE_K

I was in this situation a few years back
What i did was this

Took up surfing which saw me heading for the west coast at the weekends

Took up martial arts which saw me training most of the week

Staying in when your friends are out and about is nigh on impossible - remove yourself from the situation

LoanShark

RedXIV wrote: »

Next weeks's lotto numbers but i'm working on it

I DOUBT THAT YOU'LL BE ON HERE NEXT WEEK TELLING US WHAT THEY ARE IF YOU DID WORK IT OUT!!

RedXIV

LoanShark wrote: »

I DOUBT THAT YOU'LL BE ON HERE NEXT WEEK TELLING US WHAT THEY ARE IF YOU DID WORK IT OUT!!

Course i will, i might even subscribe then simple man of simple pleasures here

and2

70k a year, i earn half that and stil have savings, go out, pay a mortgage..
wanna swap jobs?!

CerebralCortex

RedXIV wrote: »

hell even the supermarket was where i asked a girl on a date. Believe it or not,

I'd love to know how you pulled that one off.

RedXIV wrote: »

the tradition of a girl spending all day in the kitchen and then heading to the nightclub after dinner is a lie! :eek:

I agree.

RedXIV wrote: »

man, women are EVERYWHERE! just look!

Sure there is but I always fall at the first hurdle it seems in finding activities where there is a balance of men to women. Maybe I'm not been creative enough or women don't like to do the things I'm interested in, or maybe because I don't live in Dublin..... I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. Maybe having a woman in my life would change things. For the time being I'm going to concentrate on the gym and restrict going on the lash to Sat nights, even if the lads are in the pub on Sundays I will stick to the soft drinks

RedXIV

CerebralCortex wrote: »

I'd love to know how you pulled that one off.

She was looking through the video game section and looked completely lost, i asked her if she wanted any help, innocently called myself a computer nerd, she told me it was her brother's birthday, as i was trying to gauge his interests, i was also asking questions about her. when i found one i was pretty sure he'd like she said "Thanks a million, don't know how to thank you?"
all i had to say was "I'll accept a drink on saturday night if you're out?" numbers exchanged, and we had a date

CerebralCortex wrote: »

Sure there is but I always fall at the first hurdle it seems in finding activities where there is a balance of men to women. Maybe I'm not been creative enough or women don't like to do the things I'm interested in, or maybe because I don't live in Dublin..... I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

You should try classes that you might not traditionally associate with being "manly". this is a major hurdle for some people. Yoga is a good one, which for some reason guys seem hesitent to try. it's actually very good for you and will usually have more girls than guys. the dublin thing isn't a factor, i've lived in dublin a grand total of 3 months all my life, and i've been meeting women longer than that. Trust me, the options are there, just look around.

Also, summer is coming, go with mates to the beach. set up a volleyball net, invite people (girls ) to play

fasty

RedXIV wrote: »

She was looking through the video game section and looked completely lost, i asked her if she wanted any help, innocently called myself a computer nerd, she told me it was her brother's birthday, as i was trying to gauge his interests, i was also asking questions about her. when i found one i was pretty sure he'd like she said "Thanks a million, don't know how to thank you?"
all i had to say was "I'll accept a drink on saturday night if you're out?" numbers exchanged, and we had a date

Man, that sounds like how IMAGINE meeting the woman of my dreams!

On a serious note though, great advice from you as always. I'm struggling with being at a bit of a loose end lately with a lot of my friends settling down and living with a nice, but a quiet, mostly absent flatmate and I'm struggling to meet new people and I've found all your posts pretty inspiring!

McGinty

Hi Op

I didn't get the vibe from your post that you are looking to meet a woman right now but just a change of lifestyle. Have you ever considered doing any of the following:-

visiting an art gallery (if your in Dublin, there is the national gallery, the hugh lane gallery and the imma)
alternative cinema (ifi)
comedy clubs
live gigs
the theatre
there is a forum here that organises events that do not involve drink
joining a hiking group
Dancing such as salsa etc

There is a huge amount of stuff to do and it is amazing how we can all get in to a rut, you are lucky that you have a good income and you should enjoy it a variety of ways. I know some of the stuff I mentioned have drink at them but it sounds like you want more stimulation and variety than just the pub. Finally are you interested in reading/writing or anything alternative, because you could join reading clubs/creative workshops/art classes/ learn a language/ join a poker group. That should keep you going

RedXIV

fasty wrote: »

Man, that sounds like how IMAGINE meeting the woman of my dreams!

On a serious note though, great advice from you as always. I'm struggling with being at a bit of a loose end lately with a lot of my friends settling down and living with a nice, but a quiet, mostly absent flatmate and I'm struggling to meet new people and I've found all your posts pretty inspiring!

Always good to hear! Like i tell everyone else, let me know if your around for a night out, i always like meeting new peoples Up in Dublin for the summer so if your here, we'll go for a night out somewhere