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Anxious second timer

  • 28-05-2008 11:37am
    #1
    Shanobi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    I'm probably what you'd call a 'Boards Voyuer' because i'm always on it yet never registered until today. I'm looking for advice on a troubling topic. Up until recently I was seeing a girl from college, we broke up after two years because we ended up in each others pockets and it became quite irritating.

    My problem is this, ive now started seeing another girl and i'm worried that when it comes to sex, I wont be able to perform. Me and my ex had a good sex life but when we slept together for the first time I was a bag of nerves and made a right mess of it. Some of that was proably due to the fact that I was a virgin and she wasn't. But I got over it the second time and we were ok.

    I'm worried that if I sleep with this girl the same thing will happen so... Should I wait and see then explain or should I just tell her in advance about my anxiety?


Comments

  • #2
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    PLEASE Don't say anything to her before... it might be a bag or nerves...
    Some of the lads here might be able to help you and share their experiences :)


  • #3
    Anti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    Just take the bull by the horns... so to speak. You should be grand, and if not she will probably find it quite cute.


  • #4
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Communication is an amazing thing.

    You're not a virgin, you've done this before. you need to ease into it is all. like riding a bike, you never forget (worst pun ever)

    The trick to a good sex life is knowing what the other person likes and this is very easy to discover through our word of the day, communication!

    Seriously, OP, Take your time, don't get worked up because that will only make things awkward. Ask the girl what she likes, ask her if she's enjoying what you're doing, do not be afraid to talk during sex, people get lost doing that. enjoy the sensation of learning about a body and don't forget the magic word, COMMUNICATION!


  • #5
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Whether you're a virgin or not, it's always a bit nerve-wracking sleeping with a new partner. They could be your 20th sexual partner but they're still new so it's a new experience. But OP, you're making WAY too much of a big deal of this and that's what's freaking you out - the building-up in your mind and all these imagined yet non existing demons, rather than the thing itself.
    Why should you feel so nervous? Why punish yourself like that? Give yourself a break and have a couple of drinks beforehand too. I'm not advocating getting pissed, but a small bit of Dutch courage is no harm the first time.


  • #6
    Shanobi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭Shanobi


    Dudess, if you weren't from Cork i'd be convinced you know me well. Thats the problem, i'm a demon for getting into my own head and obsessing :(


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  • #7
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    You and me both, man. I'm unbelievable for it. But I'm learning to change my thinking, and I'm starting to come round. You can retrain yourself - definitely.


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