alone

LegacyUser

I wish i didn't feel so alone. i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

taylor1501

are you ok? whats your story

Grawns

I know this will sound facile but if you want immediate unconditional love and devotion then get a pet. A puppy especially. And maybe someday you'll find that special person.

How Strange

alone wrote: »

I wish i didn't feel so alone.

OP why do you feel alone? Do you have friends and family and a social life?

i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

This is completely different to being alone. This is physical intimacy and close human contact.

It's may be a cliche but it's true - you can be in a room full of people and still feel completely alone.

Getting a puppy or a kitten is a good idea if you are looking for attentiveness and contact.

RedXIV

How Strange wrote: »

OP why do you feel alone? Do you have friends and family and a social life?


This is completely different to being alone. This is physical intimacy and close human contact.

It's may be a cliche but it's true - you can be in a room full of people and still feel completely alone.

Getting a puppy or a kitten is a good idea if you are looking for attentiveness and contact.

*shrug* this may be the OP's best way of describing the feeling of alone.

OP, If you want to fix this, whats stopping you? Do you realise how many guys and girls come on here looking for someone, anyone, just to have, and with that in mind, your potential options are limitless. So i ask, is there another reason why you feel you are alone?

LegacyUser

alone wrote: »

I wish i didn't feel so alone. i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

sorry about sending that last night. sure isn't that what we all want in fairness. just was having a hard night. i think it's the feeling of someone understanding me that i need most right now. i just need to reach out to someone, i'm sorry, i don't know.
How Strange, you are so right when you say that you can be in a room full of people and still feel completely alone. i hate that feeling. i'm sorry i don't feel up to explaining much more right now. my head's just a mess.

and thanks for the suggestions about a puppy. unfortunately i live alone and am out of the house most of the day so wouldn't be in a good position to look after a dog, leaving it alone all day and stuff. plus i wouldn't really have the time to toilet train her or stuff, and am slightly nervous around dogs.

as ideas go it's not a bad one though, so thanks guys..

claireorea

why don't u move in with friends? that way u wont feel so alone!!
or go out every night and hook up with random strangers until u meet the one that fits

Victor

claireorea wrote: »

why don't u move in with friends? that way u wont feel so alone!! or go out every night and hook up with random strangers until u meet the one that fits

Behave.

Welcome to boards.ie You seem to be new, can I recommend you read here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57416

On topic, constructive posts only please.

Nerin

alone wrote: »

sorry about sending that last night. sure isn't that what we all want in fairness. just was having a hard night. i think it's the feeling of someone understanding me that i need most right now. i just need to reach out to someone, i'm sorry, i don't know.
How Strange, you are so right when you say that you can be in a room full of people and still feel completely alone. i hate that feeling. i'm sorry i don't feel up to explaining much more right now. my head's just a mess.

and thanks for the suggestions about a puppy. unfortunately i live alone and am out of the house most of the day so wouldn't be in a good position to look after a dog, leaving it alone all day and stuff. plus i wouldn't really have the time to toilet train her or stuff, and am slightly nervous around dogs.

as ideas go it's not a bad one though, so thanks guys..

im not being smart, but a cat maybe?
they dont need alot of attention, and will ramble around on their own.
my cat shows up when he pleases and will stay with me for hours,then when im not there he goes off hunting

RealistSpy

Well why don't you try joining a sports club? Thats a good way to feel wanted and not alone and as a party of an organisation.

MagicMarker

alone wrote: »

I wish i didn't feel so alone. i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

When i didn't have a gf i used to feel somewhat lonely, and a large proportion of the time i'd think about how to go about getting another girlfriend. But it's really not healthy! I am now single and I am completely happy being single, apart from lack of sex i really have no complaints:)

You're single, you should be enjoying this time!! You should be happy that you can do you're own thing in life and not have to take anyone elses feelings into consideration! For instance, you can go travelling anywhere anytime, because there's nothing keeping you here, no ball and chain...

The only way you can truely be happy with someone, is when you learn to be truely happy on your own.

Overheal

Dog or a Cat might be a good quick fix. Cats obviously need less maintenance and are great for stress relief; and Dogs are babe magnets Take thatt little tyke for a walk and be awed by the degree of attention you receive. Though he may chew up your furniture and require large amounts of nurturing

It seems like a bit of a cop out but it can do you a lot of good to adopt a pet.

LegacyUser

Hey

Please please don't take this the wrong way but I'm really not into animals, I've never warmed to them, and I like my house and don't really want them coming in p*ssing over my house, furniture etc, shedding hair etc. I sound awful I know but that's just how I feel.

And it is the emotional connection with someone I miss / want. I know it's probably a case of better than nothing but is it really possible to get that with something other than a person. I'm really sorry I was hoping that someone would understand. I just feel even more mis-understoood now..

MagicMarker

alone wrote: »

Hey

Please please don't take this the wrong way but I'm really not into animals, I've never warmed to them, and I like my house and don't really want them coming in p*ssing over my house, furniture etc, shedding hair etc. I sound awful I know but that's just how I feel.

And it is the emotional connection with someone I miss / want. I know it's probably a case of better than nothing but is it really possible to get that with something other than a person. I'm really sorry I was hoping that someone would understand. I just feel even more mis-understoood now..

Do you think you're the only person who feels alone or something? We ALL know what it's like to feel alone, there is no misunderstanding here.

Yeah it's sad boo hoo, but believe it or not, you CAN control how you feel to a certain extent.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get off your arse and do something about it!

AckwelFoley

Victor wrote: »

Behave.

Welcome to boards.ie You seem to be new, can I recommend you read here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57416

On topic, constructive posts only please.

.. it works for some ppl.. but in the long run isnt a good idea.

I went through that phase...

now im avoiding women all together..

*sigh*

colly10

alone wrote: »

And it is the emotional connection with someone I miss / want. I know it's probably a case of better than nothing but is it really possible to get that with something other than a person. I'm really sorry I was hoping that someone would understand. I just feel even more mis-understoood now..

I know how ye feel, I feel like that sometimes when im single, but I think it's something most people can relate to. You meet the person your looking for sooner or later, in the mean time just try not to think about it

FearDark

Op: I wish i didn't feel so alone. i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

I feel exactly the same... I miss that, want that too.

LegacyUser

MagicMarker wrote: »

Do you think you're the only person who feels alone or something? We ALL know what it's like to feel alone, there is no misunderstanding here.

Yeah it's sad boo hoo, but believe it or not, you CAN control how you feel to a certain extent.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get off your arse and do something about it!

the misunderstanding is not that nobody understand what i'm saying in the posting, i already acknowledged that everyone feels this.

what i meant was that it was the feeling of complete understanding and acceptance by another person that i really miss, the emotional connection, and the talk of cats and dogs was making me feel even more so like that. if that makes sense.

and who says i'm feeling sorry for myself, rather than simply looking for somewhere to express my feelings rather than keeping them in my head.

and how do you know i'm not already trying to do something about it, and haven't been for a long time?

so excuse me for trying to find somewhere to express myself, thanks a lot.

LegacyUser

FearDark wrote: »

Op: I wish i didn't feel so alone. i wish i was curled up with someone right now. i feel so empty and alone. and i don't just want to be curled up with anyone but with someone who really means something to me, and who really wants me more than anything, someone who will hold me in their arms and stroke my hair, and just hold me and allow me to feel loved like i never really do, and tell me that everything will be ok. that's all i want.,

I feel exactly the same... I miss that, want that too.

thanks FearDark.

i don't know if it makes sense but the night i wrote that it was actually as if i was craving that feeling, seriously craving it, i suppose it's possible cos they do say something like when ur with someone it releases happy hormones etc. so it is possible i suppose to crave that feeling.

i only ever had it briefly with someone for a few weeks, and i thought at the time that it was so perfect, which in hinesight it probably wasn't, but i'd have killed on monday night to have him there beside me, i miss it so much, but for personal reasons and because of some experiences i've been through it's pretty hard for me to trust someone to be that close to someone, but ya as the previous poster said, i'm sure i'll meet the right person in the end, i'm sure you and we all will, it'll all work out in the end ...

MagicMarker

alone wrote: »

the misunderstanding is not that nobody understand what i'm saying in the posting, i already acknowledged that everyone feels this.

what i meant was that it was the feeling of complete understanding and acceptance by another person that i really miss, the emotional connection, and the talk of cats and dogs was making me feel even more so like that. if that makes sense.

and who says i'm feeling sorry for myself, rather than simply looking for somewhere to express my feelings rather than keeping them in my head.

and how do you know i'm not already trying to do something about it, and haven't been for a long time?

so excuse me for trying to find somewhere to express myself, thanks a lot.

What are you trying to do about it?

LegacyUser

MagicMarker wrote: »

What are you trying to do about it?

thanks but I would be a lot more likely to honestly answer that if it were asked by someone who acted as if they cared or were actually interested, rather than doing it as if I were answerable to you or something.

Night

RedXIV

alone wrote: »

thanks but I would be a lot more likely to honestly answer that if it were asked by someone who acted as if they cared or were actually interested, rather than doing it as if I were answerable to you or something.

Night

While i wouldn't have expressed it the same way MagicMarker did, he has a valid point. we can give you advice or contact numbers at best. the main player here is you. people usually come here for advice and opinions and the main piece of advice i can give you is that it's up to you to change your situation.

PM me if you desire, i'll help if i can

Red

McGinty

but for personal reasons and because of some experiences i've been through it's pretty hard for me to trust someone to be that close to someone,

Hi Op

I think this comment you made may help you understand why you are 1) feeling lonely 2) at present unable to meet someone you can connect with.

I agree that a pet does not fulfill the need for human physical contact on an emotional level. I spent many years being lonely and I had a cat during that time but I will say this, hang tight. Ask yourself what do you want in a man, not an ideal list but more what you seek in a relationship, what behaviour, treatment you would like.

Then I would explore the intimacy issues you mentioned above, you said you have difficulty trusting due to past issues, I had a similar problem and for me group therapy helped me to release that emotional baggage, whilst learning to trust and love myself. The thing is love cannot come your way until you trust and love yourself. Having done huge amounts of personal work I am in a lovely, genuine relationship with a man that totally accepts me, it feels wonderful but it is only because I now value myself and was able to let love and trust in. Love cannot survive where there is distrust and fear, because eventually the fear and distrust kills all the good. Use this alone time to learn more about yourself because irrespective of who you meet in the future you are stuck with yourself so you may as well learn to like yourself.

econ08

Alone, I'm not sure there is a straight forward solution to this. Feeling very lonely and isolated can often be a person's perception rather than their actual circumstances. Like some posters pointed out you could feel alone in a room full of people. When someone gets depressed they often feel very lonely and isolated. In a severe depressive episode it does not matter how much love and support the patient gets from family, friends, spouse, etc nothing will reach them until the medication brings them around or the episode runs its course. Do you suffer from low mood? It is one possible explanation for feelings of chronic lonliness and feeling 'empty'.

af_thefragile

There seem to be a lot of people who feel alone and lonely (myself sorta included)...
What about a thread where everyone who feels this way can like post in and maybe meet up someone who's looking for the same thing.

Like not a dating thing. Ya know, just people who are alone/lonely can maybe PM eachother, organise days out n ya know find someone to mess around with and find that connection... Like its probably gonna be similar to the Boards Beers nights n out. But maybe there are people who don't feel comfortable in big group night outs and might wanna organise something little on their own... People who feel the same way about life n can contact similar people looking for the same thing on their own terms.

And if not that, people could just help eachother out with their lonelyness and share stories/experiences about how they overcame their lonelyless and probably just anything...

The internet is meant to bring people closer. Not alienate them more.

So anyone else think it might be a good idea??

RedXIV

af_thefragile wrote: »

There seem to be a lot of people who feel alone and lonely (myself sorta included)...
What about a thread where everyone who feels this way can like post in and maybe meet up someone who's looking for the same thing.

Like not a dating thing. Ya know, just people who are alone/lonely can maybe PM eachother, organise days out n ya know find someone to mess around with and find that connection... Like its probably gonna be similar to the Boards Beers nights n out. But maybe there are people who don't feel comfortable in big group night outs and might wanna organise something little on their own... People who feel the same way about life n can contact similar people looking for the same thing on their own terms.

And if not that, people could just help eachother out with their lonelyness and share stories/experiences about how they overcame their lonelyless and probably just anything...

The internet is meant to bring people closer. Not alienate them more.

So anyone else think it might be a good idea??

How the hell does everyone miss my sig?????

Thats the point of my proposed forum!!!!

af_thefragile

RedXIV wrote: »

How the hell does everyone miss my sig?????

Thats the point of my proposed forum!!!!

where is you sig???

RedXIV

It's the bit beneath my posts. you might have to enable it in your CP.

regardless, THIS is the link you want

LegacyUser

alone wrote: »

.......i don't know if it makes sense but the night i wrote that it was actually as if i was craving that feeling, seriously craving it, .............

i only ever had it briefly with someone for a few weeks, and i thought at the time that it was so perfect, which in hinesight it probably wasn't, but i'd have killed on monday night to have him there beside me, i miss it so much,

Anyone who's had it wants it....we have it when we're babies (if we come from half decent families) which is how 'kissing things better' helps children. We're programmed to it, like chimps provide it amonsgt themselves by grooming each other.

I'm 50, I'm single, I have a job I love, I earn decent money, I have children, I have a decent social life and supportive friends that I can turn to. But still I'd love to have someone to hug me and caress me. Mind you, I've sometimes felt that way in a successful long-term relationship too! Coupledom doesn't *always* provide that!

af_thefragile

^Aah, i probably don't have sig's enable thats why i can't see any.

But yeah, good to know i'm not the only with with this idea. It should work pretty well imo...

And btw, how do u enable the sigs??
Sorry for the offtopicness....!

yermandan

McGinty wrote: »

Hi Op

I think this comment you made may help you understand why you are 1) feeling lonely 2) at present unable to meet someone you can connect with.

I agree that a pet does not fulfill the need for human physical contact on an emotional level. I spent many years being lonely and I had a cat during that time but I will say this, hang tight. Ask yourself what do you want in a man, not an ideal list but more what you seek in a relationship, what behaviour, treatment you would like.

Then I would explore the intimacy issues you mentioned above, you said you have difficulty trusting due to past issues, I had a similar problem and for me group therapy helped me to release that emotional baggage, whilst learning to trust and love myself. The thing is love cannot come your way until you trust and love yourself. Having done huge amounts of personal work I am in a lovely, genuine relationship with a man that totally accepts me, it feels wonderful but it is only because I now value myself and was able to let love and trust in. Love cannot survive where there is distrust and fear, because eventually the fear and distrust kills all the good. Use this alone time to learn more about yourself because irrespective of who you meet in the future you are stuck with yourself so you may as well learn to like yourself.

OP,

First of all I can relate to all that you are saying and in spite of magicmarker's style of advice giving, he does understand you aswell and wants to help you in a particular way.

I was gonna write a long post about hw you can help yourself then I read McGinty's post above.

Read it and re-read it until you feel that you have a clear understanding of what it says.

Best of luck

-Dan:cool:

watsgone

Hi alone,

I hope you are feeling a bit better.
I dont usually post in here but here goes. It is a strange and powerful feeling to be alone. I dont know if I am right here but it sounds like you are still griveing the loss of that relationship you had.
And yes I did mean to say grieving, it takes time and time to get over a loss like that.
I dont know exactly what you are craving, but would I be right in thinking you want someone to understand the hurt, someone who who will comfort you and someone who will tell you its going to be ok( even if they dont know that, you just need to hear it).

From experinece I know its so tempting to go looking for that or just physical comfort in all the wrong places, do though go and find a friend or someone you trust to talk to.

Talking will help make things clearer.

Take care

MagicMarker

alone wrote: »

thanks but I would be a lot more likely to honestly answer that if it were asked by someone who acted as if they cared or were actually interested, rather than doing it as if I were answerable to you or something.

Night

If i was a heartless bastard then i wouldn't be replying at all. I'm just not one for sugar coating things. So you can think what ever you like about what i've said, doesn't mean i'm wrong.

You're in full control of the situation at hand, you can choose to let it bring you down, or you can choose otherwise.

af_thefragile

Ya know, if you're an artist, writer or a musician, you can actually take great advantage of the lonely (and if you're not, you could think bout becoming one!).
Like you're sorta on a creative high when you're alone and stuff...
I've written some of the best songs and poems while i was feeling a little down n lonely. It really gives your mind the time to imagine and work on your thoughts and feelings. Let them flow through the pen and wrap them in words and notes.

Writing really helps you make something good out of those strong emotions you feels during these times. Like even if you're not a musician, you could write a journal or maybe a story/novel. Post it on the internet to see what people think bout it. Or maybe start writing poems. It really gives your emotions an outlet and prevents you from botteling it all in and eventually breaking down.

Just a thought you know for one of those nights where you've got no one to speak to and things don't quite seem right. You can always pick up a pen and paper and let your thoughts and feelings flow onto the blank page before you. Fill it up with life. A part of you. Watch it create into something beatiful or just a piece of art or just a reflection of emotions. You can collect it and someday go through it and appreciate the talent in you.

ANd it also releves the stress. After you've written something good. It makes you feel good. You get a little sense of acomplishment and can realise your life isn't that empty after all!

Just an adverse effect of this could lead you to start craving the loneliness. Like I do sometimes. Cuz you can't wait to get back into that room with your working stuff n create something magnificient again...!