My dog is afraid of me :(

arybvtcw0eolkf

Well regular's here know 'Jericho' by now I'm sure (he's a staffie) and the friendliest dog ever.

He loves everything, he loves children, other dogs and cats and life in general, but he's scared of me

Although I'm very gentle with him, I'm a gentle & softspoken person in general. I've never been rough with him, or had to displine him too harshly.

But he's genuinely scared, he show's it mostly when he's coming into a room where I am, or approaching me (the head drops and the tail goes between his legs). Or if I approach him too fast, the same happens or he squats down.

For the last 10 days he's been chewing on his leg, and has given himself a bald patch. Which I'd read can be from stress, so I took him to the Vets this morning - it turns out it was a cut which he made worse until it got infected.

So I mentioned the stress issues to the Vet, but he said 'Richo appear's in fine health.

Has anyone here had any experience of this.. Its stressing me a little as I feel sorry for the poor guy.

peasant

Regulars would also know that you're quite an imposing figure yourself ..this might be were the issue lies.

At some stage during Jerichos upbringing you probably had to get a bit loud and overbearing with him and gave him a right fright which sits with him to this day.

My recommendation would be to spend as much time with him on his level as possible ...ie. on the floor.

Sit or lie down when you're playing with him ...and let him win sometimes.

After that, just give it time.

arybvtcw0eolkf

peasant wrote: »

Regulars would also know that you're quite an imposing figure yourself ..this might be were the issue lies.

At some stage during Jerichos upbringing you probably had to get a bit loud and overbearing with him and gave him a right fright which sits with him to this day.

My recommendation would be to spend as much time with him on his level as possible ...ie. on the floor.

Sit or lie down when you're playing with him ...and let him win sometimes.

After that, just give it time.

Actually I was hoping you'd come in as you always appear to have a handle on dogs behaviour.

I'd considered that (the imposing figure) posibility, I had a cat who acted more or less the same. At the time the Vet said that I'm a very dominant male presence and some male animals can react strong to that in a house as the animal consider's this to be his territory.

Lately I've started to be a lot more gentle with him when we grapple (rolling around the bed/garden/floors).

lightening

Probably your size compared to everyone else. I have seen you on Portmarnock beach when I was out surfing...

It could have something to do with whatever happened before you every got him. Maybe the "man of the house" was a bit over the top with him as a pup. You are in that position now and he might expect the same treatment and is a bit nervous.

peasant

Another thing is to watch yourself if and when you have to correct him.

Standing over the dog and talking down to it is a threatening gesture to the dog anyway, if that threat emmanates from a big, hulky guy it might be quite frightening for him.

So, when you have to get firm with him, try to do it from a different angle or from a distance. You have his respect anyway, so there should be no need to ram it down his throat.

Also, to gain his trust, make it your business to praise him regularly.

What works really well to release tension is a quick "good boy" after he's done what he was told to do, even if you had to get loud(er) to get him to do it in the first place.

Another thing regarding "the rulez" is not to spell everything out all the time.
By now he should know pretty well what is and isn't expected of him. So instead of barking orders after him, try to work with looks and gestures to steer him. This would involve a certain element of him having to figure out what he's supposed to do instead of just following orders. That would boost his confidence, especially when he gets praise afterwards for having done it correctly.

~Thalia~

Never seen or met you Mairt but now I have mental pictures of a MASSIVE action man!

Anyway, my dog is like this with my Dad, she has no reason to be but she is. I mentioned it to the vet last time she was in for her shots and he said best thing to do is to keep her exposed to him but at her level as Peasant mentioned, so when you play with him maybe get down on your knees so you are more or less on his level esp if you are a very big man.

I know from reading here that you got him as a small puppy but are you aware of anything that may have happened to him in his life before ye took him in? Could it stem from that?

arybvtcw0eolkf

Thanks guys, all good points and worth taking into consideration.

I'll be more considerate in imposing upon him, ie friendly from a bigger distance etc.

I'm actually a huge softie with him, even my family this its hilarious when I call him over "Come 'er son''.

Sometimes I wonder is he trying to make me feel guilty for something!.

Oh Thailia re. his treatment before I rescued him.

I'm not sure if I posted this story here, or with the guys on DiD.org (old forum).

But before entering the pound he had been thrown into or onto/at a fire. His whiskers were all burned off, his ear's were slightly burned (the tips), but his belly and pads (on his paws) were burned raw.

He was approx ten weeks old when I rescued him. I asked the Vet were they sure he'd been treated like this as I'd heard puppies paws can get burnt from the amonia in pee if they're keep in poor conditions - the Vets said this wasn't the case.

[Lightening you must PM sometime when your going surfing again on Portmarnock and we can hook up, I see a wind surfer there regularly, maybe thats you?].

Regards guys, and thanks again

peasant

Mairt wrote: »

Sometimes I wonder is he trying to make me feel guilty for something!.

Not exactly guilty, but he's trying his best to appease you. (even before he's actually done anything)

This doesn't necessarily mean that he is afraid of you (in the sense of nervous wreck afraid), but he certainly doesn't want to be on the wrong side of you.

Wouldn't worry too much about it though. Our little cheeky terrier isn't really afraid of anything, but on the few occasions when I had to read her the rules, she was cowering and acting as if all I ever did was beat her up all day.

LovelyTom

My dog is the same with my dad. But when I tell my dad to get down on the floor and play with him and laugh with him he's a different dog with him. I find that if my little guy is ever wary of someone that they just have to laugh and speak soothingly towards him while still being commanding and then tell him how much of a good boy he is.

What works for my dad too is to take his toy or chewy treat away from him when he's playing and then hold it above him and make him do some tricks and then give the toy back and play with him for a bit. He loosens up straight away after that.

You could give it a go.

Best of luck.

lightening

Mairt wrote: »

[Lightening you must PM sometime when your going surfing again on Portmarnock and we can hook up, I see a wind surfer there regularly, maybe thats you?].

Just back from there! I am usually the poor lone surfer spluttering and coughing on his hands and knees on the beach, red blue and white surf (wave) board.


I'd say Peasant is right, annoyingly as usual. Your the dominant figure, the dogs just trying to be on your best side all the time. Terrible about being thrown in to a fire as a pup, amazing that people can do things like this. I'd like to neuter them during spay week.

peasant

lightening wrote: »

I'd say Peasant is right, annoyingly as usual.

Ahhhh ...a compliment ...

*wipes tear from eye*

lightening

peasant wrote: »

Ahhhh ...a compliment ...

It had to be barbed, this is after all boards.ie

Puddleduck

Im not a dog expert, but Id disagree with when your playing to let the dog win, I think this will confuse the dog. Right now your top dog, Id say hes nervous of your size. I have a dog that was rescued that was terrified of men, but he came round. Id say dont cuddle or wrestle with him too much. Just sit quietly in a room with him sometimes while he does his own thing, let him come round on his own, dont try cuddling him like you would with a child when hes afraid, just a quiet 'easy boy' and then do whatever your doing. Just my 2c

Intothesea

Another little technique you could use
is to start a game on the floor with him
(fetch etc, a non-contact game) and
as you play (and he's engrossed) slowly
raise yourself to your full height.

Being able to understand and comply with
your clear rules gives a dog trust and comfort
in your leadership, and in that sense extra
softness with him might be counter
-productive.

Congrats on the rescue, it's always badly
needed.

wyk

The dog obviously sees you as the dominant/alpha/insert leader-synonym here. When you approach him, you probably try and calm him down. All this does is reward the submissive behaviour. Just act natural, don't raise your voice unecessarily, and do not reward the behaviour with petting or calming assurance. Just act as if it's perfectly OK for the dog to be near you, do not look him in the eyes too much, and nearly ignore him - as though he's supposed to be in the room, and it isn't a big deal. Eventually he will be comfortable around you once he knows you don't mind his presence.

WYK
.

luckat

You might also try clicker-training, so that he learns that when he does what you want, he gets treats and praise. So he has power over you

I've just clicker-trained a cat I'm minding (and will probably end up keeping) to "Sit", because she's a big scaredy-cat.

In relation to the playing-to-win and playing-to-lose biz, Temple Grandin, an autistic woman who's one of the world's great animal behaviour scientists, writes that observation of dogs playing among themselves shows that dominant dogs often let other dogs win a game of tug, and it doesn't change the relative position of the two dogs in the pack. Apparently dogs can tell what's a joke and what's serious.

Nothingcompares

Perhaps Jericho is a mammy's boy.