Worried about my name on the internet

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I started a graduate degree near a year ago. I miss my buddies from back in Dublin, but since we've all dispersed now, we keep in touch by email.

BUT these so-called friends of mine seem to find it funny that I have a found new-found female friend. They find it hilarious that I, a teetotaller/vegetarian/quiet chap, have moved in with and begun an exciting sexual relationship with a girl of a different ethnicity to mine.

These old sporting pals have, of late, been posting crude messages on undermoderated sports discussion forums about the sex acts they imagine I am performing with her. It has got out of control. These messages are disgusting and degrading, and worst of all, public and easy to find.

I am, to be frank, ****TING A BRICK, that either she or the faculty at my new university will find these messages via Google or some other way. The staff members and my supervisor think I am quite clean-living (as I am) but the over-the-top messages on the chaps have been posting online reveal (and exaggerate) some of my past lapses: drunken nights out, fights with UCD students, one-night stands. The usual.

What should I do? Write angry emails to my friend-tormentors? It would just spur them on. Write to the websites asking them to take my messages down? Confide in the new light of my life? Or take my anger out on the rowing machine, as I have been known to do?

For the moment I've started ignoring my friends' emails but I can still see their latest messages on our old college sports club guestbook and on other website.

I feel a combination of rage, depression and panic.

OK, sorry for rambling. Sometimes I talk too much. Hope you can give me some pointers.

Ned (not my real name)

Nevyn

Get in touch with the admin/owners of the site and ask for the posts to be removed.

towel401

don't confront them. they are just trolls

and you would be feeding them. trolls need food to survive, without food the thing will eventually die down.

Fizman

Seeing as they are old "buddies", I assume you have their numbers?

If it has gotten out of hand this much give one of them a ring and tell him exactly what you make of it all.

What age are they? 14? Seriously just get in direct contact with them, other than email seeing as that doesn't seem to be doing the job! If they don't cop on then I reckon its not worth bothering with them again tbh!

Xavi6

Tit for tat I say. I doubt they'd like it when their 087 shows up on a unmoderated site.

Even better, stick an ad in the Buy & Sell for a two year old A Class selling at a qucik sale price of 12,000 euro with their number on it. See how they like being inundated with calls from punters angry at the false advertisement.

Gordon

Revenge tactics should be kept for AH. Thanks.

MagicMarker

I would email the admins on the message board, after that i would forget about it.

Seriously, why do you care? So what if someone sees this, what are they going to do? For all they know it's a bunch of BS. So what if you faculty see it? Do you really think they'd care?

I think you need to worry less about what other people think of you.

zenith

Unless you've a very uncommon name, you have deniability.

I concur: reacting is probably the wrong thing to do. Let a couple of weeks pass, let it die down, and then get the mods to deal with it when it's no longer teh funneh.

Gumbyman

Every group has a leader. Think who it is. Call him up and be frank and tell him to cop the fcuk on that this is not funny. Don't threaten or anything, just discuss it and suggest that he call a halt to it. In a group he'd probably laugh and poke more fun but face to face he'll most likely back down. Then, once it has stopped, get onto mods to delete slanderous posts.

board om

stop taking yourself so seriously. you seem so intent on making sure everyone knows that you are so straight and so perfect that you have yourslef in a panic at the thought that someone might find out that you actually enjoyed yourself while in college. just relax. you are completely over reacting. i know it is probably a bit worrying that your name appears on some forum but unless it is giving extremely specific details (which i doubt unless you tell your friends intimate details about your relationship) then i wouldnt worry about it. sure who is going to be googling your name? and if they did come across it who is to say it is definilty about you? sure you probably gave more information about yourself in your above post than is on the college forum. and so what if you got drunk, had the odd argument, had one night stand, etc. everyone has done those things. it is called being in college. sure we all have a past. i would be more p1ssed off if someone posted on a forum saying i was a teetotaling, vegetarian, who never did anything, has no life, and is boring. tbh i think you are more p1ssed off at the fact that they have invaded your privacy than you are about what they have written. but its the internet, and you cant stop what people write on it.

and as for suggestions of retaliation, i wouldnt bother. if they are getting to you this much without even really trying, then what will happen if you retaliate and an all out internet war starts? if this worries you now then how worried will you be if photoshop pictures appear on Facebook of you pleasuring a donkey. do you know what i mean? if you make a big deal about this, then so will they.

just chill and enjoy your relationship. you have nothing to worry about

IrishMike

board om wrote: »

stop taking yourself so seriously. you seem so intent on making sure everyone knows that you are so straight and so perfect that you have yourslef in a panic at the thought that someone might find out that you actually enjoyed yourself while in college. just relax. you are completely over reacting. i know it is probably a bit worrying that your name appears on some forum but unless it is giving extremely specific details (which i doubt unless you tell your friends intimate details about your relationship) then i wouldnt worry about it. sure who is going to be googling your name? and if they did come across it who is to say it is definilty about you? sure you probably gave more information about yourself in your above post than is on the college forum. and so what if you got drunk, had the odd argument, had one night stand, etc. everyone has done those things. it is called being in college. sure we all have a past. i would be more p1ssed off if someone posted on a forum saying i was a teetotaling, vegetarian, who never did anything, has no life, and is boring. tbh i think you are more p1ssed off at the fact that they have invaded your privacy than you are about what they have written. but its the internet, and you cant stop what people write on it.

and as for suggestions of retaliation, i wouldnt bother. if they are getting to you this much without even really trying, then what will happen if you retaliate and an all out internet war starts? if this worries you now then how worried will you be if photoshop pictures appear on Facebook of you pleasuring a donkey. do you know what i mean? if you make a big deal about this, then so will they.

just chill and enjoy your relationship. you have nothing to worry about

Totally agree.
Get a small grip on reality for crying out loud.
Who will be searching for your name on the internet?
If its annoying you say it to your mates but honestly i think you are making a
mountain out of a molehill
People talk laugh joke and ultimately mock people constantly
Its something that you have to learn to deal with as it happens to everyone

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. The last couple of messages contain some very good advice.

However, I think I will take the advice of the people who recommended revenge.

Can anyone suggest a few things? The 087 idea was good.

I might make some prank calls to these guys' parents. That would be hilarious.

It would serve them right too. They know about my problem with Catholics and are getting me for it. My parents are bigoted protestants and some of it has unfortunately rubbed off on me. But I don't deserve this.

Any more tips appreciated.

"Ned"

dudara

OP, you really should have heeded Gordon's advice concerning revenge.

As I can't ban you, or infract you, this thread is now locked.

dudara