problems in bed

LegacyUser

hi, i really need to talk to someone about my problem because its driving me crazy and making me feel so bad. its about when it comes to having sex with my girlfriend most times i ejaculate about 5 or 6 seconds after we start having sex. I'm 21years of age and this has been happening with the past 4 years on and off. So as you can tell I'm not the happiest when it happens. Sometimes it doesn't happen but most times it does, theirs no drink involved or drugs either. Is it weird that when I'm on top its more prone to happen but when my girlfriends on top I last longer but still only about 2-3min.

I've tried using the Durex performance and they work a small bit better than regular condoms. I'm also wondering would it be to the size of my penis, sorry for talking about this but at this stage i donut care what i say. When its erected its about 4inches but when its not its so small and its embarrassing. I don't know if the length has anyone to do with premature ejaculation or not but I thought id mention that aswell. When it happens I feel so bad and not worthy of being with anyone because I cant pleasure my girlfriend, she says its ok and it doesn't bother her but I know eventually it will and I don't want to loose her over this problem I have.

Ive tried to practice on my own but still I dont last long, i just get the urge to let it all go. I cant stop it from coming out. I think because it I ejaculate so quickly is from all the buildup before we have sex. It really gets me going and sometimes even when we get like that I feel like coming. Im sorry for using words like that but I cant think of any other words. I would really appreciate if someone out their had the same problem as me and has overcome it so he could tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can be happy with myself when it comes to sex. I know after I post this Im going to think of all the things I forgot to mention.

Thanks in advance

Miss Fluff

Don't worry OP, there are ways of preventing this happening, the squeeze method is effective. Read this link and it is explained
http://menshealth.about.com/cs/stds/a/premature_ejac.htm

anthony4335

I did read some thing once by where you can exercise some muscle which will enable you to last longer, by doing butt clinches as an exercise, sounds weird but I am sure if you do some searches on this, you might be able to find out why it might work.

LegacyUser

thanks Miss Fluff for the info, had a good read of it their with my girlfriend. Much appreciated, hopefully this will help me.

Butt exercises sounds a bit weird alright but if nothing works then ya ill try that, thanks again for the info. If anyone else out their has any more info id appreciate it.

cheers

anthony4335

Sorry about the crude therm ,butt exercise. But it was a long time ago that I read that, it was something to do with some muscle that is involved in the whole process, that if you clinch and release as an exercise that it will help you gain control of your ejaculation , it was describe as something like clinching you butt muscles and releasing as the exercise, another thing was to while peeing stop and start at will , I think that it was to exercise the same muscle.

kraggy

anthony4335 wrote: »

Sorry about the crude therm ,butt exercise. But it was a long time ago that I read that, it was something to do with some muscle that is involved in the whole process, that if you clinch and release as an exercise that it will help you gain control of your ejaculation , it was describe as something like clinching you butt muscles and releasing as the exercise, another thing was to while peeing stop and start at will , I think that it was to exercise the same muscle.

Yeah, basically, if you try to move your penis upward without your hands, it's that muscle. Or it may be better put, if I say, the muscle that you would use to stop mid-pee. Your anal muscles will contract too. They're both linked. So that's what that's about OP.

Whatever else, try not to worry about it as you will be more and more sensitive about it the more you have sex.

Also, have you tried **** say an hour before you have sex? You should be able to last longer then and it will do your confidence the world of good and as a result of being more relaxed, you should be able to last even longer still.

It's good to hear that you looked at that link together. She sounds supportive. Keep hope and you both should be having much more fun within weeks.

Finally, have you tried Durex Extra Safe? Because I find them very tight and thick, thus limiting the sensation, thus lengthening the time it takes to cum.

Good luck dude and try not to worry.

Talliesin

anthony4335 wrote: »

something to do with some muscle that is involved in the whole process

Pubococcygeus muscle. The exercises are called kegel exercises. Good for both men and women for sexual performance, decreasing the risk of developing incontinence, and easier childbirth (eh, that last one only for women obviously).

tonyinuae

Let's not discount possible psychological reasons for this problem - surely more likely than an actual physical malfunction, I think.

Premature ejaculation can often be caused by anxiety linked to low self-esteem. For example, in this case, anxiety about penis size and being 'unable to pleasure' your girlfriend (although from what you say, the foreplay appears to be good, which is a real plus).
The size of the penis bears no relation to length of time before ejaculating, but worrying about it does.

The more the problem occurs, as so often with sexual performance problems, the more difficult it is to overcome, as it's a downward spiral of performance anxiety being reinforced by recurrence of the problem.

I think the best thing to do in this case, if the problem doesn't get any better, is to see a sexual therapist. It's a very common problem, and you are lucky to be in such a supportive relationship - with your girlfriend to offer you her loving support, you will certainly beat this!

DinoBot

Good advice from everyone.

Have you tried mates condoms ?

Mates Endurance condoms contain a special lubricant that helps to control climax and prolong male sexual excitement, giving extended pleasure to both of you!

Get them in boots.

http://www.condomcare.co.uk/html/mates-endurance.htm