Zombie love: Necrophilia or not?

Roen · 24-05-2008 4:09pm #1

While I'm not sure if I'd trust one with my lad in their mouth and paper bags would come in handy, could boofing a zombie be considered necrophilia?

I mean they're not actually dead so what do you reckon? I'm worried in case I get.....stuck....and Copper face Jacks is closed.

armour87 · 24-05-2008 4:22pm

Zombie sex = Necrophelia

My love for a zombie is more like an attachment, like the love of a sandwich, or dog.

Roen · 24-05-2008 4:41pm

But that's the rub......are they considered dead in the first place? If they are dead then necrophilia it is, if they're re-animates or what ever then it doesn't count surely.

armour87 · 24-05-2008 4:51pm

Listen Roen, it's okay if you like a zombie in that way. Don't let this forum hold you back, or let it validate your feelings for you. Your feelings are real. Get out there, text that zombie and see where things go.

Roen · 24-05-2008 6:29pm

Well I would but they're kind of low on manual dexterity. I could be waiting weeks for a reply.

metalscrubber · 24-05-2008 6:35pm

Simply the best thread i have ever read

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 24-05-2008 6:37pm

Roen wrote: »

Well I would but they're kind of low on manual dexterity. I could be waiting weeks for a reply.

If he gets her preganant and she goes for an abortion, is it a sin? I mean, is takign the life of an unborn undead umholy?

Holsten · 24-05-2008 6:38pm

Yes I'm afraid that Zombie love is 100% Necrophilia, since they are dead.

Mena · 24-05-2008 6:42pm

Holsten wrote: »

Yes I'm afraid that Zombie love is 100% Necrophilia, since they are dead.

Zombie's are undead, not dead. Ergo, not necrophelia and as such, just fine. I'll be getting me some of that action!

Jimbo · 24-05-2008 6:51pm

I'd recommend wearing a johnnie though

Fajitas! · 24-05-2008 8:37pm

jimbo78 wrote: »

I'd recommend wearing a johnnie though

Or seven.

And a bin liner.

Doctor DooM · 24-05-2008 9:35pm

What if shes pregnant and then gots zombified? Yurch

Dave! · 25-05-2008 1:06am

I'm pretty sure this is covered by the Criminal Law (Zombie) Act 1991:

3.--(1) Any person who has carnal knowledge of a zombie shall be guilty of an offense and shall be liable on conviction on indictment--

(a) to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 5 years

(2) It shall be a defence to proceedings for an offence under this section for the defendant to prove that he honestly did not know that the victim was in fact undead.

(3) It shall further be a defence to proceedings for an offence under this section if the defendant is also undead.

Roen · 25-05-2008 11:46am

Cheers for clearing that up Dave, the "I didn't know" defence has got me out of trouble no end of times.

Don't worry lads. I know the Zompocalypse is a worst case scenario (although it will happen). And I'm only trying to cover myself in a worst worst case scenario.

Of course I'd wear a condom. I mean the only thing worse than a zombie is a zombie with STD's. Poor thing.

Nerin · 25-05-2008 4:29pm

Mena wrote: »

Zombie's are undead, not dead. Ergo, not necrophelia and as such, just fine. I'll be getting me some of that action!

right, just like doing vampires

Holsten wrote: »

Yes I'm afraid that Zombie love is 100% Necrophilia, since they are dead.

nope

SDooM wrote: »

What if shes pregnant and then gots zombified? Yurch

impossible, zombies cannot reproduce sexually. like certain vampire breeds.

Interceptor · 26-05-2008 11:15am

Eh, I'm new here and this intrigues me. In all of the considerations for boinking a zombie (I've slept with the undead/almost dead myself so I'm not judging anyone) could someone tell me whether zombies are hot or cold-blooded and as such would the *ahem* object of your affection be warm to the touch, or like a LIDL chicken just out of its packet?

Necrophilia is cool, well cold actually...

Thx,

'cptr

StormWarrior · 26-05-2008 1:58pm

I am sure they would be ice-cold to the touch. That is part of the attraction for me. I do not consider zombie love to be necrophilia. I mean, the zombie doesn't just lie there, you know. Anyway, nothing wrong with necrophilia. This picture really gets me going:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/59/DawnOfTheBlackHearts.jpg

You would not believe how many times I've wanked myself off after looking at that.

Interceptor · 26-05-2008 3:51pm

StormWarrior wrote: »

You would not believe how many times I've wanked myself off after looking at that.

On a need-to-know basis, I didn't need to know that...

'cptr (Not coming back in here to Zombie-land again...)

Nerin · 26-05-2008 3:53pm

StormWarrior wrote: »

I am sure they would be ice-cold to the touch. That is part of the attraction for me. I do not consider zombie love to be necrophilia. I mean, the zombie doesn't just lie there, you know. Anyway, nothing wrong with necrophilia. This picture really gets me going:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/59/DawnOfTheBlackHearts.jpg

You would not believe how many times I've wanked myself off after looking at that.

and with that thought, Nerin valiantly hits the unsubscribe from thread button.

SuperSean11 · 26-05-2008 4:09pm

Nerin wrote: »

impossible, zombies cannot reproduce sexually. like certain vampire breeds.

Lets be realistic as if vampires are real:p

Nerin · 26-05-2008 6:43pm

SuperSean11 wrote: »

Lets be realistic as if vampires are real:p

<_<

>_>

O_o

ehhh...yes.
apologies,i forgot i was in a zombie forum,how silly of me

KrustytheLegend · 30-05-2008 6:02pm

Would zombieitis be like AIDS? What I mean is, would you be more likely to catch it if you took her up the ass than the gee?

Also BJ's are obviously out of the question, but is it too risky to give her a face like a painters radio?!?!?!?!

It's obvious to me that zombie love would in fact be the only option. Lets be honest. My wife is built like a girl, runs like a girl, fights like a girl.... In fact she is a girl. There is no way she will survive Z day. Being realisitc only men and lesbians are likely to survive and will make up 95% of the population. After six months or so holed up in Antrim Road RUC Barracks it's inevitable that I will lower a rope over the wall and try to snare the hottest zombie chick available (unfortunately as anyone for North belfast knows finding a hot chick, even a zombie, is almost impossible). However on the morality side is zombie love akin to rape? She won't be saying no but would need to tied down which which would make me think it's 50/50.

Lastly if you did reach a zombie free area with your new "bride" tied and muzzled is using a zombie as a sex toy against the European convention for human rights? What I mean is will you be arrested?!?!?!?!

Zombie love: Necrophilia or not?

Comments