A LONG RANT about mother in laws!!

nataliehun

ok so wat is the story in mother in laws???

seceriously...

MY xs mother is starting to be a sterotypical mother in law..
why do they feel the need to express there opinion for everything to do with my daughter (YES MY DAUGHTER, NOT HERS. AS SHE LIKES TO ACT)..because of course my way would always be WRONG..

the worst thing is im split with her son but i have always got on really well with her and felt i could talk to her bout anything..but the last few months have been a living nightmare and im constantly biting my tongue (really really hard)!!lol.... she looks ater my daughter if im doing over time and i would leave instructions to do with meals etc and she would totally go against me and do wat she wanted to do..

then her nap time is in the morning ..but no she thinks it wud be better trying to change it the afternoon as its better for her(daughter) but at creche it morning etc..just totally confusing the child..tried explaing to her but she is a very determined mother in law to say it nicely...
.i could go on and on and on and on but just really needed a rant to maybe a few ppl that might understand the annoyance of it!!!

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
lol

please feel free to post any thing u find annoying bout ur mother in law...make me feel a hole lot better!!

rant rant rant rant!

IM PRAYING I NEVER TURN OUT LIKE THIS!!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Miss Fluff

I think it's great that regardless of you and your partner having split up she is there to lend a hand and wants to be involved in her grandchild's life. Are you sure an simmering anger towards your ex is not being directed at her OP?

nataliehun

i have no reason to be angry towards her she has nothing to do with her sons behavour.... we have been split up months now..i would never use my daughter as a weapon in a break by threatening that he or his family is not allowed see her etc.. the issues are between me and x no one else..after all they are her family and they are like my 2nd family..i spend a lot of time still with them..

just like lately she has really just changed..she never questioned the way i bring her up before just of late..

strange behavouir.

cjmcork

I had the mother-in-law from hell - ultimately it killed the relationship
clarification - his unwillingness to stand up to her dictating our lives was her interference

kelle

If you have lots of time, read this Mumsnet thread, it will probably make you feel better about your own MIL!

SarahMc

Pick your battles. e.g. why are you leaving instructions about meals This woman reared a family, and does not need to be told what/when to feed a baby when she is minding her grandchild. That might have gotten her back up.

Having said that, I can understand the nap thing, that might be worth a battle.

chuci

think you should be grateful that she is willing to mind the child when you are doing over time. but the same time if you have gotten your daughter into a routine and she is happy and content then i can understand when your coming from. just force the issue its not fair on the child and maybe just point it out to her.

deisemum

cjmcork wrote: »

I had the mother-in-law from hell - ultimately it killed the relationship
clarification - his unwillingness to stand up to her dictating our lives was her interference

Same here but the father-in-law is even nastier. During his speech at our wedding over 18 years ago he went on about how MIL and himself tried to talk their son out of marrying me. It's really shocking to see it on video.

They were nasty to me until I finally had enough and hubby and I separated after 11 years of marriage but we got back together after 6 months apart. I no longer have anything to do with them, hubby and the boys visit them most weeks.

Nataliehun, I think it's great that you've got a good relationship (on the whole) with your ex's family. I wonder is she afraid that down the line you might want less to do with her family and she's trying to make herself indespensible, maybe she sees you as a strong independent woman who's coping very well being a good mother and fear can make people behave in strange ways.

I agree pick your battles, I wouldn't make much of an issue about the meal but the nap thing is different. One thing about becoming a parent is that you'll get so much differing opinions on all sorts. Everyone seems to have an opinion so the best thing to do is let it in one ear and filter it out the other and don't let differing opinions from your own bother you, just smile and thank them for their advice.

Also I wonder is your way of doing things different from how she did things that she feels her parenting is unintentionally being seen in a negative light. My boys are 12 and 10 and in the intervening years so much of what was considered "best practice" has changed ie 12 years ago the recommended age to wean onto solids was 12 weeks, now it's 6 months. My own mother-in-law was prone to "well I gave whatever to mine and it didn't do them any harm" type comments to the more serious comments about how fussy I was for using a car seat, hello it's the law.

nataliehun

Thanks deisemum

Really appricated your message, least i feel someone understands....

I wouldnt mind if it was just advice every now again but its constant in my ear!!! just so irritating!

im very grateful she looks after a couple hours a week as my daughter enjoys it just as much as im not one to play pull of war with my child..

liked the website up above in one of the other posts! got a lot of horror stories..i didnt feel to bad then!

deisemum

Now you know why I've lots of fillings from gritting my teeth