Share your wisdom with the world.....

Archeron

If you had the opportunity to share your wisdom with the world in a fortune cookie kind of style, what words that may echo through the ages would you offer the masses? Be it the result of your own experience, or shared information, they say that knowledge is power, so let's try and power a small clock with this thread.


For me : Never try to eat anything that is bigger than your own head.


Any insights you would share with us all?

Sherifu

Condoms.

zero19

Don't wipe your ar$e with a hedgehog

Gummy Panda

Man who buy drowned cat gets wet pussy

Thrill

He who laughs last is a bit thick.

trout

Whack yer porcupine at every opportunity, it's worth two in the bush.

Zaph

Don't eat yellow snow

lorweld

Dogs can't look up!

funk-you

Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with stinky finger.

-Funk

Wibbs

lorweld wrote: »

Dogs can't look up!

Yea they can.

At the end of your life when you number your days you will never say "I should have worked more overtime".

You're never fully right, only not so wrong.

The day you give up learning about the world, you're not a part of the world. The day you stop learning about yourself, you're not part of life.

They always look better after a few drinks.:D

trout

And when the pin is released, Mr Grenade is NOT yore friend.

lorweld

No they can't

Due to the construction of a dogs neck and spine, it is physically impossible for them to look upwards. In order for a dog to look up at something high they must assume the sitting position"

Taken from "Dog Training Obedience & Behavior Moddifications"
http://www.about-dogs.com/dog_training_obedience.htm

And it was in Shaun of the dead:p

AckwelFoley

enjoy your pursuits, while taking the time to realise how lucky you are

kenco

Wear sunscreen

Wibbs

lorweld wrote: »

No they can'tTaken from "Dog Training Obedience & Behavior Moddifications"
http://www.about-dogs.com/dog_training_obedience.htm

And it was in Shaun of the dead:p

I'd believe Shaun of the dead quicker but they still can. IE http://animalspirits.ladyinblack.com/images/libwolf5.jpg

No granted thats a wolf, but same diff. DNA 99.9999 % the same an all that. So yep they can look up. Mine's just looked up at me wondering why the fúck I'm arguing the point....:D

Fortune cookie translation? "Dogs may or may not be able to look up, but Fridays can be a slow night on Boards".:D

lorweld

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd believe Shaun of the dead quicker but they still can. IE http://animalspirits.ladyinblack.com/images/libwolf5.jpg

No granted thats a wolf, but same diff. DNA 99.9999 % the same an all that. So yep they can look up. Mine's just looked up at me wondering why the fúck I'm arguing the point....:D

Fortune cookie translation? "Dogs may or may not be able to look up, but Fridays can be a slow night on Boards".:D

Haha it sure can!

seahorse

I have a bit of paper stuck to my bathroom mirror that reads, in capital letters: 'OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF ME ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS'.

I read it every morning. I find it puts me in a positive frame of mind for the day. Not giving a toss about other peoples perceptions is something I experience as an emotionally healthy state. It's very liberating; I'd advise anyone to stick that up on the mirror - seriously!

markos79

seahorse wrote: »

I have a bit of paper stuck to my bathroom mirror that reads, in capital letters: 'OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF ME ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS'.

I read it every morning. I find it puts me in a positive frame of mind for the day. Not giving a toss about other peoples perceptions is something I experience as an emotionally healthy state. It's very liberating; I'd advise anyone to stick that up on the mirror - seriously!

i is thinking you might need to see a doctor;)

MooseJam

the lid of a bic pen is excellent for cleaning your ears

flanum

the magic cream on the end of my knob.. will only be fully realised...

ah ****it, suck me cock!

AlmightyCushion

Toilet duck does not make a good substitute for ky jelly.

JangoFett

Mine would be...

Listen to Jazz

Listen to Tom Waits

Ask that girl out, at least you took the chance in asking her

Being shot down isn't the end of the world

Regrets should only be things you didn't do

Imhof Tank

Beer after whiskey, always risky. Whiskey after beer, all clear

rollie

scratch yourself and drool on the dart...that way you'll always get a seat to yourself

dont read porno magazines, women will never do that for you

mix your drinks its a cheaper buzz

etc.

Wibbs

rollie wrote: »

dont read porno magazines, women will never do that for you.

Clearly you haven't lived.:D

KnifeWRENCH

Don't forget your shovel if ya want to go work...

rollie

Wibbs wrote: »

Clearly you haven't lived.:D

I must be just really bad at negotiating......Ahhh gooo on....

kraggy

Do not directly, nor indirectly, taste your own cum if you've been on the beer the night before.

Dave!

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Never a truer word said.

Caoimhín

Old chinese saying;
Man with erection walking sideways through door is going to Bangcock.

flanum

"trousers first.. THEN shoes"!

Affable

seahorse wrote: »

I have a bit of paper stuck to my bathroom mirror that reads, in capital letters: 'OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF ME ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS'.

I read it every morning. I find it puts me in a positive frame of mind for the day. Not giving a toss about other peoples perceptions is something I experience as an emotionally healthy state. It's very liberating; I'd advise anyone to stick that up on the mirror - seriously!

I agree, but I don't think I need the reminder. It comes naturally to me.

El Weirdo

seahorse wrote: »

I'd advise anyone to stick that up on the mirror - seriously!

Stick it up in your hoop.

SimpleSam06

Your fortune cookie:
"I have retroengineered a virus into the rat population that will make the bubonic plague look like acne, and its set to become airborne in exactly three weeks".

Abi

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Your fortune cookie:
"I have retroengineered a virus into the rat population that will make the bubonic plague look like acne, and its set to become airborne in exactly three weeks".

lol

seahorse wrote: »

I have a bit of paper stuck to my bathroom mirror that reads, in capital letters: 'OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF ME ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS'.

I read it every morning. I find it puts me in a positive frame of mind for the day. Not giving a toss about other peoples perceptions is something I experience as an emotionally healthy state. It's very liberating; I'd advise anyone to stick that up on the mirror - seriously!

Sticking it on the mirror might be a little extreme, but I definitely share your view. You take shit off nobody, and their drivel is just that. Drivel.

:pac:

chuci

always wipe front to back

Adam

chuci wrote: »

always wipe front to back

I feel used.

CathyMoran

Whatever is meant for you won't pass you by - learnt by hard experience. Also, that good can happen from seemingly bad things, you just have to look on the bright side of life.