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Zombie Diary

  • 22-05-2008 3:06pm
    #1
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    As a while back, I reckon one of my neighbours is a zombie.

    My name is Brian, which is a fine name by all accounts, and at my last birthday he sent me a card. It said...


    "Happy Birthday Brain"

    Freudian slip! He's been infected!

    And yesterday he was in the pub, staring transfixed with that empty look on his face. Admittedly he is a chelsea fan, but it's all getting a bit much.

    I heard groaning this morning!

    I think I might be in trouble...


Comments

  • #2
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    SDooM wrote: »
    As a while back, I reckon one of my neighbours is a zombie.

    My name is Brian, which is a fine name by all accounts, and at my last birthday he sent me a card. It said...


    "Happy Birthday Brain"

    Freudian slip! He's been infected!

    And yesterday he was in the pub, staring transfixed with that empty look on his face. Admittedly he is a chelsea fan, but it's all getting a bit much.

    I heard groaning this morning!

    I think I might be in trouble...


    Board up the house a la "I Am Legend" and hide. Before the inevitable happens. He knocks around asking for a cup of BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS.


  • #3
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    chin_grin wrote: »
    Board up the house a la "I Am Legend" and hide. Before the inevitable happens. He knocks around asking for a cup of BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS.

    One of the local dogs is missing. I don't think its because they left their front door open.

    I like my brains, I don't want to have them eaten!


  • #4
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    One of the local dogs is missing.

    are you sure thats not as a result of the local take-away? <cof>sorry</cof>

    Hmm I wonder what would be the scariest Zombie Race? If Ireland becomes zombified (zombificated?) would we eventually skulk around pubs looking for brraaaaaaaaaaaaai-pints and keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeba-brains?


  • #5
    6th
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    Do up some flyers and let your neighbours know. No point you sitting on the info if he's free to infect others. One Zombie neighbour is bad .... lots is worse. FACT.


  • #6
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    chin_grin wrote: »
    are you sure thats not as a result of the local take-away? <cof>sorry</cof>

    Hmm I wonder what would be the scariest Zombie Race? If Ireland becomes zombified (zombificated?) would we eventually skulk around pubs looking for brraaaaaaaaaaaaai-pints and keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeba-brains?

    We'd prob spend the whole time moaning about the English zombies being stuck up.

    Zombalised?


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  • #7
    Ron DMC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,297 ✭✭✭Ron DMC


    chin_grin wrote: »
    Hmm I wonder what would be the scariest Zombie Race?

    Aside from humans, the scariest zombie-creature would probably be zombie Predator, but we should stay on topic.

    OP, try and see if your neighbour has a pulse (no pulse is a sure-fire zombie giveaway), but be careful when checking this. I recommend wearing gloves/ getting someone you don't like to check instead.


  • #8
    6th
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    Ronny Mitchell wrote: »
    I recommend getting someone you don't like to check instead.

    I'll say it again.

    1 Zombie neighbour = BAD
    2 Zombie neighbours = WORSE


  • #9
    Ron DMC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,297 ✭✭✭Ron DMC


    6th wrote: »
    I'll say it again.

    1 Zombie neighbour = BAD
    2 Zombie neighbours = WORSE
    Then get someone who isn't a neighbour and/or be willing to shoot both parties in the head if things turn B-movie.


  • #10
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    but we should stay on topic.

    My apologies, can I blame the excitement of Zombie-threads?

    Hmm, you could check for decaying skin. 1000ft stares. Occasional drooling and staring at your neck licking his lips. Or when one day you get up, open your door and find all your neighbours eating the lost dog in your drive.


  • #11
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    chin_grin wrote: »
    My apologies, can I blame the excitement of Zombie-threads?

    Hmm, you could check for decaying skin. 1000ft stares. Occasional drooling and staring at your neck licking his lips. Or when one day you get up, open your door and find all your neighbours eating the lost dog in your drive.

    He was doing this yesterday. Maybe I should get a politician to check him, no one would miss one of them


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  • #12
    Dinter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭Dinter


    Nothing for it but to drive something sharp into his skull asap.

    Then alert the proper authorities so they can clean the place up.

    You never know you might get a medal for stopping a Zombie plague in it's tracks.


  • #13
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Dinter wrote: »
    Nothing for it but to drive something sharp into his skull asap.

    Then alert the proper authorities so they can clean the place up.

    You never know you might get a medal for stopping a Zombie plague in it's tracks.

    But what if he's wrong? What if it's a David Lynch-meets-tales from the crypt scenario and it is YOU that is the infected one. And these changes and Freudian slips are as a result of your own brain becoming zombificationed-ified-amorphed?


  • #14
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Dinter wrote: »
    Nothing for it but to drive something sharp into his skull asap.

    Then alert the proper authorities so they can clean the place up.

    You never know you might get a medal for stopping a Zombie plague in it's tracks.

    Now we're sucking deisel


  • #15
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    chin_grin wrote: »
    But what if he's wrong? What if it's a David Lynch-meets-tales from the crypt scenario and it is YOU that is the infected one. And these changes and Freudian slips are as a result of your own brain becoming zombificationed-ified-amorphed?

    I'm reasonabrainsly sure this is not the case.


  • #16
    Ron DMC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,297 ✭✭✭Ron DMC


    Dinter wrote: »
    Nothing for it but to drive something sharp into his skull asap.

    Then alert the proper authorities so they can clean the place up.

    You never know you might get a medal for stopping a Zombie plague in it's tracks.
    Just note that you should be completely sure that he's a zombie before doing this. We don't want boards to get in trouble for inciting violence towards non-zombies.


  • #17
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,663 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    6th wrote: »
    I'll say it again.

    1 Zombie neighbour = BAD
    2 Zombie neighbours = WORSE

    Lets hope there are no zombie Karaoke singers on the 30th!!!! :eek:


  • #18
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Ronny Mitchell wrote: »
    Just note that you should be completely sure that he's a zombie before doing this. We don't want boards to get in trouble for inciting violence towards non-zombies.

    They should make a litmus strip for Zombies.

    "There will be no more discussion of Zombie killing on this forum until further notice..." :)


  • #19
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    They should make a litmus strip for Zombies.

    Yep, dip it in and if theres a big bloody bite out of it? Aim for the head.
    "There will be no more discussion of Zombie killing on this forum until further notice..."

    Cr@p! Sorry! Eh, aim for the head with kisses and bunny rabbits. Yessssssssss.


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