Did you all know that god doesn't exist?

Standman

Hello everybody!

Did you know that god actually does not exist?

He doesn't! I know it for a fact!

How do I know this?

I know this because of the personal relationship I have with his non-existence.

Every day I look out my window and see the beauty of nature and bask in in the glory of knowing that behind those beautiful trees, flowers, and butterflies, there is no divine creator. It is such an amazing feeling! I compel any of you who still believe in god, to just listen to what I have to say and maybe then you will be able to view the world in all its glory!

I really pity anyone who has been mislead into believing in god, as I naturally feel such compassion for my fellow man who has strayed from the flock. I wish to guide you back onto the path of enlightenment, show you the way back to reality, and rid you of these poisonous beliefs that are so immoral in my view.

I really cannot understand how you can still believe in god, when the evidence is all around you blantantly proving the contrary!
If you would just open your eye's to natures beauty you would realise that there absolutely no way that this could have happened on purpose. Just look at the human eye! Do you honestly expect me to believe that this was designed by a holy ghost? And what about the venus fly trap? That plant is an asshole! Why would a loving god make such a bitch of a shrub? No, it is plainly obvious that there is no god, and anyone who says otherwise is just delibirately ignoring the glory of the world that we live in.

Now, you may ask," But alas my dear friend, how could you possibly claim to know that the non-existence of god is factual?". Well that is an easy one! It is true because I believe it's true. I don't need to provide any evidence, because to say that I am wrong is a display of a complete lack of respect for my beliefs. How dare any of you say that god exists? He plainly doesn't, and I take huge offence to anyone who attacks me for expressing what I believe in, and what is my motivation to live a good and moral life.

The end, CHECK-MATE.

helimachoptor

+1

BJC

+1 Gotta love satire

AtomicHorror

Is he having a go at the theists, the atheists, or both? It's a veritable satire suicide bomb in a public market filled with the faithful and vehemently anti-faithful. The carnage. Thankfully, as an agnostic, I survive unscathed.

I agree though, the venus fly-trap is an asshole.

marco_polo

AtomicHorror wrote: »

I agree though, the venus fly-trap is an asshole.

Having seen Attack of the Killer Tomatoes I have to disagree.

Zombrex

Funny in the A&A forum - A little pointless in the Christianity Forum (and probably breaking the charter)

all the stars

While i feel a bit the same way inclined as you, i feel that it shant be long til this thread gets locked or moved...

Though i like what you said - its honest, i like that

AtomicHorror

all the stars wrote: »

Though i like what you said - its honest, i like that

It is?

all the stars

AtomicHorror wrote: »

It is?

yes... sound like OP's honest thoughts to me... and even if its not, i like what was said.

kelly1

Standman, grow up! What age are you? 13?

marco_polo

all the stars wrote: »

yes... sound like OP's honest thoughts to me... and even if its not, i like what was said.

You could understand his point? Because I though it was just incoherant nonsense. That or blatent trolling.

AtomicHorror

all the stars wrote: »

yes... sound like OP's honest thoughts to me... and even if its not, i like what was said.

It sounded like sarcasm with an ambiguous point and target to me.

Sam Kade

Standman why did you wait so long to enlighten us with your wisdom?:rolleyes:

Dudess

Wicknight wrote: »

(and probably breaking the charter)

Well I doubt that as it looks to me like he's taking the piss out of atheists, which I'm sure would certainly not be a problem on the Christianity forum.

Standman

Yea I realise this is probably against the charter. After I posted it here I realised it would probably be more appropriate for the A&A forum instead, but I don't know how to delete posts, or even if you can (I'm new to this by the way) although in the other forum they seem to more concerned on whether a venus fly trap is a shrub or a herb.

JimiTime

Standman wrote: »

although in the other forum they seem to more concerned on whether a venus fly trap is a shrub or a herb.

Thats because it was the only interesting topic that came from your post:p

rockbeer

Dudess wrote: »

Well I doubt that as it looks to me like he's taking the piss out of atheists, which I'm sure would certainly not be a problem on the Christianity forum.

Do you think so? I presumed the exact opposite! I thought he was taking the piss out of the kind of christians who claim to 'know' god exists because of their personal experience of him.

Obviously a little on the ambiguous side then.

AtomicHorror

Standman wrote: »

Yea I realise this is probably against the charter. After I posted it here I realised it would probably be more appropriate for the A&A forum instead, but I don't know how to delete posts, or even if you can (I'm new to this by the way) although in the other forum they seem to more concerned on whether a venus fly trap is a shrub or a herb.

A herb? What kinda nutter uses Venus Flytrap in their cooking?

marco_polo

AtomicHorror wrote: »

A herb? What kinda nutter uses Venus Flytrap in their cooking?

I find it give most dishes a real bite.


I'll get me coat .

kelly1

AtomicHorror wrote: »

A herb? What kinda nutter uses Venus Flytrap in their cooking?

LOL Obviously not suitable for vegetarians, BTW

Galvasean

kelly1 wrote: »

LOL Obviously not suitable for vegetarians, BTW

Thats a very interesting point. If the venus fly trap is a plant and you eat it, but unbeknown to you it has eaten say flies, have you broken your vegetarianism?

Doctor DooM

Galvasean wrote: »

Thats a very interesting point. If the venus fly trap is a plant and you eat it, but unbeknown to you it has eaten say flies, have you broken your vegetarianism?

Depends how decomposed the fly is I guess.

Yum fly goo.

Standman

Just to clarify, it is meant to be a satire on how some religious people often argue for their faith... Jeez! It seems a lot of people don't get it, I thought it was obvious but thats just me

AtomicHorror

Standman wrote: »

Just to clarify, it is meant to be a satire on how some religious people often argue for their faith... Jeez! It seems a lot of people don't get it, I thought it was obvious but thats just me

For me, it works as an attack on devout atheists too.

Standman

AtomicHorror wrote: »

For me, it works as an attack on devout atheists too.

Really? I'm can't really see how. I suppose it could just as easily have been written by a religious person attempting to ridicule atheism, but if it was then I think they really would have shot themselves in the foot with this thread!

PDN

As a parody of how some Christians talk it is actually quite inventive. I might just cut and paste it into a handout for some of our youth at Church to encourage them how not to share their faith.

Therefore I thank Standman for assisting us in spreading the Gospel. His point is made and, since I'm mot eager for more pointless discussions on Venus Fly traps, the thread is now locked.