Over-analysing?

LegacyUser

I've been on one date with a guy and well, my head is a bit all over the place. He's extremely forward and showers me with compliments etc, which is lovely, but kind of off-putting at the same time - he says he already has strong feelings for me, which I laugh off and he seems to get deeply offended when I do!

Another thing that's bothering me is that he seems to be struggling financially i.e. he asked me to pay for the drinks on our date, even his phone line had been cut because he hadn't paid his bill. (he's not unemployed, but doesn't earn much and I think he's just living beyond his means) Having said that, he went out and bought a SIM card today!! Part of me is touched by this but another part of me is wondering if he is just out to take advantage of me?! I'm far from loaded myself but am able to pay for drinks

I'm seeing him again later in the week (if he'd had his way I'd probably be with him right now but I told him I need space) - am I analysing everything and being too cynical or should I just go with the flow?! I've never been in a serious relationship and am finding his attention a bit foreign and overwhelming...

Liam Byrne

Be careful, coz what arrives too fast go too fast....

But as for compliments and being nice to you - accept it!

Some girls seem to not be able to handle it.....it doesn't mean that the relationship is the be-all and end-all, just that you like someone.

All that said, take it at your own pace too....whatever you're comfortable with.....there's nothing worse than running at someone else's pace and then having them pull the rug from under you.....

AARRRGH

Go with the flow... but he should pay for the drinks next time.

gamer

so hes bad with money, has strong feelings after 1 date, hes looking 4 sum1 to pay his bills,or hes a weirdo,or hes looking 4 sum1 to take care of him,cos he cant take care of himself,doesnt sound like a good prospective boyfriend.He sounds like an immature loser ,by the way sim cards cost 25 euro ,you get 25 euro credit anyway, meteor are giving away
100euro sim cards.AT this rate in 2 weeks ,he,ll be in love with you.Tell a friend 2ring you after 30mins on the next date,cos you might wanna leave early.A person that careless should,nt need a landline, doesnt every1 have mobiles nowadays.

MagicMarker

After one date this is way too much, tell him to calm down and not expect so much so soon.

Overheal

the_analyser wrote: »

I've been on one date with a guy and well, my head is a bit all over the place. He's extremely forward and showers me with compliments etc, which is lovely, but kind of off-putting at the same time - he says he already has strong feelings for me, which I laugh off and he seems to get deeply offended when I do!

call me crazy but that seems normal; I would probably end up doing something similarly. Theres a good chance he's just a little insecure and does like you and would be nervous about fúcking that up.

Another thing that's bothering me is that he seems to be struggling financially i.e. he asked me to pay for the drinks on our date, even his phone line had been cut because he hadn't paid his bill. (he's not unemployed, but doesn't earn much and I think he's just living beyond his means) Having said that, he went out and bought a SIM card today!! Part of me is touched by this but another part of me is wondering if he is just out to take advantage of me?! I'm far from loaded myself but am able to pay for drinks

No comment beyond the norms really: thats just a bit odd.

I'm seeing him again later in the week (if he'd had his way I'd probably be with him right now but I told him I need space) - am I analysing everything and being too cynical or should I just go with the flow?! I've never been in a serious relationship and am finding his attention a bit foreign and overwhelming...

Okay it sounds to me like he doesnt have a whole lot of relationship experiences which is likely why he's so keen on you? Thats what I would do anyway It will mellow out given a little time I can nearly guarantee. The money thing is his problem, I wouldnt let it become yours; two people can still have a relationship if one/both of them are skint just find other ways of spending your time that dont involve lots of expenses.

RedXIV

+1 with Overheal. Sounds like your guy just isn't used to relationships which is why he's coming off so strong. Probably doesn't realise how uncomfortable it makes you so just let him know. he'll be grateful in the long run. as for the finance things, be careful. If he's living beyond his means he may end up coming to you for help. Try and establish why he's not making the money he should be and maybe suggest a second job?

Best of luck OP

chuci

if you like him cool. but tell him he is coming off a bit strong and you do like him so he doesnt need to try so hard. but the next time ye go out tell him its his turn to buy the drinks or ye each just get your own.

smellybiker

i'd say meet him another time (or maybe two more times) before making any rash decisions, see how he is and how both of you get on!! after a few more dates, you'll know more about him and how you feel about him - then all you have to decide is do you like him enough to help him out with sorting his financial commitments out (not giving him money mind - just giving him advice) or if you think that you are not suited - you know to let him down!!

Sugar Drunk

smellybiker wrote: »

i'd say meet him another time (or maybe two more times) before making any rash decisions, see how he is and how both of you get on!!

i agree give it another date and see what happens. if he asked you to pay for drinks again get outta there your not a charity! Sounds harsh I know but I once dated a fella where this started and I felt sorry for him as he had no money but it ended up with him owing me a fortune and I never got a penny back. he never had money but could afford drink and clothes for himself charming.

valleyoftheunos

If you are already telling this fella that you need a bit of space it doesn't bode well. Give him another date or two and see how it goes but remeber you are not a charity, either with your money or time. Dont continue to see him or pay for his drinks/bills/whatever because you feel sorry for him.

tinkletoes

The boy is obviously just out for free drinks!!! Be careful!!!