how do i change?

LegacyUser

Ok, Im moody. In the mornings. It doesnt matter how much sleep I get, I wake up tired out and moody. I am on my feet for 10 hours per day at work, day in day out, and its wearing me down. as a side note, my bf wakes up at 6am @ weekends as he is so used to being up that time for work, and once im awake i can never get back to sleep again.

The problem is, I hate the way I treat my bf. Its kind of like this cycle, We wake up, I am instantly in a mood because I am so tired, if bf so much as looks at me, thats it, i dont talk to him, am in a huff, and usually in silence on the drive to work, then i will feel guilty all day at work, appologise to him, etc.

the thing is, we have talked about this quite a bit, he says he is ok with it, that he is used to it, and he understands why i am like that, he actually finds it pretty funny to see my "transformation" as i am usually a quiet, laid back person by nature, i never shout/fight etc so i dont understand why i am like this. then boom, i get to work an hour later, wake up a little, then im fine for the rest of the day/night, its just the first hour i am awake.

even though my bf says he is ok with it, i know it must be horrible for him to have to put up with my stupid hissy fits everyday, thats why i am writing this here now, as i need some advice on how to stop being so moody, and more importanly, how to stop taking out on my lovely bf.

i am getting a little better, though bf jokes he will not be coming home from work anymore, he is going to sleep on his desk as it doesnt ignore him!

please, someone, advise me how i can get through this, i hate being this way and want to change it around and be more in control of it.

as a side note, it doesnt matter how much sleep i get, i could go to sleep at 9pm, sleep right through to 10am and i will still feel as tired as i did before i went to bed.

Kevster

Hi,

THe best advice that I can offer to you is to 'break the cycle'. What I mean is, start doing things differently. When we are stressed for a long period of time (due to work, for example), the brain has the nasty habit of doing things the exact same way each and every day. You must counteract this natural tendency and introduce a new pattern of behaviour.

Take care,
Kevin.

wandering_star

+1

Maybe try squeezing in some exercise somewhere, you'd be amazed at how much better you feel. I thought at first it'd just make me more tired, but it actually gave me more energy and it was a good way for me to vent my frustrations. Plus it's a good way of meeting new people too. I know that with long working hours it's hard though, is there anyway you could even cycle to work?

Or if you can change your job...? I know, I know easier said than done. My experience was that a few years ago I found myself in a job where I too was run off my feet all day, doing over-time left, right and centre, stressed, (underpaid and under appreciated too I might add)...I was moany at the end of the day, drained, and I took it out on everyone, especially those nearest to me and as I was tired from work I didn't exercise and I didn't eat as well as I should have and I just turned into a big grump who had to kick herself up the arse and get her self in montion.
If you like your job though...is it really worth it? And if so are there anyways in which you could change things to make it easier on yourself?

Best of luck!

justsomebloke

what you need is http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/23/b/AAAAArfYZj8AAAAAACO5Zg.jpg

but chances are he has just learned to ignore you. I know I do it with my OH in the mornings.

helpmebcalm wrote: »

I am on my feet for 10 hours per day at work, day in day out, and its wearing me down.

Chances are this is could be the a major part of the problem as it maybe time to see if you can get a new job if you feel your job is just wearing you down

MIN2511

helpmebcalm wrote: »

Ok, Im moody. In the mornings. It doesnt matter how much sleep I get, I wake up tired out and moody. I am on my feet for 10 hours per day at work, day in day out, and its wearing me down. as a side note, my bf wakes up at 6am @ weekends as he is so used to being up that time for work, and once im awake i can never get back to sleep again.

The problem is, I hate the way I treat my bf. Its kind of like this cycle, We wake up, I am instantly in a mood because I am so tired, if bf so much as looks at me, thats it, i dont talk to him, am in a huff, and usually in silence on the drive to work, then i will feel guilty all day at work, appologise to him, etc.

the thing is, we have talked about this quite a bit, he says he is ok with it, that he is used to it, and he understands why i am like that, he actually finds it pretty funny to see my "transformation" as i am usually a quiet, laid back person by nature, i never shout/fight etc so i dont understand why i am like this. then boom, i get to work an hour later, wake up a little, then im fine for the rest of the day/night, its just the first hour i am awake.

even though my bf says he is ok with it, i know it must be horrible for him to have to put up with my stupid hissy fits everyday, thats why i am writing this here now, as i need some advice on how to stop being so moody, and more importanly, how to stop taking out on my lovely bf.

i am getting a little better, though bf jokes he will not be coming home from work anymore, he is going to sleep on his desk as it doesnt ignore him!

please, someone, advise me how i can get through this, i hate being this way and want to change it around and be more in control of it.

as a side note, it doesnt matter how much sleep i get, i could go to sleep at 9pm, sleep right through to 10am and i will still feel as tired as i did before i went to bed.

1. It could be the pill you are on or some medication
2. Work; you don't like your job-maybe a change would do you good
3. Jealousy; jealous of the bf-i know it sounds ridiculous but sometimes we are jealous of the OH
4. Relationship issues
5. Underachievement

Right you may not want to accept this now but sometimes the above affect our mental health and reflect on us everyday...

biko

You could try to have a bottle of Fanta (or similar) by the bed and take a swig or two in the morning. This'll get you blood sugar up quickly.

econ08

jsb wrote: »

Chances are this is could be the a major part of the problem as it maybe time to see if you can get a new job if you feel your job is just wearing you down

Being active 10 hours a day would not be unusual for an adult women. Historically in most societies women would have been active this long, raising children and contributing to the work of the community. They would also have had a poorer diet. Therefore, its more likely to be an internal biological problem than anything related to the OP's work, unless of course she is doing hard labour. It could be mild depression causing fatigue or it could be a virus like gladular fever or a sleep disorder. The best thing would be to see a doctor.

tbh

biko wrote: »

You could try to have a bottle of Fanta (or similar) by the bed and take a swig or two in the morning. This'll get you blood sugar up quickly.

unfortunately, if you only have fanta, your sugars will crash all the way back to square 1 after a few minutes.

Overheal

I agree with changing the routine. Anyone will feel like crap looking forward to 10 hours of more crap, sure. But take however you have been waking up and give it a shuffle. Normally I'll just fall out of bed myself and waddle over to college at whatever time but once or twice a week its good to actually wake up, have some breakfast and sit down; and just watch the morning news, it sets you up pretty quickly for listening to people all day long.

justsomebloke

econ08 wrote: »

Being active 10 hours a day would not be unusual for an adult women. Historically in most societies women would have been active this long, raising children and contributing to the work of the community. They would also have had a poorer diet. Therefore, its more likely to be an internal biological problem than anything related to the OP's work, unless of course she is doing hard labour. It could be mild depression causing fatigue or it could be a virus like gladular fever or a sleep disorder. The best thing would be to see a doctor.

or maybe she just doesn't like the job so spending 10 hours on her feet doing it is finally starting to get to her

chuci

op i know how you feel i work 12 hour shifts and at the end of 3 in a row im ready to kill the person who so much as looks sideways at me. but you cant be working every day so on your days off if you wake up with your boyfriend as you said you cant get back to sleep.maybe get up and head for a jog or a walk and have the hour to wake up yourself. that or a big mug of coffee.

HammerHeadGym

Read a book called prometheus rising by robert anton wilson. It doesnt contain any easy answers but it will show you how to change any aspect of your personality. Be warned, it will be hard work but anyone can do it.

valleyoftheunos

OP the thing that strikes me about your post is that you say you are always tired and grumpy in the morning nomatter how much sleep you get. That would suggest to me that you are not sleeping properly, you may have a sleeping disorder, go to your gp and see if can they help you withthis, if they do feel there may be a problem they can refer you to a sleep clinic.

My Father was diagnosed with a sleep disorder and the treatment (very simple) has changed his life in just a matter of months.

Diet also goes a long way to determining energy levels and mood, there are many diets aimed at maximising and improving your energy (this does not mean increased sugar intake).

Zapho

Hi OP, I feel your pain! Unfortunately, I can't really give you any advice because I haven't been able to sort this out for myself either.

I'm usually very tired in the mornings no matter how much I sleep and then during the day there's usually 2 hours or so where I'm useless and can do very little work. In the mornings and during that time in the day, I'm very irritable even though I don't want to or intend to be! (I'm usually a happy, funny, easy going person) And it really frustrates me because I've been mean and angry at previous girlfriends for no reason (as you might expect, I'm single now).

I find that if I'm only moderately tired, I'm easy to be around. If I hit a bad spot, I'm a nightmare to be around!

Now, I've been to the doctor about this, had a full exam (blood tests etc) and am perfectly healthy. My doc has a hard time believing me and the usual response is "Go to bed earlier" etc. At least the one thing we found out is that I don't suffer from obstructive sleep apneoa. Exercise has helped ALOT! I ran the Dublin marathon last year. It definately made a difference. But I'm not right yet.

I think the next thing will be a sleep specalist. So I know what you're going though and my advice is see a GP. Whether they believe you or not doesn't really matter. If you believe its a big enough problem, they have to refer you to a specalist. There are a few of them around the country.

Best of luck to you! Oh and let me know if you find out anything that helps!

-Zapho

LegacyUser

Thankyou all for your answers/advice, i didnt have a chance to respond until now.

ahhh sleep, i remember that!

I did have some really bad personal problems which probably spanned over 2 years, and during that time i didnt really get a whole lot of sleep, i was basically surviving on 3-4 hours per night if that.

then i got this job, and i was staying up until 2am then getting up at 6 to go to work, my boyfriend was the one to tell me to go to bed, and that i needed a routine. so although it was hard (i would lay awake in bed for hours) i have now finally got myself into the best routine that i can personally do, the latest i go to bed now is 11pm, i know, still late, but i guess its better than 2am! so i am now getting at least 7 hours sleep per night.

when i wake up i ALWAYS feel sick, my stomach feels like a washing machine for at least an hour, and i have this banging headache as well, without fail.

i have been to the doctor twice, the first time he told me to go to bed earlier and told me to try nytol, the second time, he gave me a percription for temazepam and even they didnt get me away to sleep.

as for my diet, i hate fast food, so always eat quite healthy freshly cooked food, also no choc/crisps etc.

I also have a child.

so yeah, maybe its just my lifestyle.

I dont really know what to change right now though, there is no way on earth i could leave this job, i would love to, but we couldnt afford it, so i will wait to get a new job first.

i hate myself

Monkey61

hey Op,

I have a feeling that a lot of this may be dietary. It would be a good idea to look at your vitamin B and especially your iron levels. I was permenantly tired for a year when my routine changed, no matter how much sleep I got, but after a few months taking extra iron I felt much better.

Caffeine too can be a killer - so ditch the coffee and the tea. I also had a major problem with tea drinking. Constant headaches between cups.

Also, my girlfriend was very like this- would sleep forever if left and was headachey and grouchy in the mornings. It turned out she had a yeast infection without realising it (as many people apparently do). The yeast culture feeds from sugar in your diet and converts it to alcohol- basically, as the doctor told my girlfriend, she was waking up with a hangover every morning! It would be worth going on an anti-yeast regime for a while to see if you feel any better. There's a lot of information on the internet about this so have a look.

Good luck!

forestfruits

While trying the diet change etc, try getting up before your boyfriend if possible? I cannot be talked to in the mornings moody as hell, dont like anyone even being in the same room I feel your pain. I find if im left alone and dont have to go near ANYONE for about half hr i mellow a bit and become a normal person again!
best of luck with this though