Advice needed

LegacyUser

Hi,

Small background, myself and my wife have been going through some bad
times and then attended councelling. Went well and we have our ups and downs.

About four weeks ago I saw a guy I don't know, on her bebo page. I asked her about him and she said it was a friend of a friend. But it then comes out that she made contact with him through the friendzii app on bebo.

They have been talking via email since then. She said she fancies him but
it hasn't gone any further than a few emails.

I said I thought it unfair to be chatting to a single man while were trying to
sort things out between ourselves.

She said she would break contact with him.

Then I find out she has setup a new email address and is emailing him again. She knew how badly it effected me when I saw him the first time.

Again she said there is nothing going on and she will cut contact now.

Is there more to this relationship then she is saying ? I'm just looking for some advice on this. Am I being stupid ?

easyontheeye

bebo? and yis are married? isn't bebo abit juvenile? anyway nevermind thats another discussion.

I think she is being very sly to be fair. you ask her to stop, she says she will and then she goes sets up another email so that she can continue this? It seems shes more interested in him than shes letting on if shes willing to jeopardise her marriage. btw do you know what the content of the emails are? why she feels the need to talk with some random guy? bottom line is you have to be harder and demand to know why the f**K shes doing it! She has also proved to you that shes dishonest and cant really be trusted

good luck

BobTheBeat

Not at all, you have a right to be concerned as she has already lied to you once.

Its not on that she thinks its ok to initiate contact with someone she fancies. Frankly, I wouldnt be able to stand for that and Im surprised that you have. Ok, you have taken a step towards sorting out the problems by visiting a marriage councellor, but she is negating any positive steps with her actions. I realise the objective is to keep things civil and work on the relationship, but you must not allow her to trample on this.

I would recommend you both go back to accord and talk about this further as its unlikely she will stop judging by her recent activity. You cannot trust her word at this moment.

smellybiker

take it from a gal who's done the dirt before - if i like another guy and get caught - i'll set another up another method of contact that is intended to be hidden from my present bf. if i get caught with that, i'll find something else.

if she's already gone to the trouble of setting up another email address - she wants contact with this person strongly - she might not have met him or done anything with him - but it's heading that way. it's horrible that this is where she is in your relationship - you need to talk to her and discuss where exactly you're going from here. if you don't say anything, you'll continue checking all her emails, texts and you may even start to follow her - you'll get so obsessed - nip it in the bud and take action now

RedXIV

This is def not on OP and you have every right to be concerned. another avenue you might want to explore is letting this new guy know you're aware of him and you are married to the girl he is talking to. If he's any kind of real man, he'll back off, if he's not, well then whats the chances of your wife falling for him?

smellybiker

This is def not on OP and you have every right to be concerned. another avenue you might want to explore is letting this new guy know you're aware of him and you are married to the girl he is talking to. If he's any kind of real man, he'll back off, if he's not, well then whats the chances of your wife falling for him?

even if you talk to this guy and he backs off - the issue is how far is your wife willing to go - is she thinking of straying away from the marriage - has she left the marriage already and you don't realise?? these are the issues you need to resolve coz if she does want to have an affair - and this guy backs off - you can guarantee she'll find someone else!

tbh

you asked your wife to do something. You explained why you wanted her to do it (with good reason IMO). She did the opposite, knowing exactly what and why you wanted her to do. I'm afraid you can't trust her, she's proved that. Whether you still want to work on your marriage is up to you, but in this case, actions are certainly speaking louder than words.

easyontheeye

also dont let her pull the "oh your being dramatic" line or the " how dare you look at my emails" line...you have every right. jesus even i have a sore feeling in my stomach now! :eek:

smellybiker

also dont let her pull the "oh your being dramatic" line or the " how dare you look at my emails" line...you have every right.

if she pulls out any of these lines when you do question her - she's got something to hide - it's the reaction every guilty person will give - anything to deter the attention from them!

do you love it?

you are most certainly not being stupid my god!!!!! you have every right to be hurt.
she needs to get her priorities in line, she is married and therefore she committed herself to you. i know the ole wedding vows dont say anything about emailing single men you fancy on bebo, but its just common sense. youre wifr sounds very immature in my honest opinion

easyontheeye

smellybiker wrote: »

if she pulls out any of these lines when you do question her - she's got something to hide - it's the reaction every guilty person will give - anything to deter the attention from them!

take this womans advice she knows whats shes talking about

sharkie2008

you are not being stupid, from the sounds of it you had good reason to ask her to cut contact. her going behind your back to set up a new email shows a real lack of respect. if there really is nothing going on then why did she lie about it? nothing may have happened but that doesn't mean it wouldn't. maybe you should consider going back to counselling

Plek Trum

do you love it? wrote: »

you are most certainly not being stupid my god!!!!! you have every right to be hurt.
she needs to get her priorities in line, she is married and therefore she committed herself to you. i know the ole wedding vows dont say anything about emailing single men you fancy on bebo, but its just common sense. youre wifr sounds very immature in my honest opinion

+1 - she needs tp get her priorities in order and start taking this marriage counselling seriously. It really is plain common sense and respect for someone..