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i need my boyfriend back :(
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15-05-2008 4:02pm#1Ok I have a huge problem... im MISERABLE....
my boyfriend of a year two weeks ago kissed another girl when he was really really drunk. He is in university in the uk and we both live in donegal where he was when he did kiss her, i was in dublin in school when i got this message from him saying " i think you should know that last night i kissed another girl. i think in my head i thought we were broken up" i then text him an called him asking questions like who it was and all he could do was say how much of a prick he felt like and how awful he felt. i couldnt cope so i got on a bus and was going to go back to donegal to talk to him. when he found i was coming up he flipped out completely but met me all the same. i told him i realised it was a mistake etc... earlier on in summer i had cheated on him at ****** which was very hard on both of us and had taken us ages to work past. i mean i really thought i could get past it. the thing is he freaked out and called me clingy and stubborn and worse things. i was distraught beyond belief. i didnt want to break up with him because i love him so much and i really think he is the one. anyway i acted like a complete fool and called all the time and he wouldnt answer and text constantly and instead just got lots and lots of abuse from him. i couldnt cope at all and stayed in donegal all week and stayed off from school in dublin. i cried non stop. i couldnt cope so a couple of days i went to belfast (another mistake) so that i could chat to him. but he met me only at about 1 in d morning. i went back to his room, and there while he was slightly drunk he told me that he felt like i was a commodity and thats why we werent working etc etc he then hugged me and was somewhat nice. we both fell asleep and then at about 3 or 4 in the monring he got up and we had sex
i couldnt believe it i thought that was his way as getting back with me or something... he got up in the morning to go to lectures and he barely talked to me. when he came back a couple of hours later he asked me to leave and he was really cruel to me. barely talking to me... so i was going to go to the bus and we sat waiting for a while and i was in tears and we were talking and before i left to get on the bus he told me there was a big chance we would get back together and that he "thinks he still loves me"
it gets worse though... i went back to donegal where i cried and cried over him but didnt talk to him for a couple of days. i decided i had to get out of the house so went out with my friends where to my shock he was too. he totally ignored me, i got very very drunk and went to talk to him. so we went outside and he told me he didnt love me , and to leave him alone and that he only said those things to me before i got on the bus to get rid of me. i couldnt believe it... i was so annoyed and upset that i went and poured a glass of water over him and put his phone in a pint... the next day i felt awful so i gave him my new blackberry phone so he could have one. a couple of days ago i asked him why he would sleep with me... and he says "i was drunk... jeeze you r slow" and ive tried talking to me but he says he doesnt care about me or anything... hes just acting so out of character... he told me he hasnt loved me in months but i always really felt that he did.
i know this is a big rant but i dont know what to do... or well it would of been our one year anniversary next saturday and im really thinking to do something super romantic that day like send him a wee text or something. but i dont know... i dont want this to be over for us. i really love him with all my heart. i feel like ive lost everything
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well we are broken up now like, and im still wanting to go to that university. i really like it irregardless of him. its just going to be hard... like im going back home for good 2moro and hes going to be around all the time... im heartbroken... and he just changed his bebo profile and beside his bebo profile theres a caption saying "get yer tongue out for the ladies absolutely heartbroken 0
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well we are broken up now like, and im still wanting to go to that university. i really like it irregardless of him. its just going to be hard... like im going back home for good 2moro and hes going to be around all the time... im heartbroken... and he just changed his bebo profile and beside his bebo profile theres a caption saying "get yer tongue out for the ladies absolutely heartbroken
Oh my god even I hate him.
I hate hate hate when bebo makes u want to cry and u see a photo or something and u just want to like vomit there and then!:(
I know how u feel, and like ur finishing school tomo so obv u have to seriously consentrate and the old leaving cert!!!hello??
I know how horrible you feel, and when i found out my bf scored another girl i had to literally be picked up from my college apartment and driven home to the country and i was in BITS!like didnt eat for days etc
We all go through it, and i know everyone is like "your too young" but whatever who cares what age u are when u feel so hurt??You can still love someone and honestly think that you will be with them for the rest of your life at 18 like.I did when I was 18 and still do 3 years on!!0 -
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I mean i dont even understand how hurtful he can be to me... i mean he knows i love him so much... shouldnt it be the other way around? ok i know he sounds like a complete ass now but he has never been like this before... and in summer i was like that with him but even worse... how can he say he doesnt love me? hes my everything like.... 0
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ok ill not go to belfast... what you think i should do just ignore him now like? i think he blocked me on msn though cause hes on bebo but not msn and hes always on.... like he cried loads over these 2 weeks on the fone to me... how could he be like this to me? he was all like i dont deserve u and all that kinda thing... how can it end like this:(:( 0
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Thats really cruel and do not compare it to "the hills" etc
The poor girl is really upset and i completely know how she feels.
Well to me it sounds like she's the one who invests more in the relationship than what she gets back.
If my GF dumped my phone in a pint or threw a pint over me i wouldn't be over the moon. A blackberry is a nice reward though ;-) perhaps too nice...
From those actions and talking on here, ohmygawd sounds to be a bit of a looper but with a good heart
Probably cares more about him than he'll ever care about her.
My 2c. But you just gotta ask him what the story is, no good trying to guess what he's feeling or what might happen if you do 'x' etc..
Sit down, talk to him, put your cards on the table and make him do the same. It's the only way.0 -
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AH he just left me a message going... whatever you do this weekend dont come here tomoro. you slefish cow. we are broken up, you are the last person i want to see in a long time. we are over, get it through your thick skull. think that more or less answered the question? :(:( 0
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AH he just left me a message going... whatever you do this weekend dont come here tomoro. you slefish cow. we are broken up, you are the last person i want to see in a long time. we are over, get it through your thick skull. think that more or less answered the question? :(:(
Ok only time i am ever going to tell u to contact him but reply to him
"You may be the most pathetic person I have ever met in my life.I actually feel sorry for you that you are missing me this much that you would go to the trouble of writing such an agro message!!Anyway dont worry i will/would never go near u again, and thank god were over, its about time you realised it too"0 -
Ok only time i am ever going to tell u to contact him but reply to him
"You may be the most pathetic person I have ever met in my life.I actually feel sorry for you that you are missing me this much that you would go to the trouble of writing such an agro message!!Anyway dont worry i will/would never go near u again, and thank god were over, its about time you realised it too"
no, no, no... that sounds so false.. he'd see through it.
text him back a blank message, if he replies, tell him that's what you think of him
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no, no, no... that sounds so false.. he'd see through it.
text him back a blank message, if he replies, tell him that's what you think of him (nothing)
No not a blank message then he'll be like what the **** is she at??
I honestly think either dont wb or wb jst being like "ugh whatever im sick of this constant crap so u do your own thing and i'll do mine"0 -
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well thank you but i cant txt him anything seeing as he has my fone xD hahah
but the thing i think will do is not say anything... i dont want to even seem to care at all about anything. not even block him cause ill just not bother like i dont care u no? well like he still has me as his number one friend... dont know when that will change? its so hurtful seeing all these new pictures of him and gawd he looks so hot xD haha 0 -
well thank you but i cant txt him anything seeing as he has my fone xD hahah
but the thing i think will do is not say anything... i dont want to even seem to care at all about anything. not even block him cause ill just not bother like i dont care u no? well like he still has me as his number one friend... dont know when that will change? its so hurtful seeing all these new pictures of him and gawd he looks so hot xD haha
Dying to have a snoop at this bebo of his, i bet you any money ill be like ugh he completely loves himself etc!!
good idea not doing anything, he wont know what has hit him!0 -
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Reading this just makes my blood boil seriously there is no excuse for how he's treating you..especially since you're about to do your leaving. You need to just try to put him to the back of your mind and it will eventually get easier. You really shouldn't get in contact him, to be a bit blunt why waste your time on someone who doesn't want to hear from you..Summer's here and you're single..so go out and have fun and soon you won't feel the pain of this anymore 0
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well im really hopeing we get back together, but im not going to let him think that like xD im not talking to him anymore and im not going to petty about it and delete his number and block him on bebo.... he just took me off his top 16 but i havent budged him.... seriously like it bothered me aat the time but not now ill get by...... hopefully 0
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OP, i had a quick scan through this thread and one thing has stood out above everything else here. YOU'RE YOUNG! you think you're the first person to go through something like this? Believe it or believe it not, EVERYONE gets this at some stage in life. Yeah it sucks but it's a learning curve that will (eventually) make you a better person.
I don't even want to start dragging up the embarrassing memories of what happened to me in LC year with the girl of my dreams at the time but it might help you realise that these feelings your so passionate about WILL pass.
After we broke up (the first time), I was in town (she charitably did it by text) and i went on a destruction spree. Broke a couple of things in the school, shopping centre, my house all coz i wasn't able to deal with these crazy emotions any other way. Tried to ignore the girl but thanks to alphabetical seating in my school, she was right beside me! Was determined not to let it get to me but wanted her back REALLY bad. A few weeks later she said she wanted to try again and i was over the moon.
............SIX DAYS LATER she dumped me again. this time by passing a note in class. I, as my friends said, lost the plot altogether. Got stupidely drunk. thankfully my friends took my phone away from me, otherwise god knows what i would have sent. and admittedly, for another year or so i deeply resented her. And then i hit college. oh my god, the fun that awaits you there lass. I've had more fun in college in my last 3 years than the rest of my life put together. I've matured, kinda, and my emotions no longer get the better of me. I'm even good friends with the ex in this story now coz i'm too lazy to hold a grudge.
Long story short, It's gonna seem impossible to get past this guy, and the "one" thing, yeah thats an illusion, you'll probably have four or five "ones". Distance yourself from him, get a good leaving cert and get ready for college. coz it's a blast 0 -
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I went through a worse breakup exactly a year ago...had been with the girl 2 and a half years. I didn't eat for two weeks after our split. This guy sounds like he is over you, sorry to be blunt. I can't believe he took your phone and I can't believe the things he says to you. All I can say is that time really is the best healer - you need to COMPLETELY block this guy out of your life for a few months in order to get over him. After my breakup I was clinging to the hope that I could get her back but I knew that I was just setting myself up for a fall. You need a distraction, but first and foremost, concentrate on your LC. This shall pass, but you really need cold turkey from him. I am now with another girl who I believe I am more compatible with and who is much more relaxed, cooler and hotter
I read this on another forum at the time and it really helped me, its written from a blokes POV but you can still apply some of it to yourself. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Hope it helps.The fact is, there is no simple solution to getting over someone. Especially if you're the dumped and not the dumper as it implies that you still want to be with that person, whilst she, unfortunately doesn't.
The only solution is time. You have to understand what you're going through is a similar process experienced by those who lose a loved one through death, though not quite as extreme. You have to accept you're going to feel sh*t for a while, but don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault, and whilst it might be difficult to see at the moment, you're better off out of a relationship in which one person doesn't want to be, than in it which in the long run could be super destructive. Whilst being easy to say, you're better off out of it unless you're both 100% committed. She wasn't - her loss mate.
Whilst only time will heal your hurt, there are things which can help. Take control of other areas of your life which you hadn't focused on before - i changed my diet and started exercising more than i ever did, and i'm now alot healthier and fitter. This has 2 advantages - exercise is brilliant for morale, and if you're fitter, other birds will fancy you more! I also stopped smoking. Be around your mates as much as possible, and do go out and get wasted and try and pull, you need to start doing it and its f**king good fun and a whole lot easier than i remembered. Just dance and smile shyly at girls you like. If they smile back you're in. It really is that f**king simple. Remember they're idiots and there's hundreds of them. If you need to talk, talk to a mate, but don't do it all the time, and if you feel your mind wandering back to her, play a song that makes you feel good about yourself, or watch a really violent film, or go for a run. Do something to change your scene and state of mind.
Above all else - DON'T TALK TO HER, NO TEXT, MESSENGER, PHONE, EMAIL NOTHING. You don't want to know what she's doing, and, unfortunately, its easier for birds to get new blokes than it is for us to get new birds. You don't need her in your life as a friend - you have male friends for that.
Now get out there and sniff out some fresh rat
Funny guy, but some good points. You WILL look back on this and realize that he was not right for you!0
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