Annoying boyfriend

kittykitty2

My boyfriend is continually making 'jokey' comments such as he is chatted up by other girls, he will get bjs from other girls, and when I confronted him about it he replied that yes he is a wannabe gigillo. Am I right to think this is unacceptable and that he is behaving very immaturely?

Femelade

Why would he joke about things like that?
It does sound extremely immature..what age is he?
Sounds like a right tulip..

kittykitty2

Femmy wrote: »

Why would he joke about things like that?
It does sound extremely immature..what age is he?
Sounds like a right tulip..

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

feylya

Why would you be immature for dumping someone who annoys you? Sounds like he's acting like a muppet.

Frelance

kittykitty2 wrote: »

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

nope, your being reasonable.

any particular time when he says these things? it could just be a male bravado thing, but you need to make him understand it makes you uncomfortable and needs to stop.

smellybiker

he is behaving like a complete ass - don't take that **** from him. you can either do 1 of 2 things - play him at his own game by making the same jibes back (and i'd only do this if you were very much serious about him) or drop him (i would defintely reccommend this if you weren't too attached to him)

he sounds very immature and needs alot of growing up - it don't sound to me like you can help him mature - that's something he needs to do on his own

kittykitty2

Frelance wrote: »

nope, your being reasonable.

any particular time when he says these things? it could just be a male bravado thing, but you need to make him understand it makes you uncomfortable and needs to stop.

That's exactly what I think it is...but its not on. I think he thinks he can get away with it cos we've been together for 4 /5 months now

Kintarō Hattori

kittykitty2 wrote: »

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

Well I wouldn't go dumping him just yet. Sit him down and let him know in no uncertain terms that you just don't find that type of humour funny or attractive in a guy. If you do like the guy tell him this as you don't want to come across as being completely negative and put him off.

But yes it's not really acceptable behaviour and it is immature.

rohe

he sounds like a right twat

personally i would dump him, he sounds too immature and disrespectful

get rid

jellie

does he do this when you are alone or when there are other people around?

Wibbs

kittykitty2 wrote: »

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

Eh no. Why in gods name would you be immature by having and establishing boundaries?

*Mad theory alert* Now this may be hard for you to do, as you fancy and like him and his actions are in a weird way making you more interested, not less. Sounds mad, but I reckon you know what I mean. Most of my female mates have gone through a "bastard" phase. There are reasons for it I reckon. He's pressing some of the more powerful buttons in you that are attractive in a guy. Things like his confidence and other women being interested. You're going to have to ignore those buttons. They're good features in a guy if he's not going overboard and acting on them to the detriment of you. If you don't think I'm on the right lines then you you would have left him the second he came out with that stuff. A person with a balanced view of themselves and relationships would have.

Now you can try to establish your boundaries. Sit him down and say it once and calmly. If there's even the slightest sniff that he's not taking this on board then walk. It'll do you good and it may teach him a valuable lesson too.

Zombrex

kittykitty2 wrote: »

My boyfriend is continually making 'jokey' comments such as he is chatted up by other girls, he will get bjs from other girls, and when I confronted him about it he replied that yes he is a wannabe gigillo. Am I right to think this is unacceptable and that he is behaving very immaturely?

It is possible that he is doing this because he is very insecure, and is trying to some how validate that he is worth going out with. Its similar to how some guys (and girls) go on about how unattractive they think they are, hoping they will get their partner to say "No honey you are really good looking"

On the other hand he could just be a dick.

Can't really tell from this side of the internet. Let him know you hate it when he does this, if he doesn't stop then dump his ass.

Susannahmia

kittykitty2 wrote: »

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

Lord no, he sounds like a real ass. Why would you want to go out with an ass who annoys you and shows no respect for you?;)

smellybiker

Wibbs wrote: »

Eh no. Why in gods name would you be immature by having and establishing boundaries?

*Mad theory alert* Now this may be hard for you to do, as you fancy and like him and his actions are in a weird way making you more interested, not less. Sounds mad, but I reckon you know what I mean. Most of my female mates have gone through a "bastard" phase. There are reasons for it I reckon. He's pressing some of the more powerful buttons in you that are attractive in a guy. Things like his confidence and other women being interested. You're going to have to ignore those buttons. They're good features in a guy if he's not going overboard and acting on them to the detriment of you. If you don't think I'm on the right lines then you you would have left him the second he came out with that stuff. A person with a balanced view of themselves and relationships would have.

Now you can try to establish your boundaries. Sit him down and say it once and calmly. If there's even the slightest sniff that he's not taking this on board then walk. It'll do you good and it may teach him a valuable lesson too.

yes indeedy - all girls go thru the "attraction to bastard phase" and this could be your phase!! he might annoy the bejesus outa you but in theory, it makes you more attracted!!! don't make sense really but us gals are very complicated!!!

have the chat with him - see what he says for himself - if he carries on, dump his ass and move onto better!!

Oryx

He may be going out with you, but Id see this as his way of saying 'I could still pull, ya know. Im not trapped'. Id be wary, as it sounds to me as if he finds it good to have a girlfriend but at the same time wants to be the cocky free man, and is making sure you know you dont own him. Men who are smitten with ya dont do that.

Overheal

kittykitty2 wrote: »

My boyfriend is continually making 'jokey' comments such as he is chatted up by other girls, he will get bjs from other girls, and when I confronted him about it he replied that yes he is a wannabe gigillo. Am I right to think this is unacceptable and that he is behaving very immaturely?

Is that just his immature-ish way of saying hey woman give me one?

Being 20 myself, this does still sound completely stupid.

valleyoftheunos

He's 20, he hasn't a clue, he thinks this stuff is hilarious, and probably thinks that everyone else including the OP does too.

OP, He is immature and this is clearly a problem for you, unless you are really attached to him I'd sit him down, tell him how immature he is and that for that reason you are dumping him. Then go off and get involved with someone a little more grown up.

Plenty more fish in the sea for you and he might learn a lesson too.

LegacyUser

My boyfriend is 28 and still goes on like that. He does it in front of my friends too. Like he has this ex who he always calls an ugly C*nt, he was on about her the other night for whatever reason, and I said oh is that the mingin one, and he said "she wasn't that mingin when she was bent over" in front of my friend. I nearly died.

A few weeks ago we were out with my friends again and he was making comments about this crowd of teenage girls we saw, wearing matching outfits with hotpants (they were quing for a teenage disco), he was going on about how it was deadly. I was mortified, he only does it in front of my friends, and he knows it pisses me off, its like he is trying to deliberately disrespect me.

At 20 I would expect that sh*t from a fella, but not at 28. My bad luck I suppose.

sharkie2008

he does sound very immature and to be honest i don't think i would put up with it myself. i think if you've already made it clear to him that you don't like it and he's still doing it then you should just get rid. sounds like he has some growing up to do

x in the city

can he read and write to any extent?

Maggie Simpson

Missymo wrote: »

I nearly died.

Missymo wrote: »

its like he is trying to deliberately disrespect me.

Missymo wrote: »

My bad luck I suppose.

Em, no. You have lots of choices. Talk to him, ask him to stop?

Loopy

Sounds like he's saying it purely to get a reaction from you. I think you know what you need to do in this situation.. It's not normal for your OH to say things like this..

smellybiker

Missymo wrote: »

My boyfriend is 28 and still goes on like that. He does it in front of my friends too. Like he has this ex who he always calls an ugly C*nt, he was on about her the other night for whatever reason, and I said oh is that the mingin one, and he said "she wasn't that mingin when she was bent over" in front of my friend. I nearly died.

A few weeks ago we were out with my friends again and he was making comments about this crowd of teenage girls we saw, wearing matching outfits with hotpants (they were quing for a teenage disco), he was going on about how it was deadly. I was mortified, he only does it in front of my friends, and he knows it pisses me off, its like he is trying to deliberately disrespect me.

At 20 I would expect that sh*t from a fella, but not at 28. My bad luck I suppose.

he sounds like the biggest piect of **** that doesn't deserve the soul of your shoe. what do you mean your bad luck - it ain't luck, it's the choice you made to stay with an offensive **** such as him. why do you stay with him - i mean seriously WHY??

Confront him about it. Ask him to stop. Give him a probation period and if he breaks it then you dump him.

Overheal

Hey hey... age != maturity dont throw me in with this guy..

basically if he says he gets jobs from other girls give him the couch and say grand go gettem'. He may change his mind. If he doesnt he wasnt worth it anyway.

IanCurtis

kittykitty2 wrote: »

Yeah but am I being immature if I say 'you're dumped' because of this?
He's 20

I reckon this kind of post cheapens this forum. This sounds like something out of Smash Hits magazine.

Can we not have a serious personal issues forum and exclude this monotonous irrelevant pony and trap?

Feelgood

IanCurtis wrote: »

I reckon this kind of post cheapens this forum. This sounds like something out of Smash Hits magazine.

Can we not have a serious personal issues forum and exclude this monotonous irrelevant pony and trap?

This issue is serious to the OP?. Probably her first real boyfriend and obviously what he is saying is upsetting her, so yeah it is a personal issue to her and obviously important to her.

Why did you even go to the bother of posting a comment like that?.

kowloon

Sounds like someone i know who was always trying to impress people.
OP, your boyfriend is being a bit of a gobsh!te, sit him down and tell him, seriously, what you think about his arsetalk. If he doesn't respond dump him and make it clear why.
You would be doing him a favour as no doubt it pi55es off everyone else aswell. The dumping might be a sharp enough blow to get him to cop on.

DapperGent

Missymo wrote: »

My boyfriend is 28 and still goes on like that. He does it in front of my friends too. Like he has this ex who he always calls an ugly C*nt, he was on about her the other night for whatever reason, and I said oh is that the mingin one, and he said "she wasn't that mingin when she was bent over" in front of my friend. I nearly died.

A few weeks ago we were out with my friends again and he was making comments about this crowd of teenage girls we saw, wearing matching outfits with hotpants (they were quing for a teenage disco), he was going on about how it was deadly. I was mortified, he only does it in front of my friends, and he knows it pisses me off, its like he is trying to deliberately disrespect me.

At 20 I would expect that sh*t from a fella, but not at 28. My bad luck I suppose.

I think he's trying to be funny. I loled anyway.

Wibbs

IanCurtis if you don't like the posting in here, then don't come here or take it to feedback.

DapperGent no more lolling around.

back on topic.

Wibbs

OP and others if you find yourself in this situation then it's a pain, if you find yourself staying in this situation then it's down to you. If someone treats you like shít and you allow them to and continue the relationship on that basis, then I'm afraid you've only yourself to blame.

PS "but I looooove him/her" is not a reason, just another excuse.

smellybiker

Wibbs wrote: »

OP and others if you find yourself in this situation then it's a pain, if you find yourself staying in this situation then it's down to you. If someone treats you like shít and you allow them to and continue the relationship on that basis, then I'm afraid you've only yourself to blame.

PS "but I looooove him/her" is not a reason, just another excuse.

+1

That's the sound of the nail being hit on the head wibbs

do you love it?

he sounds like a right numpty.
dump the chump!

wandatowell

The poor kid is only 20 and still growing up,

Just a wee bit immature IMO

Wagon

kittykitty2 wrote: »

when I confronted him about it he replied that yes he is a wannabe gigillo. Am I right to think this is unacceptable and that he is behaving very immaturely?

I'm 21. I'm a right joker with the other half as well but even I find that saying that to my woman is a bit low. Ask him if he was joking, tell him you didn't like it. If he doesn't stop with the constant monologues on how woman want to blow him off while on the bog then leave him. There's nicer blokes out there. Let him know he doesn't have to be a complete prick to have a laugh with his girlfriend.