think i've made a mess of things

LegacyUser

Ok I started seeing a girl about a month or so ago. At the start it was very chilled out and casual as we’d both recently gotten out of major relationships. Then things started to get more serious and we began to develop feelings more than just friends who were hanging out and seeing each other (this was more a friends thing then a sexual thing) anyways we eventually got to the point where it was a ‘are we actually boyfriend and girlfriend’ stage and I stupidly while a bit drunk said it was and she got really excited and started texting and calling her friends to tell them which freaked me out and I got very pressured all of a sudden. So I freaked out a bit and made a hames of everything. Like we’d always had a kind of relationship which was low key and private and chilled out with a view to maybe developing it as it went on as we both still had some feelings for our exes. But when she started getting all excited I freaked, she was saying the exact same **** to me that my last ex had said about how I was this and that and all I could think about was how my ex had changed her opinion of me betwe3en going out and breaking up. After I broke up with my ex I felt like such a loser and I still have a lot of issues over that and if this girls is basing her interest in me on the same things the last girl did then this is probably going to fail in my eyes.

So I don’t know, I still have a lot of relationship issues and I’m still kinda in love with my ex but I do really care about this girl and I could see it becoming something special if I wasn’t so freaked out but I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to let my past **** wreck something cool but I don’t know.

aye

the new girl isnt the ex.
two different people. she may be getting excited, would you not take that as a fair compliment if anything.
maybe talk to her about it, but just cos your ex did something, doesnt mean every girl is going to do the same thing

RedXIV

of course you have feelings for your ex, every guy does for ages after the end. But you shouldn't let that impact your current relationship and you definitely shouldn't judge this new girl for using the same terminology as the last one? thats like saying, the ex was blonde, this one is blonde, it's never going to work. Take your time and enjoy this new opportunity

melon_collie

It's totally understandable that you have feelings for your ex. It will take time for those feelings to leave. But there is no harm in giving this relationship a chance but you need to be honest with her. The last thing you want to do is hurt this new girl. You need to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. And I guarantee she'll thank you for it. Honesty is definitely the best policy here. But I would say again: don't let any feelings you have for your ex, ruin your future happiness. Best of luck with it anyway. I hope it all works out