Competition time!

Requiem4adream

I've been inspired by Willie's poetry competition so for a bit of craic let's try this out! I'm sure you are all familiar with Murphys Laws (if not, http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-laws.html). Let's try a few original Boards poker ones, i'll get the ball rolling with a try:

Murphy's Law of the River:

With 1 card left to be dealt that card will generally be the 1 card that improves your hand enough to call a bet with but not enough to actually win the hand.

Corollary #1: This card will also usually be the most statistically unlikely card to be dealt.


Winner = $50 on stars :pac:

YULETIRED

Did you dream this up so you could use the word corollary? (i do this also)

Here's two for you Dan.
1. You loan a certain somebody a sizeable amount of dough, you know he will pay it back as he is a decent ol skin and is expected to go on a heater any time now ( by a reliable source) , however the doctor just rang you to say you've only 40 years left to live. (not a true story....hmmmmmmmm).

2. You are playing at a table of degens however there is one really cute babe at the table, you have been biding your time well to feed from the fish and doing well, (whilst enjoying the view) . You get AA on the button.......the babe goes all in., .fkin sods law.. (this is a true story.hmmmmmm)

Iago

1. The card you've been waiting for is invariably the card that your opponent has been waiting for with a stronger hand.

2. When you get all-in preflop with Ax against a PP no A lands on the board. When you get all-in preflop with a PP against Ax an A always lands on the board.

3. Whenever you say "just one more hand" you get dealt a big hand preflop, which duly loses you a massive pot before you finish.

4. When you raise with AA you get no callers, when you raise with 94s you get 4 callers


[size=-12]disclaimer: these may just be laws that apply to me[/size]

califano

I dont get what one has to do? give us an example.

careca

rounders123 wrote: »

I dont get what one has to do? give us an example.

Murphys Law - There is always some gob****e who doesn't understand the question.

careca

Iago wrote: »

3. Whenever you say "just one more hand" you get dealt a big hand preflop, which duly loses you a massive pot before you finish.

Winner, imo.

bops

Murphy's Law of Pocket Kings:

Don't get too excited when holding pocket kings, as you should know an ace will more than likely hit the flop

Corollary #1: when on the rare occasion an ace doesn't hit the flop, don't get carried away, because your opponent probably has two of them in his hand

DubTony

Murphy's Law of Playing With Friends.
When you try to bluff your buddy off a hand but he calls you down cos "he knew you were bluffing" you will invariably be ahead until he pairs a hole card on the river.

Murphy's Law of Playing Against Maniacs.
When the guy re-raises you with junk on every street after you flop a monster, and take all his money, the next time he does it he'll hit a full house on the turn playing 72off just as you push your nut flush.

Murphy's Law of "We have the same hand"
This only happens when you're shortstacked and all-in after flopping tptk. You both turn over your suited AK but 2 of his suit are on the board. He never hits on the turn but always on the river.

DubTony

Iago wrote: »

2. When you get all-in preflop with Ax against a PP no A lands on the board. When you get all-in preflop with a PP against Ax an A always lands on the board.

If you think about this one for long enough, you'll get a head-ache.

califano

careca wrote: »

Murphys Law - There is always some gob****e who doesn't understand the question.

true! maybe i should have clicked the link first. ah i hate having to perform for money anyway(outside of work:rolleyes:)

YULETIRED

Murphy law on FInal Tables

you storm your way to a final table with a good chipstack, playing good tag poker, However the worst player at the table continues to be a total cardrack you bleed chips to him and get knocked out only for him to gets heads up with the 2nd worst player at the table whilst you have gotten rid of the toughest players in the tourny..

Murphy can go fk himself so he can...

big_iain

I have a couple.

1> If you have kk against JJ with a flop A 2 3 rainbow in a showdown. If Someone says they burnt a J. The next card to fall is always a J.

2> The guys that says 'I know i'm beat' tends to always win - well it does with my bluffin'

3> If you have AA against AA in a showdown, you always lose to a flush.

4> The bigstack guy that calls on the river to get a running flush against your A high flush always hits. Twice this has happened to me.

and finnally

The nutz on the flop is not always the nutz on the river.

5starpool

The table tard will always get your stack in some ridiculous beat, then 5 mins later give it all awy to the biggest rock at the table who does a hit and run.

I also agree with Iago no.3 though. Happened me way too many times.

DubTony

When six players call your preflop raise and you flop a set of Aces, it'll be checked to the river where everyone will fold to your 1/3rd pot bet.

This is a true story

The guy who always bets the turn when it has been checked around won't bet when you have a huge hand, and then he'll show you he's folding top pair.

careca

big_iain wrote: »

3> If you have AA against AA in a showdown, you always lose to a flush.

Yep another true one.


I wonder is there a site somewhere called notboards or something like that where they have a good beat section? Lads saying "everytime I get AA against AA I always win with a flush".

KevIRL

Murphy's doom switch Law

Cash out over $1K on any site and then watch as you fail to win anything for at least 3 months on that site


Murphy's new site (online poker must be rigged) Law

After depositing on a new site you are certain to run goot and win lots of monies in the first 2 months. (This obv means online poker is rigged)

ianmc38

Whenever you decide to complete the orbit on each table after a good session, you proceed to get stacked at least once, often several times before the blinds reach you again.

blainj2

ianmc38 wrote: »

Whenever you decide to complete the orbit on each table after a good session, you proceed to get stacked at least once, often several times before the blinds reach you again.

Brilliant! When i unclick the auto post box ill get KK v AA or flop a lower set a strangly high number of times. :eek:

RichieLawlor

blainj2 wrote: »

Brilliant! When i unclick the auto post box ill get KK v AA or flop a lower set a strangly high number of times. :eek:

Then why do you unclick it. Stop doing it imo

blainj2

RichieLawlor wrote: »

Then why do you unclick it. Stop doing it imo

I dont like to leave a table without completing the orbit and its hard to keep an eye on the blinds on 5/6 tables.

DeadParrot

Always muck the last hand before a tournament break preflop.
You will ALWAYS pick up a nice/marginal hand like mid PP and will be called down all the way because it is the last hand.

The worse the player the more likely they are to apologise after stacking you when you get your set in on the turn and they hit their flush on the river.

Newton's Law of Poker: For every good player there is an equal and opposite donkey who the good player will regularly do his dough to.

The Three Styles of Poker: Maths, Experience and Clairvoyance. No matter how good a player is he will never defeat the brilliance of the beginner's clairvoyance cause they KNOW that spade is coming.

Definition of a Long Term Poker Player: A player who looks down at Jacks and wonders how much money he is going to lose.

eagle eye

If I have AK and he has AQ, he is gonna hit the queen.
If its the other way around and I have AQ I will still lose.
If I have aces and he has kings, he will hit a fcuking king or a str8 or a fcuking flush
but if I have kings and he has aces he will probably hit a royal flush just to piss me off more.
No matter what happens I am gonna get fcuked.

zuroph

6 9 off will always win.
pocket fours will always hold against AX, but never against 6 9 off.

RichieLawlor

eagle eye wrote: »

If I have AK and he has AQ, he is gonna hit the queen.
If its the other way around and I have AQ I will still lose.
If I have aces and he has kings, he will hit a fcuking king or a str8 or a fcuking flush
but if I have kings and he has aces he will probably hit a royal flush just to piss me off more.
No matter what happens I am gonna get fcuked.

Wow, you need a hug!! (PM Bops)

How about making a fantastic 50 break in snooker to leave your terribly inept opponent (whos lifetime highest break is 24) needing a clearance to win.

So you turn around to play deal or no deal on a machine while slagging said opponent to death to anyone who will listen and some who wont, everyone laughing manaically at the plight of said muppet who is about to cough up the hundred bucks that was basically a donation as he has never beat me!!

Then hearing a clap as you turn back from doing your 6 quid on DOND to see afoementioned donkey tracking the pink perfectly en route to a game winning and potentially career ending (for me) 54 clearance that snatched to 200 quid you were going to put on the winner of the 3.17 at crayford. SIGH

reilly110

5starpool wrote: »

The table tard will always get your stack in some ridiculous beat, then 5 mins later give it all awy to the biggest rock at the table who does a hit and run.

I also agree with Iago no.3 though. Happened me way too many times.

this is funny but so so true

DubTony

careca wrote: »

Yep another true one.


I wonder is there a site somewhere called notboards or something like that where they have a good beat section? Lads saying "everytime I get AA against AA I always win with a flush".

Actual laughter here. I was just thinking the same think myself. Nice one Neil.

Deleted User wrote:

Definition of a Long Term Poker Player: A player who looks down at Jacks and wonders how much money he is going to lose.

:D:D Brilliant.

semibluff

Iago wrote: »

3. Whenever you say "just one more hand" you get dealt a big hand preflop, which duly loses you a massive pot before you finish. and now that you've lost your profit - you dont leave and unstead go in to blowing all your dough trying to cath the fish (although it turns out through tilting, you now have replaced him in the fish bowl)

[size=-12]disclaimer: these may just be laws that apply to me[/size]

Your on the FT of a tournie. 7 being paid, your 3/4th in chips but feeling confident. they suggest taking money off to pay 8th and 9th. you sit quietly waiting for someone to speak against it, when no1 does you say fook it- and disagree with it. Dont even take your jacket off, your next out the door!

The_Chopper

YULETIRED wrote: »

Murphy law on FInal Tables

you storm your way to a final table with a good chipstack, playing good tag poker, However the worst player at the table continues to be a total cardrack you bleed chips to him and get knocked out only for him to gets heads up with the 2nd worst player at the table whilst you have gotten rid of the toughest players in the tourny..

Murphy can go fk himself so he can...

LOL

YULETIRED

The_Chopper wrote: »

LOL

I'm not talking about a sepcific FT here Rickyboy.:D

The_Chopper

YULETIRED wrote: »

I'm not talking about a sepcific FT here Rickyboy.:D

I was laughing at the following 2 statements

- Playing good TAG poker
- worst player at the table = complete card rack