Whats he playing at

useful_contacts

This is my friends PI, shes sitting beside me atm.

Long story short she broke up with her bf at christmas, she dumped him cos she found out he was a compulsive liar.She had been with him nearly 2 years and they are both 22.

She started dating this great fella and her ex wouldnt leave her alone,texting her every day, even when she changed numbers he still got her new one. Eventually he drove her new boyfriend away.

The last month hes been texting her asking her back, saying he loves her and wants to marry her etc. She began talking to him again and they became "friends"

Last night he told her he loves her and wants to try again and she said yes. That was that , then today she was trying to get in touch with him she couldnt. She text him about 7 this evening and asked if something was wrong to which he answered "I cant talk im on a date, i met someone last night and im taking her to dinner, Sorry"

What the hell is he playing at!!

SarahSassy

He is a total twat!!!! he is playing at messing her aroiund and this should be the lesson she needs to walk away from him and not look back. He is playing mind games and only wants what he cant have...

She can and will do better than him... Move on.

gubby

It may not seem like it now.. but that was the best thing to happen now. This time she will get over him totally. move on girl and count yourself very lucky. I think this guy is very sick fello and spend all this time and effort into just causing her pain.. just for revenge. Go out and dont ever let him see that he got to you. hold your head high in the air.. Good luck and god bless

cjmcork

jaysus, lucky escape, he sounds like a male bunny-boiler............well shot there girl

bee_dix

cjmcork wrote: »

jaysus, lucky escape, he sounds like a male bunny-boiler............well shot there girl

I second that cjmcork sounds like a headcase, Op never txt em again leave em two it, well shot.

anonymous_joe

What a waste... I'm biased but I hate people who get a second chance and then pull some stunt like that.

Lucky escape I s'pose.

dresden8

WTF was she thinking? He's the biggest manipulative nutjob going. I'll have some of that!

There's a saying that people get the treatment they deserve. She allowed the decent BF to be driven away? Sounds like a drama queen.

She needs to buy a bucket of cop the f**K on before she should be allowed to talk to people again.

Abi

useful_contacts wrote: »

"I cant talk im on a date, i met someone last night and im taking her to dinner, Sorry"

If I was her, I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of calling or texting him anymore.


Soak it up, and move on. If you see him, blank him. I suggest that she get a new number again, so he cant play her when it suits him.

How exactly did he get her new number... ?

Wibbs

SarahSassy wrote: »

He is a total twat!!!! he is playing at messing her aroiund and this should be the lesson she needs to walk away from him and not look back. He is playing mind games and only wants what he cant have...

She can and will do better than him... Move on.

Nail on the proverbial head. Especially the bit in bold.

Some of the fault for this does lie with your friend. She agreed despite the fact she knew what he was like, that he was such a jackass.

AngryBadger

If she just cuts off ALL contact he won't be able to have any influence on her. if he's constantly gettting her new numbers, and so on, then she's obviously responding to whatever he sends her. is it possible she's texting herself and that's how he's getting the numbers? We've all done it drunk, but in that case he's never gonna leave her alone.

But tbh how could a third party be allowed to drive away her recent bf?

LegacyUser

useful_contacts wrote: »

What the hell is he playing at!!

The part where you said, "compulsive liar" should give you, and her, a hint.

useful_contacts

AngryBadger wrote: »

But tbh how could a third party be allowed to drive away her recent bf?

calls texts , a lot of 3am calls from phone boxes and it pissed him off, he figured she must be doing something to lead him on otherwise why would he be doing it.

She said she wasnt he didnt believe her and left her

reregholdsworth

+1 to all of the above who have suggested that your friend should cut all contact completely with this muppet.

He sounds like a complete nnnnhhhhhhh not worth worrying about tbh

Wibbs

useful_contacts wrote:

The last month hes been texting her asking her back, saying he loves her and wants to marry her etc. She began talking to him again and they became "friends"

No offense to your mate but that was none too clever. And how "friendly" did they become? If they did resume the naughties then the recent nice bloke was probably warranted in walking away TBH.

Last night he told her he loves her and wants to try again and she said yes. That was that , then today she was trying to get in touch with him she couldnt. She text him about 7 this evening and asked if something was wrong to which he answered "I cant talk im on a date, i met someone last night and im taking her to dinner, Sorry"

What the hell is he playing at!!

He's playing at stuff thats working for him, basically. He acted the muppet and she left him. He apparently acts the complete stalker muppet, drives off a rival and she gets "friendly" with him again. Ergo acting like a muppet with her works. Now he's just upping the ante.

As a matter of interest in those two years was it all smooth sailing until she dumped him in the end? I suspect not. In which case he's had a good run out of muppetry.

AngryBadger wrote: »

If she just cuts off ALL contact he won't be able to have any influence on her.

Bingo.

if he's constantly gettting her new numbers, and so on, then she's obviously responding to whatever he sends her. is it possible she's texting herself and that's how he's getting the numbers? We've all done it drunk, but in that case he's never gonna leave her alone.

That's what I suspect too. How else would he a) get the number and b) why would he keep txting if he was getting absolutely no response. Now of course there are nutters out there and no mistake, but sometimes people aren't honest with themselves or others in cases like this.

But tbh how could a third party be allowed to drive away her recent bf?

Probably for the same reasons above. He probably figured, rightly or wrongly that she was responding to the ex as useful_contacts said. Nice or not there's only so much a guy will take especially that early in the new relationship. He doesn't know her that well at that stage so he may just figure it's not worth the hassle. Given that she resumed contact with the ex after the new guy, he was probably right.

She needs to have NO contact. Zip. Nada.

If she engages with him again, because she feels sorry for him/has chemistry with him/thinks she loves him/is confused/lonely etc then she's only got herself to blame, I'm afraid.

seamus

useful_contacts wrote: »

calls texts , a lot of 3am calls from phone boxes and it pissed him off, he figured she must be doing something to lead him on otherwise why would he be doing it.

He's theoretically right though. If she didn't respond to the ex's texts and calls, he'd eventually get bored and piss off. She obviously continued to respond just enough to keep it going.

Velvet Vocals

he sounds like a control freak. He'd lost control and he wanted to prove that he could gain it back by getting her back. Once he had done that it he lost interest.
You're friend is so lucky not to get stuck with a di*k head like that. It'll hurt now but in the long run she's so much better off!!

useful_contacts

Wibbs wrote: »

No offense to your mate but that was none too clever. And how "friendly" did they become? If they did resume the naughties then the recent nice bloke was probably warranted in walking away TBH.

Just texting, she didnt cheat on her bf with him or anyone

Wibbs wrote: »

As a matter of interest in those two years was it all smooth sailing until she dumped him in the end?

No he cheated on her, went nuts when she found out and accused her of being paranoid even though she saw him with her own eyes, lied to her about his friends being ill and even lied about his dad dying(his folks live in another country)

Wibbs wrote: »

That's what I suspect too. How else would he a) get the number and b) why would he keep txting if he was getting absolutely no response. Now of course there are nutters out there and no mistake, but sometimes people aren't honest with themselves or others in cases like this.

She swears she never contacted him and she showed me her call and text history on the 02 website and i believe her, they have friends in common so we think he could have gotten it from them

chuci

sounds like my ex. she is well shot of him.draw a line under it and move on. this is the best thing that could have happened to her.

Wibbs

useful_contacts wrote: »

Just texting, she didnt cheat on her bf with him or anyone

Got ya. I meant after the new guy scarpered but from what you say she didn't even then,

No he cheated on her, went nuts when she found out and accused her of being paranoid even though she saw him with her own eyes,

Ah the old reverse pshychology lark. Yep I love the classics. Sadly works with many too.

lied to her about his friends being ill and even lied about his dad dying(his folks live in another country)

Ah here that's a bit much. I presume that's when she gave him the flick.

She swears she never contacted him and she showed me her call and text history on the 02 website and i believe her, they have friends in common so we think he could have gotten it from them

Right. OK same advice to her stands. Do not reply, no matter what. If he keeps this up, then a month down the line she should confront him, over the phone, calmly and tell him that if he continues she will contact the cops and report him for harrassment. Then if within a week it doesn't stop, go with her to said cops and actually report him. If she could save his texts to prove the harrassment even better.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Got ya. I meant after the new guy scarpered but from what you say she didn't even then,

Ah the old reverse pshychology lark. Yep I love the classics. Sadly works with many too. Ah here that's a bit much. I presume that's when she gave him the flick.



Right. OK same advice to her stands. Do not reply, no matter what. If he keeps this up, then a month down the line she should confront him, over the phone, calmly and tell him that if he continues she will contact the cops and report him for harrassment. Then if within a week it doesn't stop, go with her to said cops and actually report him. If she could save his texts to prove the harrassment even better.

Get her to save the call history on her phone as well as on the O2 website. It's a bit much but you should have her do it with the speaker on and have someone else recording the conversation, just so you can prove to the cops that she asked him to stop verbally.