A new experience!!

FlutterinBantam

There I was moseying around JC's in Swords minding my own business and shopping, when I came across these "moist wipes" 99c a pack and guaranteeing me a new experience in cleanliness.

Anyways bought four packs and went home,and after lunch hit for the cludgie and unloaded ,well, a substantial coil,and proceeded to unwrap my recent purchases to "road test" them as it were.

Well Il'l tell ya sommat they are great!!! Once up once down across the nipsy and one for luck and I cleared all the gunk and taggies and winnitts and left the badge as clean as Mike Reilly's whistle after a Man U game.

Much better than dry paper,(fcukin north Dublin leader is particularly rough) and i must say reduced my green footprint substantially.

So sorry if I bored people, but have to extol the advantages of moist wipes.

Anyone else got any good green methods of erm.. cleaning up after the event?

Duggy747

........

RedXIV

man that was weird

Kazobel

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

There I was moseying around JC's in Swords minding my own business and shopping, when I came across these "moist wipes" 99c a pack and guaranteeing me a new experience in cleanliness.

Anyways bought four packs and went home,and after lunch hit for the cludgie and unloaded ,well, a substantial coil,and proceeded to unwrap my recent purchases to "road test" them as it were.

Well Il'l tell ya sommat they are great!!! Once up once down across the nipsy and one for luck and I cleared all the gunk and taggies and winnitts and left the badge as clean as Mike Reilly's whistle after a Man U game.

Much better than dry paper,(fcukin north Dublin leader is particularly rough) and i must say reduced my green footprint substantially.

So sorry if I bored people, but have to extol the advantages of moist wipes.

Anyone else got any good green methods of erm.. cleaning up after the event?

Best discription of clingons I've ever heard! :D

Jesus Wept

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

and i must say reduced my green brown footprint substantially.

fyp

biko

urrgh

CountingCrows

Does this lad ever talk about anything else!

Thrill

Just spit on the toilet paper before using it. You'll get a good moist rub without having to fork out extra for wipes.

Sherifu

Brown trout for mayor!

Wazdakka

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Anyone else got any good green methods of erm.. cleaning up after the event?

Was at a week long drinking session a few years ago, And after a few days we ran out of bog roll. Well it was a bit far to the shops, and one of my mates needed to go. So he proceeded to use something we had plenty of.

O'Brians bags.

They itch apparently,
And are a bugger to flush.
But hey... the cost of recycling i suppose.

easyontheeye

i'd imagine they reduce the amount of golden nuggets left behind with the conventional tissue paper

Keano

CountingCrows wrote: »

Does this lad ever talk about anything else!

Doubtful. But I like his humour strange and all that it is

Radharc na Sleibhte

I'm partial to a moist wipe myself.
I use the dry paper to get rid of the heavy stuff, then a couple of lashes of Andrex moist and I'm squeeky clean.

Wazdakka

Keano A Legend wrote: »

Doubtful. But I like his humour strange and all that it is

Wow
I mean 3,038 post's mainly on the subject of Poo...
Thats just damn impressive.
:eek:

Sh1te.

nice1franko

they have it right in thailand: a little hose beside the jax.

that said, the curry's so hot there the hose is a necessity

nice1franko

tip: i normally run a trickle of water over the jax roll. clean as a whistle with half the wiping

edit- i've a good mind to send that tip into ireland's own

nice1franko

nice1franko wrote: »

they have it right in thailand: a little hose beside the jax.

that said, the curry's so hot there the hose is a necessity

Wait...

... so you're telling me that wasn't for drinking from?

nice1franko

Deleted User wrote: »

Wait...

... so you're telling me that wasn't for drinking from?

FlutterinBantam

nice1franko wrote: »

tip: i normally run a trickle of water over the jax roll. clean as a whistle with half the wiping

edit- i've a good mind to send that tip into ireland's own

Not a good idea.

You know that friction tester they do on the runways to test "braking action"?

Highest values are recorded on a dry runway.

Thing to do is, if you use the dry paper, is to use that first ,thenrun the tricke over the follow up wipe and shift any shards of shíte left.

dab of the moist wipe, and if Mary Coughlan went down on you you would be at ease with yourself:cool:

All about confidence folks.

Witcher

MikeySligo wrote: »

I'm partial to a moist wipe myself.
I use the dry paper to get rid of the heavy stuff, then a couple of lashes of Andrex moist and I'm squeeky clean.

:pac::pac::pac: lol

GreeBo

Those moist/baby wipes are actually much worse for the environment.
They take much longer to biodegrade and will not fall apart when wet so they end up blocking your pipes (if you will pardon the expression).

Just ask anyone who works for those drain cleaning companies. Its always caused by people flushing baby wipes.

You have been warned.:eek:

Abi

MikeySligo wrote: »

I'm partial to a moist wipe myself.
I use the dry paper to get rid of the heavy stuff, then a couple of lashes of Andrex moist and I'm squeeky clean.

.. I cant believe Ive actually read any of this thread but I have to say, would you not do it the other way around?

Moist wipe off the surplus (jesus).. then toilet roll to dry to ensure you arent left with a moist .. crack / damp jocks?


Im not even hanging around for the reply!


:eek:

L31mr0d

WTH where you doing in JC's??? Place is a kip.

Red Hand

Jeez, talk about being obsessed by sh*te.

FlutterinBantam

You haven't read the thread ABI

MickeySligo got it right.... dry first, shift the litterus and spadging.

When the heavy duty stuff is clear in with the moist lad.

Its moist,not wet,so no damp crack or kex.

Just nice and, well, moist .

Stretchy like.

Quality

L31mr0d wrote: »

WTH where you doing in JC's??? Place is a kip.

He works there.:o

FlutterinBantam

L31mr0d wrote: »

WTH where you doing in JC's??? Place is a kip.

No way... explain and discuss,without going off topic.

Abi

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

When the heavy duty stuff is clear in with the moist lad.
Its moist,not wet,so no damp crack or kex.
Just nice and, well, moist .
Stretchy like.

/gets reeled in

How about dry for excess, moist for for the cleanliness, then dry again to wipe away the moist again... ? Would you not find being even slightly moist a bit annoying? (Might have said too much)

It wouldnt surprise me if the next thing you said is you like to dry off au natural by sticking your árse out the bathroom window. You do seem a tad anally fixated tbh. The what now?

The anal stage in psychology is the term used by Sigmund Freud to describe the development during the second year of life, in which a child's pleasure and conflict centers are in the anal area. This stage is exemplified by a toddler's pleasure in controlling his or her bowels.

Hence your bum and shite stories :pac:

Quality wrote: »

He works there.:o

lol

FlutterinBantam

Sigh!!

In a "slightly moist" situation you roll up a wodge of ****e paper into the likeness and form of a King Edward cigar.

This you hold lengthways and jam firmly between the buttcheeks from a stooped posture, making sure that there is firm and positive contact with the brown eye.

You then assume the standing position and the arse tamp is firmly lodged so as to preclude any dampness or moisture in the anal area.

Check the kex at night and the are cleaner than the Popes.

Not a problem really.

Thank you for awsking:cool:

Steve

Sounds like the job for getting rid or plastishite - half shite / half brown plasticene that no amount of wiping will clear.

Usually have to put a wedge in yer crack to stop permanent kaks adhesion, I'll try the moist method next time..:pac:

flanum

i was actually going to post a similar thread.

quite a few of my mates are fond of the old moist wipes, its a bit of trend here in cavan.

a mate of mine stayed over a few weeks ago, stayed on in the gaff when i went to work. when i got home later that evening he had gone, nut when i went into the bathroom, i noticed the packet of "bleach wipes" on the cistern of the toilet (i had left it on the floor of the bathroom near the toilet brush).
now this packet (lidl) is almost identical to moist wipe packets.
i havent said anything to him yet, god i wander if it stung like hell?:eek:

Nailz

Since we're on the subject of talking shìte (no pun intended!) I'll just add this next line...

"Ah torra-lorra-lah, ah torra-lorra-laddy, Ah torra-lorra-lah, ah torra-lorra-laddy!!!!"

sdanseo

nice1franko wrote: »

tip: i normally run a trickle of water over the jax roll. clean as a whistle with half the wiping

edit- i've a good mind to send that tip into ireland's own

Wiping yer arse is the only thing that's good for. Handy really, it'll save money