Friendship advice

LegacyUser

Hi I'm looking for advice on what people would do in this situation! I've been 'best friends' with a girl for about 6 years! Used to do everything together and when I got with my OH the 4 of us would literally live in each others pockets. She had a baby a while back and since it's all gone to pot

She refuses to let anyone mind the child unless its her OH, we never see them and when we do its for a couple of minutes with the child. I'm the child's godmother and I love her to pieces but we never see them witout her. We have asked a million times for them to come down to our new house but it's just like she won't make the effort now that we don't go up to them all the time.

It has finally come to head because I've just gotten so peed off asking her all the time to do things and her making excuses or using the baby as an excuse (bear in mind the child is now well over a year). I understand that it may be extremely difficult to leave your first baby with anyone but she still has to have some sort of a life, even if we all just went to see a film for 2 hours ANYTHING AT ALL! I found out that she is going away with another friend for a night later in the year and I couldn't believe. Told her how I feel and basically got nothing back, haven't talked in 2 weeks now.

Basically I need closure but don't want to be the first to get in touch because it's obviously not bothering her. I don't want to loose touch with them coz i love the baby and her partner but she's obviously not bothered, should I just forget about it and close that chapter of my life?? (sorry about the long rant)

RedXIV

hmmmm this doesn't sound like an easy one to fix..... I can't pretent to understand the attachment that is involved with a new child but I can say that if you're the child's godmother, you SHOULD try and rectify matters between the two of you. I haven't seen my godfather since i was about 6 (can't say i want to after what i heard what he was like) but it's def a bit odd when people talk about god parents and you're missing one.

The two of you were good friends for a long time but you have to acknowledge that a child changes things alot.

Get in contact, even if it's just to clear the air. You'll probably feel better afterwards

LegacyUser

Wow a friend of mine is a godmother of a child and has had a very similar problem with the mohther, who made very little effort with her after childs birth, despite being best friends previously. I think you have said it to her, which is a good think, its good that she knows how you feel. my friend found that anything negative about the child was taken very badly..ie wanting to see her without baby ect. Their freidship is still not the same, althought this same girl makes alot of effort with her friends who are mothers.

I guess at the end of the day you have to make up your mind if its worth staying in contact with this girl. if your the childs godparent id say it is. there is no easy solution to this..for some people motherhood really affects them..it might be better to stay in contact with this girl and call up to her house twice a month if she will make no effort, rather than to loose contact with your godchild.
mentioning her going away with the other girl might just make her think you are jealous. why dont you call her or call into see her unexpectedly? yes it might be you sorting out something you think is not your fault..but you will probably feel beter for it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. There has still been no contact made and at this stage I don't think its repairable. I would jump at the chance to make everything right with her if she only got in touch but our friendship is obviously not what I thought it was

I am not the only gomother, there were 2 of each godparent.I was probably only asked because she felt she should. I'm guessing I have to take her silence as the closure that I need.