trouble talking to girl

hobo hunter

hi, well im a 16 year old teenager.im quiet but i have plenty of freinds and am quite happy with my life, but theres one problem that keeps getting me and its really annoying and embarrising. thers a girl in my class that i like but every time i go to say something to her i just cant i just shy away and end up not saying anything to her at all, and its not just her its most girls. any advice is greatly appreciated:o

JuliusCaesar

hobo hunter wrote: »

i just shy away and end up not saying anything to her at all, and its not just her its most girls. any advice is greatly appreciated:o

this won't help but it's true: girls are people too.
They like having someone else break the ice. Small talk is fine. Anything will do so long as the ice is broken. What are the girls likely to be able to chat about? Bands? TV? Teachers? It doesn't matter, so long as someone speaks!!! It doesn't have to be interesting or fascinating or intellectual. Any ol' cr*p will do. There you go....

LegacyUser

Take it from someone who knows. This doesnt get easier as you get older. You need to learn how to do this when you are young. So just go for it!

RedXIV

sounds like every normal teenager i ever knew. It took me hitting 20 before i reached a stage i was comfortable with talking to girls. It's all about getting in the right mindset. it's been said a thousand times here but confidence is the best thing ever if you want to get a girl interested in you so don't go up unless you're sure you can keep a conversation casual.

If it doesn't work straight away, don't worry about it. this is not something easy to learn!

Marksie

AdviceGiver wrote: »

Take it from someone who knows. This doesnt get easier as you get older. You need to learn how to do this when you are young. So just go for it!

Actually it does get easier as you get older as you begin to become more comfortable with who you are and also the fact that you see the other as a person.

All you can do is be yourself, its a cliche but also a truism. Talk to her as you would anyone else and see where it leads. you must have common grounds for discussion and small talk is fine.
Dont focus on the fact you fancy her.
One thing about conversations, is once you have broken the ice its a two way thing. The ability to listen and get someone to talk about themselves is just as, if not more, important than talking about yourself.Which doesnt mean you bombard them with questions, but listen to what they say and ask based on that.

anonymous_joe

What he said.

*points upwards*

LegacyUser

hobo hunter wrote: »

thers a girl in my class that i like b

can you talk to girls you don't find attractive?
Treat her in the same way....

Even though it does get easier when you're older, once attraction enters the picture its always going to be a little harder - not only have you your own physical response (Phwoar!) to deal with, but the stakes are higher. At my age (40s) I can do it with no visible problem; but nobody can see what's going on underneath my suave exterior!

Marksie

Joejoe90, you are doing a lot of posting anonymously. Why dont you register? its saves us a job of approving your posts and you get to see them straight away.

hobo hunter

thanks for the help. i fairly confident that i could have a conversation with her but its just getting to the point where i can thats the hard part and keeping eye contact, which is stupid. one thing that helps me is alcohol, but she doesnt drink.thanks for the help so far.

anonymous_joe

Don't get reliant on booze to talk at such a young age. It's tough to do it sober, but you'll thank yourself if you find out how.