What's to do?

LegacyUser

As my username suggests I slightly confused about something.....

There's a girl at work that recently joined the team. She's 22 nearly 23 and I'm 25 nearly 26. We've been getting on well etc etc. She's very easy on the eye to be honest and a has a great friendly personality with a very sexy d4 ish voice. As for me I'm not an oil painting by any stretch of the imagination but i'm not ugly either. That being said I feel a bit out of my league.

Anyhow to cut a long story short, I usually eat my breakfast at work and I see her every morning. Every morning she's has a nice greeting for me "Hiya Stevie" and we have a wee chat over a cuppa. Then I head off to my area and ditto for her. Might see her at lunch and have a chat. Nothing too powerful but I always try to get a bit of craic out of her. She once told me that I was hillarous. She can be very flirty with lots of people and is a very touchy feely person in general.

Anyhow this has carried on for the past few months and to be quite honest I wasn't really thinking much about it until she moved down to my area of work this week. So now she pritty much sits across me doing a different job that I do.

So here I am yesterday morning sitting down eating my brekky and in pops herself beside me. We were just chatting about how she was finding the new role and I was just going on about how I found it when I was doing it and then she goes "Will you look after me Stevie" in a real seductive voice. Of course I said I would . Then as she was dropping her cup back to the sink she shouts in "We're getting very close Stevie". Kinda wasn't sure and can't remember what I said or what to take from it.

Anyhow this morning I happened to be late into work and skipped the brekky. Went back down to my desk and then went over to fetch something in her area. Big hello etc and then she goes "I missed you this morning Stevie"... It was said as if she felt a void because I wasn't there. It was a bit weird but nice If you know what I mean . At lunchtime we were the only two in the canteen and we just chatted away for the hour.

Sorry for rambling on but I'm a bit confused. Yes I love to get to know her a bit better and all that but I'm a bit afraid that If I do anything further I'll (a) get blown out of the water and (b) ruin everything. Added to that I'm not the most experienced at all this craic. I can come across as being very confident and friendly but deep down I can be quite shy / coy. Shame to say that at 25 going on 26 but that's life. It's definatly not something I'd be telling my mates. I'd be mortified!! I'd like to hear your opinions. And please don't go but ask her out because I don't know if I'm ready for that. I kinda need to build up to it and I kinda want her to want to go out, not because she feels under pressure to do so because I've put her on the spot. I want to do the right thing. Any strategies or ideas folks?

JuliusCaesar

I can come across as being very confident and friendly but deep down I can be quite shy / coy. Shame to say that at 25 going on 26 [/QUOTE]

This is NORMAL. You won't feel this way at 50 but that's a long way off yet. Go on, take it to the next level....ask her out for a coffee / lunch. If she says no, it's ok, it was only coffee. She likes you, that's for sure.

Pen1987

have you found out if shes single yet?

Have you got her fone number?

If she is single then stop going to lunch with her for a few days, see how she reacts, if she keeps up this "I miss you" thingy then tell her youre going out for lunch the next day and if she wants then she can join you (if she asks why youre going 'out', say youre just bored of the usual staff spot)... if you do it that way then you havent 'asked her out' (although you really have, but officially shes joining you on your already made plans), and its not a 'date' (although you two will be alone together for an hour having a meal...) see how she behaves if she does join you on the lunch, you should know what the story is after that...

cjmcork

be mindful of [EMAIL="cr@pping"]cr@pping[/EMAIL] on your doorstep at work - it can get awkward if it doesn't work out - of course, it only needs to go right once.........good luck!

BubbleWrap85

Jaysus if this is all ya have to be worried about! It's hardly a "PERSONAL ISSUE"!! You said yourself she's a bit flirty with everyone. Not trying to burst your bubble here but she's probably not interested in ya in that way, though you seem to get on really great as friends. If she's as confident and forward as you portray her to be [the flirtiness, the comments, the "seductive"ness], then I'm sure she would have said "So what cha doing tonight?" or something along those lines! Argh. Can't believe people are posting threads about this! Then again, I did start a "good porn site" thread so suppose I can't talk................!

punchestown

She sounds like a cock teaser. I would limit your interaction with her and watch how quickly she starts that with other fellahs working there.

LegacyUser

Pen1987 wrote: »

have you found out if shes single yet?

Have you got her fone number?

If she is single then stop going to lunch with her for a few days, see how she reacts, if she keeps up this "I miss you" thingy then tell her youre going out for lunch the next day and if she wants then she can join you (if she asks why youre going 'out', say youre just bored of the usual staff spot)... if you do it that way then you havent 'asked her out' (although you really have, but officially shes joining you on your already made plans), and its not a 'date' (although you two will be alone together for an hour having a meal...) see how she behaves if she does join you on the lunch, you should know what the story is after that...

I know she's single. She said as much on Valentines day during lunch in the canteen as did I. As for her phone number, we'll I don't have it but I'm not worried about that yet. Doing the going for coffee / lunch stuff scares me because you can conscrew it as just that. It's very easy to get into the work conversation and christ I don't want to talk about that. We could talk about the apprentice for an hour (as we did today) but that wouldn't be very entertaining TBH As I've said I'm very very inexperience with the asking out / going for dinner / coffee stuff and all the bits that go with it. It scares me a bit TBH. Prob need to grow a set of balls but it's easier said than done.

LegacyUser

She's not interested, she's only playing with you and she knows you fancy her!
Leave her off...

LegacyUser

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

Jaysus if this is all ya have to be worried about! It's hardly a "PERSONAL ISSUE"!! You said yourself she's a bit flirty with everyone. Not trying to burst your bubble here but she's probably not interested in ya in that way, though you seem to get on really great as friends. If she's as confident and forward as you portray her to be [the flirtiness, the comments, the "seductive"ness], then I'm sure she would have said "So what cha doing tonight?" or something along those lines! Argh. Can't believe people are posting threads about this! Then again, I did start a "good porn site" thread so suppose I can't talk................!

LOL I kinda thought that to start with (she must be 3 months with us now) but I'm not so sure. Fcuking wrecking my head. Maybe I might take punchestown's advice and see how it goes. But christ it would be hard to ignore her

Teddi

at the end of the day, are you going to be ok with looking back at this situation having not done anything about it?....

if you get shot down, put it down to a life lesson and stay in the buddies zone...

take a risk, ask her out for some drinks after work, see her reaction and judge how it works out...

she may be a willie tease, she may not...just take the chance , not looking back in regret..

Kazobel

She flirts with all the guys in the office BUT she spent her lunch hour with you, that's more than just flirting, if she was a "cock-tease" she'd want the attention of the entire office. She's just moved to another department so she's probably just trying to fit in. I agree with Teddi, just bite the bullet and ask the girl if she wants to go for lunch outside the workplace or even a drink after work. I know just leaving things as they are is the easy option "just incase" you get shot down but she doesn't sound like she'd be bad about it and have you considered that she might be trying her best to get you to ask her out and the longer you leave it the higher the chance she'll just give up.

Jigsaw

Definitely ask her out for a coffee or something. Make sure it is pretty relaxed and non-commital so that you can gauge how things are going.

It would also provide a chance for you to see what she is like outside of work. Coffee is good because if things go disastrously then either of you can head on after one cup and the whole thing can be passed off fairly casually. However, if there is a bit more chemistry you can make it last a bit longer, suggest a bite to eat or a few alcoholic beverages.

LegacyUser

I know, time to grow a set of balls. I'll see how I get on next week. Anyhow I wouldn't mind hearing some more opinions and thanks to those who posted already.