Can't take much more!!!!!!!!!

LegacyUser

Hi

Dont know really why i am posting here, just to get a few things off my chest really as i cant take much more of things

Basically i feel as if my left is falling apart around me and i cant take much more of this

have been unemployed for the past 5 months, and decided to join a course, as soon as i started the course which was only recently i found out that this course wasnt for me, and had a few personal problems which made me give up the course, so i went to social welfare to see if i could get my payments back again and they said that i willhave to put in a new claim and they would not pay me for 9 weeks because i quit the course myself!!!1

I literally have no money, i owe a hell of alot of money to the bank and have been trying to pay them as much as i could each week out of my social welfare until i foundwork, i told them today (the bank) that i have literally no income and they said that if i dont give them some payment their taking me to court

With all this i have my own house and have been mainly living in bf house because i couldnt afford 2 feed myself in my house and have been having alot of hassel in this house. Its an estate and its very rough, recently someone broke into my house and broke the windows, my garden has been destroyed, kids drinknin on my wall day and night and if i approach them about this i am told to f*ck off, i've had eggs thrown at my door on a daily basis,because my nerves are just shattered at this stage i practially moved in with my bf, so to prevent my house being broken into again i told my bf that i moving back to my own house, and he said he wont come and stay with me because he hates the area, now i have a pain in my stomach with the thoughts of going back to live there

the pressures of everything is getting to me , i have no friends, my family are useless they only seem to lecture me and point out all my faults to me when i do visit, i have no job, no income and wonthave any income for the next 9 weeks and the bank want to take me to court. I keep bursting out crying because i just cant cope with any of this anymore, and i keep asking myself would it be easier if i just died.

I love my bf to bits and tbh he's the only person really keeping me hanging in, because without him i would have nothing, i literally couldnt afford to feed myself.

I just dont know what to do or who to turn to, i cant keep crying into my bf face about all this because he has his probs also, and i dont want to seem like a moaning cow

But i would love to go asleep and never wake up again

Victor

3904 wrote: »

But i would love to go asleep and never wake up again

We all know that isn't acceptable. You should want to go to sleep and wake up with all your problems gone.

You really need to talk to someone. Start off by talking to the Samaritans - now 1850 60 90 90 http://www.samaritans.org/

In the morning, get an appointment with your GP and explain how you feel.

Overheal

You might be able to get the bank off your back if you can land a job. any job. Phone sales. Clothes. Travel Agency. Tesco. McDonalds! Anything to say OK I'm making the effort you'll get your money.

LegacyUser

i have tried all of the above, i have over 50 letters for jobs that i have applied for and did not get offered one of these jobs.......I have applied for jobs i didnt even want just to earn some money to get the bank off my back

All there letters and phonecalls i have answered and explained the situation to them and they will not wait 9 weeks whilst the social welfare decide to pay me

theres no solution to any of this

its just like staring down into a black hole with no light at the end!!!!!!!!!!!

echosound

Any chance you could take some positive steps to sorting out things (I don't mean that in a snooty way, I mean that even tiny steps taken to sort stuff out can make you feel better, like you're in control again, and quell the feelings of panic) - go to your bank and see if you can come to some arrangement to pay off your debts - they will more than likely prefer to see a person who is trying to pay off the debt even if it's in tiny increments, than taking you to court.

Can you approach any family member for a small loan to get you through this patch until you either find another job or get some social welfare - when you can pay it back to them again? I know you say they are no good but if you are in dire straits chances are there is someone decent enough to throw you a lifeline...
Also - could you see if you could find something - anything - to earn a bit of income to get you through this - at least if you had something coming in you wouldn't feel so helpless, try anything just to get yourself though this patch -even if it's stacking shelves in a supermarket or collecting trolleys, it's still more money coming in than you have now, and would probably be worth more to you than the dole anyway, and you wouldn't be stuck waiting for 2 months before you see a penny.

Even if you can't find a job, at least go see your community welfare officer in the local health board, they may be able to give you emergency payments until such time as your dole comes through (and the dole will refund the back-claim to them, so you don't have to worry about paying it back or anything).

You mention the house you own is in a bad area and you can't stay there anymore- any chance of trying to sell it if at all possible? I know it'd probably be hard to shift in the current climate, but it seems like this would solve a lot of your problems- money freed up to clear debt, gets you out of the rough estate and away from the constant abuse...leaving you free to either find somewhere to rent/move in properly with BF or go looking for another house/apartment in a nicer area .

Serously though, don't sit and worry, it'll only get you even more down, decide that tomorrow morning you are going to get up and take little steps to change your situation - first port of call, community welfare officer, second port of call, jobs pages or local supermarket, third - call your bank and arrange a meeting, fourth, contact and estate agent and see if the house can be shifted. Don't expect to get it all done in a day, but taking the first babystep to sorting stuff out is the most important one, you'll feel like you are exerting some control over your life and taking the reins back again a bit, and things won't seem so desolate.

I hope you feel a little better soon and remember this is only temporary and things will get better -at worst it will be for another 8 weeks or so, at best it will only be for a few hours until you make the first step.

carlos30

why dont you rent your house out to tenants

even if it is in a bed area , Im sure you could get people to take it , especially on rent allowance for sure

it my get you anything between 1,100 - 1200 a month it would at lease help pay the mortgage

if you go to any estate agency and say you want to rent your house out they will advise you how much you will get and whether or not you want to take rent allowance

my brother lives in a dodgey area has a house there he rent it out to rent allowance people , they are great tenants and he is getting 1200 a month

why dont u do that problem solved ? and you get a deposit and first month rent , with the deposit it can tie you over to you get another job

but make sure you eventually replace the 1200 if you spent it and the tenant would need that when leaving

Redpunto

In the real world people need to work and people do work at jobs they hate to pay the bills, you really need to find work, even if ya hate it. Once you have a job then you can get in touch with the banks etc you owe money to and you can sort out an easier payment plan. Call mabs, or mabs.ie and set up an appointment, they help you sort out all your financial problems. Once you have a job and are earning youll feel a helofalot better about yourself. In regards the house at least you have your own place, if ya hate the area so much, sell it.

Amazotheamazing

If you can't afford you house, and it's in an area you don't like, perhaps it's time to sell it?

LegacyUser

About my house none of the above are an option as its a council house

have been to the council to beg and plead for a transfer and basically told me i have no hope unless i have children, which i would never do just to get a house, so i havent many option as regard the house

Glowing

OP you need to take things one step at a time.

First things first - get a job. You *need* to sort out your financial situation. There is help over in the Work and Jobs forum if you need help with your C.V. Get any job at first - you should be able to get something better once you're working. There is loads of work out there, you just need to be persistant and try not to get down if you're turned away. It's happened to the best of us.

Try www.nixers.ie - loads of work going there. Get that C.V sorted too, a good C.V will help get your foot in the door.

justsomebloke

Glowing wrote: »

OP you need to take things one step at a time.

First things first - get a job. You *need* to sort out your financial situation. There is help over in the Work and Jobs forum if you need help with your C.V. Get any job at first - you should be able to get something better once you're working. There is loads of work out there, you just need to be persistant and try not to get down if you're turned away. It's happened to the best of us.

Try www.nixers.ie - loads of work going there. Get that C.V sorted too, a good C.V will help get your foot in the door.

agreed if possible try and find out the reasons that you haven't got the jobs you have applied for. However get someone to look over your CV and find out if there are any problems with it. Also look up general interview questions and answers and practice them even if it is just in front of a mirror, and just keep sending out CV's something will come up. Also if you do get an interview remember to dress well even if you have to borrow a suit from someone

Glowing

If you want to email me your C.V, I'll have a look at it if it helps - PM me .... (its a pass-time of mine, I do it for all my friends/family!)

Take it as a first positive step to getting you out of this vicious circle .....

K_P

There's lots of good advice here. My only suggestion would be to maybe also try a temping agency - La Creme, Sigmar, etc. There are loads of them around and they can be good in getting you work quickly. The work can be quite sporadic but the pay is ok, you'll get good experience and, most importantly, start earning quickly.

Regarding your house, if you really want to get out of there, there's always the possibility of an inter-transfer, ie, where you and another council tenant literally swap houses. It's up to you to find the person you swap with. Once you come to an agreement, you fill out a form in your council office. Unless one of you has large rent arrears or is involved in anti social behaviour they generally go through without a hitch. It's just another option to think about.

Monsoon26

Try to remember that the situation you find yourself in now took a while to get into and may take a while to get out of it, but once you've decided it has to change you're well on the right track !! As another post said, take it one step at a time, and believe in yourself. While it can be hard taking a job rejection, but it does happen to all of us at some point, you just gotta dust yourself off and keep going !! Some day you might even look back on this period of your life and laugh. Everything in life changes over time and this is your time to change too. Good luck:)

..."Into every life a little rain must fall"...

Lockstep

I'm unsure as to what the Irish equivalent of the Citizens Advice Bureau is but maybe give them a call.

There's some good advice here, my advice is just to take any job possible. I worked in a supermarket lifting boxes in a freezer. I hated it but just stuck with it until I could get a better one. I saw it as a means to an end more than anything.


Please, please don't "go to sleep", are you feeling suicidal? If so, make an appointment with a GP to talk about it.

Finally, this might sound harsh but try to stay as upbeat as possible with your boyfriend. Lots of guys are great and supportive but there are ones who hate hearing constant complaining as it brings them down. It sounds like you love him as well as rely on him so if at all possible, try not to bring it out on him the whole time.

best of luck.

justsomebloke

K_P wrote: »

My only suggestion would be to maybe also try a temping agency - La Creme, Sigmar, etc.

actually on this note if you can't type fast LEARN. If you know anyone with a computer learn how to type or your local library may have computers you can use to learn, and if you can how to use the various Microsoft office packages, who maybe able to get this through FAS.

Dudess

Glowing wrote: »

If you want to email me your C.V, I'll have a look at it if it helps - PM me .... (its a pass-time of mine, I do it for all my friends/family!)

Take it as a first positive step to getting you out of this vicious circle .....

Snap! Thought I was the only one! Ah... it's great to learn there's actually another freak like me. Although on the other hand I wish you weren't copying my hobby... :mad:

OP, I know who you are. You gotta go back to school whenever it's possible (which I know it isn't right now). It's highly unlikely anything else is stopping you from getting work. But also, have you tried factories? And I know you have retail experience - any luck with Tesco etc? Deli counters? Waitressing? Petrol stations? Paddy Power bookmakers are looking for cashiers nationwide: http://www.jobs.ie/ApplyForJob.aspx?Id=733110. Contact them directly rather than applying through Jobs.ie. The contact details are on that ad though - ring them now!

+1 on the MABS suggestion. You poor thing. I know the feeling you're describing - it's like you're being choked, suffocated, trapped. But there are ways out of these things.
Is it a Fás course you were doing? Any chance of another Fás course down the line? Computer skills would be highly beneficial.
And when's the lease up on your house?

LegacyUser

Dudess wrote: »

Snap! Thought I was the only one! Ah... it's great to learn there's actually another freak like me. Although on the other hand I wish you weren't copying my hobby... :mad:

OP, I know who you are. You gotta go back to school whenever it's possible (which I know it isn't right now). It's highly unlikely anything else is stopping you from getting work. But also, have you tried factories? And I know you have retail experience - any luck with Tesco etc? Deli counters? Waitressing? Petrol stations? Paddy Power bookmakers are looking for cashiers nationwide: http://www.jobs.ie/ApplyForJob.aspx?Id=733110. Contact them directly rather than applying through Jobs.ie. The contact details are on that ad though - ring them now!

+1 on the MABS suggestion. You poor thing. I know the feeling you're describing - it's like you're being choked, suffocated, trapped. But there are ways out of these things.
Is it a Fás course you were doing? Any chance of another Fás course down the line? Computer skills would be highly beneficial.
And when's the lease up on your house?

i have over 50 letters and job applications for jobs that i have applied for, i find out a awhile back why i wasnt getting any of these jobs was because an old employer was giving me a crap reference, so i have sorted that problem and took them off my cv and handed out loads more cvs, i haven't had one call back from anyone, only the odd email to say thank you for applying we'll be in touch soon, have been for interviews with paddy powers,ladbrooks and other bookies and to no success

Went to mabs and they wouldnt deal with my case because they said i had only one debt????which i found hilarious to be honest but their words to me were they only deal with people who have several bills owing and therefor couldnt help me only contact the bank directly and explain my situation.Which i have several times, have been there in person and sent them letters and rang them and phoned them and i was giving them as much i could out of my social welfare, but now i have no income and have literally no way of payiing them until this is sorted

my house is a council house,so i am a tenant, and would not got a transfer an have been to community officer in my area and his advice to me was to get tough with the people giving me hassel,ehhhhh easy for him to say but i dont fancy getting the crap beating out of me

The other post who suggested about a swap with someone else, theres no hope of that as people are trying to get out of this area and no one in their right mind would want to move into this area

i am on the internet and out and about every day to try and get work, just very disheartening the whole situation

Glowing

I appreciate that, but just with regards to a C.V, (and no offence to your english!), bad grammer, punctuation and a bad layout will also have an effect - best to get that checked out by a friend just to make sure something as simple as that is not reducing your chances of securing a job.

paperclip2

Have you tried your local LES or Jobs Club for help with the job search? At least they might be able to give you a hand in doing the CV. They are also often in the know about job opportunities in the area. Your local fas office should be able to direct you to the nearest one.

From how you have described the efforts you are making you are doing all the right things. If you are getting no joy it might be a good idea to review how you are coming across to employers. When you leave in CV's are you contacting them a short time later with a follow-up call? Are you sending your CV's in purely on spec? Often these type of CV's go astray and don't actually get to the person they should.

Definitely get your CV reviewed by a third party, they can see mistakes and mis-spellings more easily. Also look at layout. Ideally it should be no more than 2 pages long. The prime 'selling space' on a CV is the bottom two thirds of page one and the top third of page two. Its here that you should try to put those things that make you ideal for the job you are applying for. Ideally you should tailor the CV to the job and not have just one CV that you send to all employers. Do a little bit of research on the company / position so you can really show what you have to offer the job.

Always, always include a cover letter even with CV's you send in on spec. It shows employers someting about your communication skills as well as putting your CV in context.

You have so much going on in your head that its no wonder you are feeling so low. Re the bank have you spoken to senior staff or just front of house people? I was in the same situation several years ago and ended up paying fifteen pounds a week until i got work and sorted. Is there anyone that can act as an advocate for you in this regard? A local county councillor or TD maybe?

Don't give up OP. This too shall pass, as has been said already.
Chin up. ((())) Hugs.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Life can be tough, its not a bed of roses for most of people. i have had moments like this in my life and i know other people have also but i promise life will get better with time. you have to try and be positive i know its not easy.

why dont u visit ur local community
welfare officer.. they are entitled to give money to people that have fallen on hard times. also visit the branch which u owe money too and ask to speak to the manager and explain ur situation to them, they will be a bit more leniant with u if they realise u are actually going to pay back the money and ur credit rating prob wont be ruined either.

you have to do things for yourself in order to turn your life around. why not look for work?? u could make money and new friends in a new job. hopefully things will work out for u but dont do anything rash, i have been low at times and thought my life was over but i just tried to get on with it the best i can and now i'm happier than ever. your family dont seem v supportive maybe u shouldnt involve them in ur life so much. how old are u??

LegacyUser

tonia wrote: »

Life can be tough, its not a bed of roses for most of people. i have had moments like this in my life and i know other people have also but i promise life will get better with time. you have to try and be positive i know its not easy.

why dont u visit ur local community
welfare officer.. they are entitled to give money to people that have fallen on hard times. also visit the branch which u owe money too and ask to speak to the manager and explain ur situation to them, they will be a bit more leniant with u if they realise u are actually going to pay back the money and ur credit rating prob wont be ruined either.

you have to do things for yourself in order to turn your life around. why not look for work?? u could make money and new friends in a new job. hopefully things will work out for u but dont do anything rash, i have been low at times and thought my life was over but i just tried to get on with it the best i can and now i'm happier than ever. your family dont seem v supportive maybe u shouldnt involve them in ur life so much. how old are u??

Have been to the social welfare and they said the community welfare officer wont help me because i have to make a claim first, i cant make a claim until the social welfare recieve a letter from the course i was doing to say that i am finished,so they wont send the letter until tomorrow afternoon, so they wont accept my claim until they recieve this letter and therefor i cant go to the community welfare officer until they process my claim

Have been to the bank , have spoken to the manager, they have been understanding for the past few months, as i am out of work for the past few months, but they are putting pressure on me to return to my full payments on the loan, which i dont have, because i literally have no income at the moment

Anything i have done in life, i have done it myself, no one else has done it for me....
I am out looking for work every day, have contacted the les and they never rang me back, said they were booked solid for the next few weeks. I dont bother with my family much and i dont involve them, i call about once a week and thats it, at the moment i havent literally a penny in my pocket and wouldnt ask my family for anything, i never have and never would, oh and i am 27