Would it end in tears?

LegacyUser

I'll be honest. This just came to me today and is as ill thought out as it may seem. That's the reason I'm posting anon, just because I don't want to lose face if it's a stupid idea.

College is ending next week and I don't really have any plans for the Summer. Most of my college mates will be going home, and I will probably end up finding a ****ty bar job and spending all my wages on booze, weed and CDs. I've spent a year trying to discipline myself to get my life on track but to no avail. I'll probably barely pass the year when my plan is to finish with a first (I'm in 2nd year so nothing has counted towards my final mark).

As I desperately struggle to finish all my assignments, I'm more and more reminded of how my poor discipline is holding me back. Every 100 words I write I can't help but have a game of WC3, or turn on the TV, or check my usercp. I just can't focus myself and haven't been able to for a while. My head has been completely muddled up from women trouble and I haven't really gotten over the loneliness from breaking up with my gf over a year ago. Thankfully I have a lot of friends but this means a lot of drinking and smoking which is kind of taking it's toll. I can't bare to be in college doing what I used to love (and still do).

So I was thinking this: A voluntary programme. I haven't a clue what I would do but I was thinking that it would be an amazing way of getting out of this place and maybe giving my life that something that it lacks. I'm always moaning about how much poverty there is and maybe this could be a way of actually doing something about it.

Now the logistics: I have no money, I'm a lazy bastard (I don't want to be, I just am, I've tried as hard as I can to cop myself on but I can't seem to break myself out of it.. I never have any energy), I'm not the fittest, I get pretty lonely.

Does this sound like a good way to help myself and other people or is it just another bad plan that will end in shame?

Has anyone done anything like this? Can you tell me about your experiences?

suzy5978

check out the volunteerism forum.im sure youd get loads of feedback there.

Dudess

Do you smoke a lot of weed? If so, maybe that's what's contributing to your laziness/lack of motivation. Consider cutting back, for your own sake.

Kelly O'Malley

This is the last chance you'll have to be lazy - probably - so you can make the most of it or - you can take a good hard look at WHY you are so lacking in motivation.Could it be that you are living up to someone else's expectations of what you are supposed to be doing with your life?
Is what you are doing/studying REALLY what you want to be doing with your life?It's your life - no one else can tell you with any degree of accuracy what you should do with it.

When I was younger a lot of people who 'knew' me would have told you that I was one seriously lazy bitch. I'd roll a spliff before I got up and stayed stoned all day every day.Hopeless case.

Then I got old enough and tough enough to say 'sod you all and your expectations' and started to do what I really wanted to do.

If you were to ask anyone who knows me now 'is that Kelly a good worker?' they'd say Jaysus she's scary - lazy? No way! Wish she'd slow down!'

TerrorFirmer

You sound exactly like me. I simply can't commit to anything that requires focused attention i.e study. In fact right now I'm meant to be studying for a big exam tomorrow for a module that I haven't actually been to all year...and I've got a lot to do, yet here I am browsing boards. I keep telling myself that after every close call (Strangely, I do extraordinarily well all considering in exams despite this practice) I'll change and never get myself stuck in that desperate, panicked situation again but inevitably it always comes around again. It's not that I'm lazy, I have no problem with manual work etc, but it's specifically studying. I don't know why; what I'm doing in college is genuinely what I want to do. I just can't get out of it, and I've been like this since I was about 8 years of age!

Kelly O'Malley

Sounds like a negative experience of book larnin is the root of the trouble for you terror.
Bad teacher when you were 8?
Your exam results would indicate that you have the brain so it's not a comprehension difficulty that's making you rigid with boredom at the prospect of hitting the books.
Try thinking of studying in the same way you would building a wall.
This brick down is one brick closer to the wall,this chapter digested one closer to the finished product...