Very confused please help

needhelpguy

I don't really want to write this but I have to force myself.

I am confused about who I am. I am 22 yr old guy with no experience with either sex. Lately my friends have been trying to set me up with a girl who I like, we're texting and going to meet up and that's grand I do like her, but I cant shake the feelings I'm having about boys.

What can I do here? I like the girl but 90% of the time I'm thinking about boys and... looking at gay porn.

Like I look at straight porn aswell but I have a gay porn stash on my computer (encrypted just in case) and I am really attracted to guys my age (18-22) and even have a gaydar profile and have chatted to loads of guys online but nothing ever happened in real life (too scared). I am not gay (people would say bisexual or whatever) but I don't want to label myself.

I like boys but I like this girl aswell and my head is melted as to what I should do. I even find it hard to find guys and anytime I was propositioned was far too scared to do anything. But I like this girl aswell but would I like her enough? I don't know. I am so confused.

There are too many issues running around in my head regarding this to put down here. People keep asking me when I'm going to get a girlfriend, but I don't even have the guts to do what I want. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't want any of this.

I am thinking more and more about death. I keep reading about it and watching videos about it, like I can just up and quit anytime I want. I am drawing myself into this because I can't deal and don't want to deal with any of these feelings. I am not suicidal but I just want to escape. Please don't think I am looking for attention because I'm not, I'm a perfectly normal guy outside.

This reads like an incoherant drunken rant but I'm not drunk honestly it's just that my head is melted. I don't know what to do.

(Mods I'd prefer if this stayed in PI as not many people ever visit the gay/bi forum)

AARRRGH

Sounds like you're bisexual? Loads of people are bisexual.

Don't worry about it. You're 22, you have loads of time to find yourself. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

xsiborg

just explain to the girl and maybe ye might become trusted friends and she could be someone you could talk to and confide in, just ignore the pressure from other people that you "must" have sex, be it with either a male or female.

OoSKYLINEoO

dublindude wrote: »

Sounds like you're bisexual? Loads of people are bisexual.

Don't worry about it. You're 22, you have loads of time to find yourself. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

What he said

AARRRGH

You can still meet the girl. It won't change who you are.

Just remember you have a choice and you are in control of your life. Meeting the girl, kissing her, whatever, it's not lying to yourself if you want to do it. In fact, it might be good to meet her because it'll help you sense if you do really like girls, or if you don't.

Overheal

Well I've said it before some people just can't understand people that live single - they act as if there is something wrong with you and if you aren't at the club every night trying to pants a bird then you must be gay

Don't be pressured into hooking up with someone. Do it because you want to.

On a side note it may be a good thing to come out to someone with these issues. At the least you can get it off your chest and it doesnt need to be an encrypted secret in the back of your hard drive. That'll put stress on anyone. Having to hide any porn stash for that matter I mean what was it Chris Rock was saying about the perfect ****? "Nobody's in the house... you don't have to worry about your wife coming down the hall..." Sneaking around about your sexuality is only going to put a strain on you.

Profiler

You are 22 years young so first of all don't get caught up in the rush that others around appear to be in. Take your time to understand and find out who you are.

As for your sexuality for want of a better phrase it sounds like you have a scratch you want to itch. You have to explore that part of who you are, who knows what road it will lead you down? but you have to find out.

All I can say is follow your heart, explore your feelings for this girl see where it takes you, but what ever you do remember that there is a place for you in this world, I guarantee that you will not go far in life before you find many a like minded person. There is probably more than one sub forum on Boards.ie that will be able to help you.

jdivision

xsiborg wrote: »

just explain to the girl and maybe ye might become trusted friends and she could be someone you could talk to and confide in.

I wouldn't do this in a million years tbh. Look, you like the idea of this girl. go out with her on a date, see how it goes. If things go well great, if they don't then try to go out with the next person you're attracted to whatever their sex