Funnies

rocky25

A woman found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the
Veterinarian.

He found that the problem was hair in its ears.

He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some 'Nair' hair remover.

At the register the druggist tells her,

'If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days.

The lady says: 'I'm not using it under my arms.'

The druggist then says:

'If you're using it on your legs don't shave
for a couple of days'

The lady says: 'I'm not using it on my legs either;

if you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer.'

And the druggist says:

'Stay off your bicycle for a week.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank Lampard has asked Drogba not to attend his mums funeral in case he dives in the box.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bloke goes to the doctor , suffering with premature ejaculation.

The doctor advises that every time he is about to shoot his pelt, that he fires a starter pistol to delay the ejaculation..... the bloke goes home to try this new method.

A week later he returns to the doctor

'So how did it go ? ' asks his doctor.

'Not too good ' replies the man.

' Me and the missus were having a 69, I felt myself start to cum so I fired the starter pistol.....my missus bit my c0ck off , shat on my face and the milkman came out of the wardrobe with his hands up ' !!

folan

i nearly wet meself with that Drogba one!