How?

LegacyUser

Im a bit of a fitness freak so im in the colleges gym a lot, and ive noticed this girl who is almost there as much as me who is really fit in more than one way. Ive only seen her twice outside the the gym.

She will come in with her mp3 player and spend about 30mins or so on the treadmill, then about 10mins doing her core muscle then leave.

*I might be reading a bit too much into this but anyway*
I was in there the other day after I finished college early (dam science course 9-6) so there was only about 7 or so people in the gym. She comes in and goes on the treadmill, then I go on the treadmill one away from her and to her left. I notice that when I look to my left I catch her turning back from looking at my direction but when I look right she never looks that direction so I put it to the test I look right then a minute later I look left but I look into glass and see her looking at me. Then when I was leaving I see her looking at me.

Im very shy when it comes to approaching women. Seeing that I have never seen her out and never see her around campus so the only place where I ever see her is the gym how am I going to approach her? What would I say?

Quality

There is so much to talk about.

The weather~? Joke that she is there almost as much as you?
Then ask her where she is from? What she is studying? What she thinks of her course? What year she is in? Surely she should have something to ask you back by then?

Just go for it... Life is too short for regrets!:D

Wibbs

exactly, just go for it. Hello is a start. It's easier than you think.

LegacyUser

Ask her to spot you on the bench press

Kelly O'Malley

Start with a smile.Most ladies are just as nervous as you are,it may help to remember that.
Don't worry about saying something dumb,even if you do you won't be shot for it.If she smiles back then your observation is correct - she has noticed you too.

Marksie

Cafecolur wrote: »

Ask her to spot you on the bench press

You know that, or something similar is not really such a bad idea. Breaks the ice, is neutral and opens the way for the beginnings of a conversation about a shared interst.

geminilady

yeah think she likes you! : ) just try and act natural! ya'll do grand maybe ask what course she is doing or something? good luck keep us updated!!

Nevyn

Well start by smiling at her when you catch her looking at you and make eye contact
cos startled deer impressions aren't that charming.

Dark Artist

Hey fitgym.

It's 10% what you say and 90% how you say it.

Confidence is No.1 with women. When people are nervous they tend to speak quickly and start fiddling so just relax, speak slowly and keep eye contact. If she feels you are not nervous at all around her, she'll think you're harder to get, which is a very, very, very, very, very good thing.

Remember that she's already attracted to you, so you really have nothing at all to worry about.

The opening line itself doesn't really matter. You could ask her about bus times, college events. Once the verbal border between you has been broken, it'll be easier to say something else to her, however sooner or later you want it to be.

RedXIV

Thaedydal wrote: »

Well start by smiling at her when you catch her looking at you and make eye contact
cos startled deer impressions aren't that charming.

+1
If you think you can catch her looking at ya, do it, make eye contact and give a cheeky grin. This gives an air of confidence and makes you look like a fun person. As stated earlier, if she's already sending looks your way, she's probably interested and if she's probably interested, it doesn't matter what you say. The main thing is to initiate contact. If ya want to get her out of the gym, ask her does she wanna go for a smoothie or something afterwards? (i say smoothie coz going for drinks would defeat the purpose of the gym i presume )

Tigger

tell her she looks great; sheesh
and smile while you do it then say stuff that allows her to talk about herself -they love that - then make plenty of eye contact and smiling and askher if she's been to some new place where they'll serve food she'd like. that you'd love to go but all yer mates eat lard sandwiches and would she come with you for the craic

if that works then ask back here for more advice or pm me for instructions from my new book: Tigger helps you release your inner tiger.
it gonna be on yer wans show on tuesday

AARRRGH

I think the best way to chat up a girl is to do it "by accident". I spent a lot of my early 20's chatting up women and it really works. (That's not a brag so please don't give out to me!)

A cheesy example:

You know sometimes when you are walking along a path, and there is someone walking towards you, and you both move to the left, and then to the right, and then it's kind of funny and you laugh at each other...

You want something simple like that to happen. An "accidental" excuse to laugh about something. Then later on you can casually start talking to each other ("I always see you here") because you've already broken the ice.

Maybe the above example isn't the best, but you get the idea.

When were used to go to pubs and try to meet girls, we used to leave our jackets next to the girls we wanted to score with, and would ask them if they minded us doing that. They would say no and we'd say cool and we'd maybe make some cheesy joke about something or other. The result was we'd already broken the ice so it was very easy to get talking and included in their group later.

I know the above might sound a bit sleazy, but the "by accident" approach really does work and it's good if you're shy because it all happens accidently...

Also, it puts the other person at ease because they don't feel they're being approached out of the blue.

Tigger

dublindude wrote: »

I think the best way to chat up a girl is to do it "by accident". A cheesy example:


I know the above might sound a bit sleazy, but the "by accident" approach really does work and it's good if you're shy because it all happens accidently...

Also, it puts the other person at ease because they don't feel they're being approached out of the blue.

op and others please don't try to confuse or accident or surprise a girl into a date
honesty compliments and the confidence to say hello is all you need

RedXIV

I think Dublindude is using the idea of accident as a means of breaking the ice, something the OP has yet to do. Asking for a date straight off doesn't usually have a high rate of success

stek

I'll bet she's polish and doesnt speak english!

Tigger

RedXIV wrote: »

I think Dublindude is using the idea of accident as a means of breaking the ice, something the OP has yet to do. Asking for a date straight off doesn't usually have a high rate of success

break the ice by telling her she looks good
then her talkjing about self

this whole tricks that break the ice thing is crap and my idea was after listening to her drivel talking about her reasons to be in the gym etc he could bring her to a new resturant that serves what she likes
this is just honesty and confidence and if she has been checking hiom out she probably cant believe this has taken so long

do it it will do
no tricks just man up

RedXIV

He won't though, otherwise he wouldn't be here looking for advice. The idea of using tricks to initiate conversation is perfect for people like the OP who are terrified of initiating contact. I know because i was like that for quite some time.

Also, i can tell you now, not every woman in the world is going to be impressed by a guy coming up to tell her she looks good. Especially if she's pumping sweat in a gym. I'd be far more inclined to go with a "trick" in this situation because the OP is naturally nervous, and most of the "tricks" leave you with a very easy to use "get out of there!" clause.

And NO woman is going to go out for a meal with a guy, straight after first convo, straight after the gym.

Overheal

To be honest tricks just sound like deception to me. But I do like the simple one of asking her to spot you on a bench press.

shy? Take confidence from the fact that she is checking you out

RedXIV

"tricks" is maybe a bad word to use, it does imply deception. "social tactics" might be better. But none of these "social tactics" are devised to take advantage of girls, more to help guys with confidence issues (who are generally nicer guys anyway) make the first step in talking to girls they like

Tigger

RedXIV wrote: »

He won't though, otherwise he wouldn't be here looking for advice. The idea of using tricks to initiate conversation is perfect for people like the OP who are terrified of initiating contact. I know because i was like that for quite some time.

Also, i can tell you now, not every woman in the world is going to be impressed by a guy coming up to tell her she looks good. Especially if she's pumping sweat in a gym. I'd be far more inclined to go with a "trick" in this situation because the OP is naturally nervous, and most of the "tricks" leave you with a very easy to use "get out of there!" clause.

And NO woman is going to go out for a meal with a guy, straight after first convo, straight after the gym.

not straight after just "in future"
i get whet yer saying about the nerves
women like to be complimented
get of of there clauses fdor who so that the fear of regection is lessened
how about the fear of not living well

Tigger

RedXIV wrote: »

"tricks" is maybe a bad word to use, it does imply deception. "social tactics" might be better. But none of these "social tactics" are devised to take advantage of girls, more to help guys with confidence issues (who are generally nicer guys anyway) make the first step in talking to girls they like

nicer than who
i'm nice i happen to be shy and retiring beneth my gruff tough exterior
your looking well red14 what type of food do you eat to stay so buff

RedXIV

Tigger wrote: »

get of of there clauses fdor who so that the fear of regection is lessened
how about the fear of not living well

lol ever approached a girl straight up and been shot straight down? Tis painful to a guy of shaky confidence as i found out at a tender 17. As a rule, from then on i set myself up with a handy get out clause if things were looking bad.

Fear of rejection is very hard to erase, took me years to do it. at the time the fear of not living well was the lesser of two evils. thats something the OP will have to learn on his own though

Tigger

RedXIV wrote: »

lol ever approached a girl straight up and been shot straight down? Tis painful to a guy of shaky confidence as i found out at a tender 17. As a rule, from then on i set myself up with a handy get out clause if things were looking bad.

Fear of rejection is very hard to erase, took me years to do it. at the time the fear of not living well was the lesser of two evils. thats something the OP will have to learn on his own though

i wasn't born confident i'd love to go back and coach my 16 year old self
but i can't so this is what i tell fit gym

RedXIV

As they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Oooo if i knew then what i know now.....

Tigger

RedXIV wrote: »

As they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Oooo if i knew then what i know now.....

this is my hind sight
i'm sharing it

AARRRGH

Hey my "accidental chat up" technique is just as much about putting her at ease as well as having an excuse talk to her.

It has nothing to do with tricking people. I think that's a really weird way of looking at it.

It's an ice breaker. That's all.

A lot of people would find it very weird if someone just walked up to them in the gym and started talking to them.

Dark Artist

I'd just like to point out that this 'trick' technique is actually a really good idea.
For those of you who are concered about honesty, well, make honesty your number one priority when chatting up women and see how far you get.

Giving her an outright compliment is a bad idea in my opinion, as you're giving her all the power to either reject or accept you in that instant. This turns women off big time. It's actually better to tease her a bit rather than compliment her. It's more interesting, a lot better for a laugh and it shows you have enough confidence in yourself to not resort to putting her on a pedestal.