I've hit the lowest point of my life.

LegacyUser

I feel i've hit the bottom most point of my life lately and i don't know how to get out of here. I've lost hope, fighting to get out of here seems pointless.
I've lost the only person that meant everything to me, the person i truly loved and i don't know if i can ever get over her. It even had to end in the most horrible way with her leaving me for this other guy. Leaving me completely broken, with no confidence and will to live.
I'm sabotaging every other aspect of my life in this rut too. I moved away from all the friends i had in college in the beginning and now i've got no friends in college. Hell, i doubt they were friends either, i moved away cuz i felt a little uninvited in the first place. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I think i am. I even hate my college now and there are a good few more years i need to survive in there. I can't even concentrate on my studies anymore cuz i've completely lost interest in my college. I'm doing the course i always wanted to but i'm failing all exams and its not good at all.

And this is the case with everyother aspect of my life. Sometimes i feel like drugging myself to get away from it all. If only i had access to any. Sometimes i wish i had. I hate my life right now. I just can't find anything good about it. I've got no friends, i've lost the one person who loved me and now i feel i can never get over her, i'm doing horrible in college and i even hate the place. Probably cuz i've got no friends in there. I'm lonely, i feel like giving into this all. I feel i'm bipolar. I feel like just accepting this as my fate and wasting this life away. Just completely indulging in this pain till i become numb and lose any sense of living. I've tried finding a new person to love but had zero success so now i even feel i'm gonna live alone for the rest of my life and die alone. Nothing seems to be working out in my life. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. This is horrible. I just don't know what to do. I'm a wreck... I wish i was dead...

seahorse

Would you not go and talk to a counsellor? You sound like you could really do with talking to someone who can help lift you out of this depression (and it is a depression, make no mistake) I think you should see your GP to discuss anti-depressants and get a referral for a good therapist. You are obviously very very low right now and really could do with some help. Please get it.

Whatever you do, do NOT take illegal drugs; if you think you are in hell now I can promise you an addicition would just amplify that a thousand times over, and when a person is at a very low ebb an addiction is the easiest thing in the world to cultivate. Please dont do that; it's the worst thing you could do to yourself right now.

anonymous_joe

What was said above is pretty much bang on.

I know how much heartbreak hurts, so all I can advise is this - don't take drugs, they won't help.

- Don't drink to numb the pain.

- Hang in there. You'll begin to see some hope eventually.

You really should see a therapist or a counsellor or something, it would probably help a lot to talk to people.

AARRRGH

Downpoint wrote: »

I feel i've hit the bottom most point of my life lately and i don't know how to get out of here. I've lost hope, fighting to get out of here seems pointless.

You've said it yourself: you've hit the bottom. This means the only way is up so things are only going to get better.

Downpoint wrote: »

the person i truly loved ... leaving me for this other guy.

Breaking up absolutely sucks balls, but honestly, it will get easier.

I went through a horrible break up. At the time I was getting panic attacks and couldn't concentrate on anything.

I remember it got slightly easier every week. Eventually it was fine.

Now it means nothing and I wonder what the hell I saw in her!

Be patient and keep yourself busy. If you have no friends now, you can make some by joining a human rights group. You'll also be outraged by the human rights abuses you'll see, so it'll occupy your thoughts and get your mind off your ex.

Downpoint wrote: »

I can't even concentrate on my studies anymore cuz i've completely lost interest in my college. I'm doing the course i always wanted to but i'm failing all exams and its not good at all.

This is normal. It'll take a while before you get back to normal.

Try not to drop out of college. Repeat the year if you can.

In a few years you'll regret dropping out of college over some bitch who left you for someone else.

Downpoint wrote: »

I hate my life right now. I just can't find anything good about it. I've got no friends, i've lost the one person who loved me and now i feel i can never get over her, i'm doing horrible in college and i even hate the place. Probably cuz i've got no friends in there. I'm lonely, i feel like giving into this all.

These are all temporary problems. Remind yourself of that. You can make friends by doing a night course, joining a human rights group (like I suggested above - there's a bonus too - human rights groups are full of women), etc.

Downpoint wrote: »

I feel i'm bipolar.

Most likely you're just going through a tough phase. It's temporary, so be patient and ride it out.

Tigger

Downpoint wrote: »

I feel i've hit the bottom most point of my life lately and i don't know how to get out of here. I've lost hope, fighting to get out of here seems pointless.
I've lost the only person that meant everything to me, the person i truly loved and i don't know if i can ever get over her. It even had to end in the most horrible way with her leaving me for this other guy. Leaving me completely broken, with no confidence and will to live.
I'm sabotaging every other aspect of my life in this rut too. I moved away from all the friends i had in college in the beginning and now i've got no friends in college. Hell, i doubt they were friends either, i moved away cuz i felt a little uninvited in the first place. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I think i am. I even hate my college now and there are a good few more years i need to survive in there. I can't even concentrate on my studies anymore cuz i've completely lost interest in my college. I'm doing the course i always wanted to but i'm failing all exams and its not good at all.

And this is the case with everyother aspect of my life. Sometimes i feel like drugging myself to get away from it all. If only i had access to any. Sometimes i wish i had. I hate my life right now. I just can't find anything good about it. I've got no friends, i've lost the one person who loved me and now i feel i can never get over her, i'm doing horrible in college and i even hate the place. Probably cuz i've got no friends in there. I'm lonely, i feel like giving into this all. I feel i'm bipolar. I feel like just accepting this as my fate and wasting this life away. Just completely indulging in this pain till i become numb and lose any sense of living. I've tried finding a new person to love but had zero success so now i even feel i'm gonna live alone for the rest of my life and die alone. Nothing seems to be working out in my life. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. This is horrible. I just don't know what to do. I'm a wreck... I wish i was dead...

bin there done that bought the tee shirt

that was 15 years ago now im engaged to a brilliant woman, i own my own business have no bank loans, all the toys i could want and a good circle of friends.


this is what you should consider doing

breath in and out fotr a minute
finish off this year but get a year off from a doctor just tell them you are worried and upest and that you want to take a year off then take what ever theyu write you to the head of course and explain that you need to take a year off to get re-motivated
go work in a crappy job with poeple in it and make some friends there that don;t know all the **** you just went through the world is closing in on you you need to step aside and lets it blast past.
after about five or six months you can decide whether to go for a new course via coa or back to you old course you'll realise college is a dream compared to not college

rember that you don't go looking for realationships you go looking for sex
realationships find you but take your time she wasn't the one she was a two timing fool who hurt you

breath a bit more

and go to a councillor if you want but really they will just tell you what i'm telling you - you have infinate options and if you aren't happy you can change at any time
but try to finish the year

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks for the replies people.

I don't really how what to do. I guess i'm just lonely. Well, it is lonely in here. Really lonely...
I do have a counselor but i dunno, it doesn't seem to work much for me. I guess i just can't find myself to open up properly to him. Maybe too afraid of him thinking i'm the biggest loser he came across. Still not over his ex even after about a year and lifeless kid with no friends... Hah!

I'm just sick of it all i guess. I tried liking my coll, i tried enjoying the day today, it ended **** with me thinking it'ld be better if i could somehow kill myself.
I think i've just given up on it all. Accepted this as my reality. This is me, i'm a loser, i've got no life. No friends, no one will love me, neither do i need it. I'm pretty mechanical in here. Just do my time n leave. Live alone, die alone. Life's great!!!
There is no God. If there's one, then he certainly doesn't like me or give a ****.

sorry.
/rant.

AARRRGH

You're being overly dramatic. You can 100% turn your life around and make something brilliant out of it. It'll just take some effort and a bit of will to do it. For example, you could move to China and teach English. Within a few months you'll be shacked up with some hot Beijing chick. Could do a lot worse than that...

corcaigh07

dublindude wrote: »

You're being overly dramatic. You can 100% turn your life around and make something brilliant out of it. It'll just take some effort and a bit of will to do it. For example, you could move to China and teach English. Within a few months you'll be shacked up with some hot Beijing chick. Could do a lot worse than that...

dublindude, thats not the worst idea ive ever heard! think they would let a 22 year old lad from cork teach english(or to quote tommy t, knackers trying to speak french!)

back on topic, just try and lift your spirits short-term and think about long-term later. focus on whats good about your life, family etc. find your real friends(you must have someone) and go for a drink or coffee with them. think about better times.

just be as positive as you can. you must have some hobbies. even if its something as plain as going to the cinema, go to the cinema and itll take your mind off things, even if it is just for a while.

**Timbuk2**

Please don't do anything drastic (drink, drugs, not turn up to college etc.)

We have all (yes even the happy people) have gone to really rough times, but just months later have felt very happy and glad we didn't make any decisions we regretted.
The thing is after a while you realise that you can blow things out of proption, i.e make mountains out of molehills

Your partner dumped and cheated you... is she really worth all this misery? The answer is no. If you ever run into her again, it would seem worse for her if you appeared happy and not moapy

Believe me, you may not have any friends now, but you definitely will not go through your whole life without them. Don't be reclusive - get involved in things and friends will eventually come automatically even if they don't come immediately. Besides, in the short term, you can survive without them for the moment

Also all the posters' advice from above applies!

the GALL

Why do we fall
So we learn to pick ourselfs up again
So she dropped you and life ain't gettin any better
well it probably won't but when you get over this hurdle and you will
you'll be stronger/better
Stand up and fight your demon's
it will change you
We all go thru dark places and they ain't nice but when we come thru them......we are bullit proof
stop thinkin about selfharm it's not the way
talk to people/talk here
people here will stand beside you and if not they'll stand before you
what ever your thinkin it aint so bad.

DU.LLAHAN

your young you will learn from this and it will make u a better person we all have choice's you can let it destory your life or it will make u a better person. we have all been there.

corcaigh07

to quote the great phil lynott(and this genuinely does help me sometimes if im feeling a little messed in the head about some baditch)--if that chick doesnt wanna know, forget her!

Tar.Aldarion

Happens mate, failed 2nd year due to stuff...
Don't drink to soothe you. Bottles of whiskey alone in your room should be save for happier times.
Best of luck, you will feel better.
Stay in college, repeat in summer.

LegacyUser

I've hit rock bottom in an identical fashion like 3 times now. Being in a relationship can easily lead to one losing touch with friends if you aren't careful. Aren't any of your old mates on Bebo or such? Just msg them and say 'long time, no see, want to get a pint?'

Friends is the first step. Volunteer, join a club, get a part time job somewhere, meet some mates. Once you have them, world be much brighter. Don't be focusing on getting a new girl now.

Failing school isn't that terrible - plenty do it. If just can't take **** seriously, take a year off and work or something.

Kelly O'Malley

We've all been where you are now.Horrible place huh?
What I try to do is get busy so I don't have time to remember how miserable I am.It requires some self discipline though as part of being in the deep dark hole is the feeling of no energy,being drained.

Get angry.It's better for you than depression.It passes faster too.
How DARE she treat you like that?Cow.:mad::mad::mad:
You deserve better and you will get better than her when the time is right.:mad::mad::mad:

chris85

corcaigh07 wrote: »

dublindude, thats not the worst idea ive ever heard! think they would let a 22 year old lad from cork teach english(or to quote tommy t, knackers trying to speak french!)

back on topic, just try and lift your spirits short-term and think about long-term later. focus on whats good about your life, family etc. find your real friends(you must have someone) and go for a drink or coffee with them. think about better times.

just be as positive as you can. you must have some hobbies. even if its something as plain as going to the cinema, go to the cinema and itll take your mind off things, even if it is just for a while.

Yes he could teach english if he wanted, its called TEFL (teaching english as a foreign language) and becoming very popular to do these days.

www.teflireland.com

OP, i think you need to change direction, maybe get out of college as it is not helping you. Have you got the support of family, if not, i suggest talking to a conseller or someone.

LegacyUser

Hi,
Sorry for the little spill last nite. I was just a little not too good. Though i'm not that much better today anyway. But i don't think i'm gonna go down the route of self harm and drugging myself. Though self-harm feels really tempting. I had once cut myself when i was with my ex and things wern't going smooth. My ex didn't like that and made me promise i'ld never do it again. She broke all the promises she made to me. For some reason i can't seem to break away from this one i made to her!
I had the best time of my life with her. She really loved me. It was the first time i felt true love at that level and i really believed we were forever. Cause we were just too perfect. I loved her more than anything else ever. She was my everything, she was the reason i used to wake up every morning. Now i can't find a reason to anything.

I don't think dropping out of college would be a good idea. I've worked quite hard to get to the point i'm at. I can't let some stupid issues ruin my life. Wow, sounds like there's still hope for the future!
But yeah, right now i'm just trying to spend maximum time studying as i've got exams next month. I don't wanna fail any more and add to my summer repeat exams. Though there's a lack of serious motivation but my feeling of disconnection should help me out i guess. Just setting up my own little reality around my workplace where i'ld spend the whole day. Atleast i'ld pass my exams!

Its just i don't know how long i can go on like this for. I see all the other people around me having a laugh, going out partying and all. I don't get involved in any of it. Mostly cause i'm never invited to anything and i'm not big into going out and getting drunk. I get bored very easily. I just don't wanna look back at my life and wish i had a more fun time, had more friends, had a proper relationship. I want it all. I just can't seem to have it.
I've just given hope in my college. I know all the people in there, they're not my time. I just can't seem to fit in there. Its a good college and i'm doing the course i wanted to but thats all i do in there. Apart from trying to study there, i've got a zero social life. Now i'm gonna be with these same people for the next few years so i know there's no hope in the future that anything is gonna work out with them.
I try to look for friends outside of my college, but then i just find myself walking by myself on the streets all the time. I go to this gym, even there i work out alone, i used to take music lessons and even there i was always alone even this one 6month long part time course that i did. I didn't make a single friend in there over the course of those 6months.
I'm not anti-social. Infact i love meeting new people and making friends, having a good time, doing fun things, going places n all. It just doesn't seem to be working out lately. I just can't seem to fit in anywhere. I thought it was the problem with the place i was in, but lately i've been feeling the problem is me.

seahorse

Would you think about getting a different counsellor? Often it takes a couple of trys before you find someone you can really talk to, and that makes sense because a counsellor is just a person like anyone else; you cant expect to walk into somebody's office and find that just because they're academically trained in psychotherapy that also they must be somebody you'll be compatible with - the two have no correlation at all. It really is a hit and miss affair and actually a person is very lucky if they happen to strike up a good working relationship with a therapist first time round.

Maybe a new counsellor would be the answer. Would you consider that?

Whatever you decide, dont be so hard on yourself. You will come through this, and just remember, you're not as alone as you think in this; everyone knows what it's like to feel lonely.

MIN2511

Kelly O'Malley wrote: »

We've all been where you are now.Horrible place huh?
What I try to do is get busy so I don't have time to remember how miserable I am.It requires some self discipline though as part of being in the deep dark hole is the feeling of no energy,being drained.

Get angry.It's better for you than depression.It passes faster too.
How DARE she treat you like that?Cow.:mad::mad::mad:
You deserve better and you will get better than her when the time is right.:mad::mad::mad:

^^^ Why are you calling her a cow? You don't know what happened, you only know one side of the story..... Try to be less judgemental!

OP, sad case but it gets better.... And believe me there will be more days when you don't think you can cope but you would be fine... I guess everyone is saying the same thing....
Maybe join a gym, do something you couldn't do while dating the ex....