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What crime should I commit?

  • 24-04-2008 8:32pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1


    I'm homeless and not coping and everyone is ignoring me. I want to commit some kind of crime so that people take notice of me (i.e. and I get help). I can't think of anything more original than breaking windows. Does anyone have any more original ideas?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    lust. nothing like a bit of self help when you arent coping


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,026 ✭✭✭Lockstep


    rape a small child. It will be both highly amusing and the kid will get some sweets out of it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,789 ✭✭✭Caoimhín


    Rape Bertie Ahern.
    That is bound to draw attention.....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,326 ✭✭✭Zapp Brannigan


    Suicide?


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,996 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    allaren wrote: »
    I'm homeless and not coping and everyone is ignoring me. I want to commit some kind of crime so that people take notice of me (i.e. and I get help). I can't think of anything more original than breaking windows. Does anyone have any more original ideas?

    Glue-ing small animals together would be pretty original!

    Or you could head on over to PI for a calmer approach...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,854 ✭✭✭zuutroy


    Regicide.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,226 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Suicide?

    Not a crime.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,244 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    Homeless people on tinternet ftw!


    Murder, shoot for the stars.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭bluto63


    Go into a garda station with a stripper police uniform. The rest will come naturally to you ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,854 ✭✭✭zuutroy


    Slow coach wrote: »
    Not a crime.

    Wikipedia made me lol
    lolwiki wrote:
    Suicide has historically been treated as a criminal matter in many parts of the world. Although a person who has successfully committed suicide might be thought to be beyond the reach of the law (since they are dead), there could still be legal consequences.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,893 ✭✭✭Davidius


    Scream "Falcon Pawnch!" followed by a firey punch to the person nearest to you. If they try to fight back insist that they show you their moves whilst saluting them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    zuutroy wrote: »
    Wikipedia made me lol

    seems ridiculous now, but having it a crime was thought to be a deterrent to suicide in case you attempted it but didnt succeed, as you could then be prosecuted. they used prosecute for attempted suicide in the past. (not every one, think local guards had some discretion)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    zuutroy wrote: »
    Regicide.

    If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one. ..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,473 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Beat seven shades out of a TD?

    Any will do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,087 ✭✭✭Duiske


    Make up a load of unfounded allegations against some country, then invade it !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Move to France, buy a pig and call it Napoleon. You'll be locked up before you can say Sacre Bleu.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,562 ✭✭✭connundrum


    Come over here and kick the **** out of the two young lads who insist that their game of 'kick the ball against the wall' is far more important than my sanity.

    Murder will also do.

    Raping them will be the last option.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    rape a small child. It will be both highly amusing and the kid will get some sweets out of it.

    ah yeah but he'd probably be called mr. L or somethin so people still wouldn notice him, and also he could claim he thought the child was older and then that wouldn be a crime now either!!

    draw a pic of you raping mohammed-that would get you noticed very quickly!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    connundrum wrote: »
    Raping them will be the last option.
    In case they like it and come back more often?
    Ask a garda if it's really true he has to let you take a sh*te in his hat if you really need to, don't wait for a reply, steal it and get down to business.
    Everybody will love you after that, except maybe the garda....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,905 ✭✭✭User45701


    If you are serious then kill several primitves, wait in town, anywhere, maybe templebar wait till you se somsone comit a crime and then kill them on the spot (assault/theft) Then after your arrest and explain you did it to clense the human race.

    Thats enough attention because the media would eat that up


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Arson will get you noticed and keep you warm.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,895 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    zuutroy wrote: »
    Regicide.


    no one's gonna take any notice of that degen's disappearance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    sorry i forgot to say you could also drive at 102 in a 100kph area-cert to get ya noticed/arresetd!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,174 ✭✭✭✭kmart6


    Start looking yp porn and tossing off to it in whatever internet cae/shop your in! Bound to give you one or two minutes while they kick you out!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,854 ✭✭✭zuutroy


    no one's gonna take any notice of that degen's disappearance.

    lol..:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Tone it down, guys. This isn't the Lolocaust.


This discussion has been closed.
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