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marraige crisis

  • 24-04-2008 3:39pm
    #1
    abablack1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Just found out my wife has been sending texts and having phone sex with a guy she use to work with,they were very sexual in nature and some phone pics were sent by both it s been going on for 18 months as soon as i am out of the house ,she said i never have any time for her,we hardly ever had sex or even a cuddle because i am watching the television etc she said it was exiting and kind of addictive once it got going she said it s never been physical all though i no she was at a reunion party and he was there,he s geeky and about 40 and i couldnt see her and him together in public if ye no what i mean,i went to his work to punch his lights out but he is on the road alot,rang him up and tried to get him to meet me but he is bricking himself ,i find it hard to believe her because of the lies and effort she put into keeping this going i want to get this guy back by kicking the **** out of him or at least telling his wife i admit i was a **** husband recently but dont think i deserved this,i no his name ph no and were he works should i look into finding out were he lives and give him the shock of his life when i introduced myself or just consantrate on rebuilding my marrige i cant stop thinkin he still has pics of my naked wife on his phone and want to delete these b4 they end up everywere how do i move on.

    cheers


Comments

  • #2
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    No violence. Marriage Councelling. That's all I think anyone can really recommend. Accord give them a call.


  • #3
    RealEstateKing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 432 ✭✭RealEstateKing


    pushing your anger towards him. You have been negelecting your wife, and she has sought a bit of harmless excitement elsewhere (assuming we are just talking about texts and stuff)

    If that's all she's done it's not that much more serious than having a **** while thinking about somebody else, or looking at a bit of porn on the 'net.

    You've got to deal with the more serious problem that's going on betwen you and your wife, thats whats important.


  • #4
    Gwenneh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33 ✭Gwenneh


    Do you want to fix it or do you want revenge?

    If you want the first, you can't have the second.


  • #5
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Leave the other guy out of the equation. This is about you and your wife. Thumping some other party isnt going to help your home situation even though I can tell you are mad as hell. If you stay calm now you will be 1000% glad you did later.


  • #6
    Jimmy Bottlehead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,122 ✭✭✭✭Jimmy Bottlehead


    Knocking the guy out won't undo the texts, or delete the pics. And even if you somehow made sure the pics were deleted, he seen her naked.

    And it's probably your fault, if you did indeed neglect your wife in favour of watching TV. She felt neglected and sought attention elsewhere.

    Now its up to you to man up, seek counselling, fix your marraige and show your wife all the reasons she fell for you in the first place. Prove yourself to her, and show her why she needs you more than him.


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  • #7
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    Am confused here...

    Your wife was a participant in this relationship? She sent the texts? And the pictures?
    Why are you trying to contact him..... Deal with the issues at hand=YOUR WIFE...
    You are willing to forgive her and work rebuild your relationship??? Have you really forgiven her? Forgiving means forgetting, can you do that? Would you use it to judge her in the future?
    Right, you two need to talk about this... and then see a counsellor about it


  • #8
    1_in_1,000,000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭1_in_1,000,000


    How old is your wife? And it's not all your fault either. There are two of ye and if she was feeling neglected she should have spoken to you about it. I also think if she has sent him naked pics there's probably been "meetings" beteen them. The other bloke is just taking advantige. Talk to your wife, but when a fella pulled the old not getting enouhg attention so I went elswhere for the hole one with me he got the boot hard and fast.


  • #9
    abablack1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭abablack1


    your all right do want to make this work and in the last 5 days we have been great until i mention some sort of revenge so will put that out of my mind and make this right,

    cheers


  • #10
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    abablack1 wrote: »
    your all right do want to make this work and in the last 5 days we have been great until i mention some sort of revenge so will put that out of my mind and make this right
    Good on ya.

    Good luck with it. Revenge is a natural urge, we all feel it at times. You just have to grit your teeth and resist it. :)


  • #11
    Star Lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    abablack1 wrote: »
    your all right do want to make this work and in the last 5 days we have been great until i mention some sort of revenge so will put that out of my mind and make this right,

    cheers
    Fair play. It's not only your best chance of saving your marriage, it's probably the only way that'll work.

    Fix the cause of the problem, the issues in your relationship.


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  • #12
    DublinWriter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,560 ✭✭✭DublinWriter


    abablack1 wrote: »
    your all right do want to make this work and in the last 5 days we have been great until i mention some sort of revenge so will put that out of my mind and make this right,
    Dude - the best act of revenge you could do on him would be to get yourself and the missus back on track.


  • #13
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    DublinWriter wrote: »
    Dude - the best act of revenge you could do on him would be to get yourself and the missus back on track.
    In a big way. Good luck with it.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #14
    topper75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    You and your wife are in love. She erred in a big way and maybe over the past you neglected to give her the attention she needed. The most difficult but at the same time most amazing part of love is foregiveness. The negativity is in the past i.e. the errors of your wife, your anger against this guy who is really irrelevant now as other posters have pointed out.

    The future is all positive - forgiveness, love and getting back together stronger than ever, paying more attention than ever to each others' needs. Enjoy it. Life is short - centre it on that someone special.


  • #15
    annie19
    Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭annie19


    i cant believe what i am reading!!! you might have been neglecting her a little bit but i mean........... a man works hard to earn a living and needs a rest. if she felt that way over such a long period of time she should have talked to you about it. in my opinion its not all your fault. id put it in % terms at 40. i would kick the living day lights out of him. you should at least confront him, and get his side of the story. no offence to ur wife but she might have left out some details. she is trying to blame YOU for her actions and make you feel guilty, my friend that is just not right. she is an adult and knew what she was doing. if you had not found out, would it have gone further????
    she has alot of explaining to do. for a marraige to last i think there has to be trust and its for you yo decied it you can trust her from now on.
    good luck


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