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Why do i feel like this?

  • 24-04-2008 3:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    A bit of background.... Im 25f mairred 1.5 yrs been with my husband since i was 17.

    Over the last few weeks i have been feeling like crap and just want to walk away from my life i really just cant cope anymore.

    Basicly myself and the husband are in debt that we cant afford to pay back. I recently got a second job to try and clear the bills and work about 80hrs per week just to make ends meet. My husband just doesnt seem to be helping he is self employed and while some weeks he earns enough others he does hardly any work and then goes away with his sports team.... I have asked him to pull he weight and he keeps saying he will but does nothing... All my friends are like how can you work your bo**ox off and he is at home or gone for a drink?

    I have been physically sick and been to the doctors a few times just dont feel like i can cope anymore...

    Any suggestions?


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Then dont keep trying to cope alone anymore. You dont say what your outgoings are or what your financial debt is, but a good place to try would be MABS. Even if all you do is chat to them, they may help you make sense of your finances.

    It sounds as if your husband doesnt have a sense of reality when it comes to money, even though he is self employed. If his work is not earning him enough money, for whatever reason, he needs to realise that he cant keep doing it as a hobby as and when he feels like it. He needs to earn consistently.

    Also his inconsiderate attitude towards you needs to be pointed out to him in a firm way. Id say he doesnt realise how put upon you feel, and you need to tell him in no uncertain terms. Dont avoid all these issues in order to maintain calm. Youll crack under the strain, youre already doing too much which is probably why you feel so out of control. You need to start talking about all this to him, and involving counselling if possible, to help you both reestablish what you want from marriage, and how you move forward, and to get you over this current financial problem.


  • #3
    merritt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭merritt


    You are physically exhausted and mentally stressed. This is your body is telling you that you need to look after yourself.

    I have no idea what to do about your husband. Could he be in denial at the seriousness of the situation? Is that his way of coping?

    Delegate. If he's not sensitive enough to pick up on how frazzled you are, give him tasks that you expect him to do (shopping, cooking, cleaning etc).

    It sounds like he is living in cloud cuckooland and is lucky to have a conscientious hard-working partner like you.


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