Marrage Proposal Question

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Quick one,

I have fallen head over heals with a girl I met only 6 Months ago, I know this is very quick, but I feel that she is the one. Now I was thinking on asking her to Marry me at her Birthday in a month or two's time. I am wondering is this too soon??? Whats everyones opinion???

What have others done? have they proposed after a short period of time? or is this a mistake and I should wait for another 6 months before asking etc?

Regards,

Marrage Proposal Question

LegacyUser

I think it's fantastic that you've met someone who you're so mad about.

My advice would be:
- talk about marriage, kids etc and gauge her views on it;
- gauge when/if she'd like to get married

Her comfort in discussing these issues with you will more than likely indicate her feelings on the subject.

The most important thing here is, if you go ahead, to make sure it's the right step. No good scaring the poor girl away now if, had you waited another 6 months, she'd have said yes

Best of luck though. Good to know there are still some romantics left out there! xxx

Reku

If you're sure I don't see why not, might be best to "feel her out" on the topic first though so she doesn't end up worried you're some sort of psycho. Also I'd avoid doing it while in a group, wait until some time you're alone together, that way there's far less embaressment and social pressure on the girl.

tolosenc

Do you think she feels the same? And what's telling you she's the one.

You don't want to scare her off, but neither do you want to let her get away. It's too tough a call, for me to make for you, but think long and hard about it. You know what they say: marriage isn't something you should rush into.

The Hill Billy

OP - That's a tough one. You don't tell us how old you both are for a start; Whether you are living together yet; your experiences of long term relationships, etc. It may help allow us give you a more informed response.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am in my 30's and so is she.

I have had quite a few long term relationships in the past, like everybody from teens to twenties etc... and I never felt this kinda connection that I feel now.

We have talked about all kids and stuff yes, but in a very subtle way.

I do not live with her, but we spend quite a bit of time togeather.

I hope I am not wearing rose tinted glasses but this relationship is just not complicated like others I have had.

Has anybody proposed in such a short time?? 9 months approx is my proposed time frame from meeting.

I want to suss stuff out prior to asking its just I wanted to know if anybody else had done the same as I am proposing and what success and failures that they had??

MarrageQ

MIN2511

It's never too soon for anything... go for it... if she says no.. then she's not that into you!

We ask to many questions, she alone can answer this question

keep us posted! And congrats!(i.e. assuming it's a yes )

The Hill Billy

MIN2511 wrote: »

We ask to many questions, she alone can answer this question

QFT

Beruthiel

MIN2511 wrote: »

if she says no.. then she's not that into you!

That's more than a bit of a leap isn't it?
She might be into him big time and still think that 6 months is a bit soon to be deciding on whither you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.

IMO it takes more than 6 months to truly know a person and I for one wouldn't even consider getting married to someone I knew for such a short length of time.

nevaeh-2die-4

I dont want to sound cynical but give it a bit more time, if a girl asked me to marry her after 6months, I would run like linford christie.

as u are both in ur 30`s i would say she would jump at the chance being old cliché of woman wanting children & getting married as u say she is in her 30`s the biological clock is going really fast.

So I reckon ur a shoe in

Good luck

NoQuarter

whats the rush????

Colonel_McCoy

What about moving in first????

LegacyUser

Hi all,

About whats the rush, I am not in my teens anymore, I am in love, and I feel so comfortable in this relationship.

about moving in, I have lived years with girlfriends in the past. It is a natural thing to do but its also helpful to get to know someone, its just I've never felt this way even at the beginning of other relationships etc.

I find that yes its a good idea to move in togeather, but I'm not into the idea of waiting years, no clock ticking here we are still young at 31 :-)

MarrageQ

nevaeh-2die-4

MarrageQ wrote: »

but I'm not into the idea of waiting years, no clock ticking here we are still young at 31 :-)

MarrageQ

31 is young for a man, but very old for a woman

im only breaking balls take no notice!!

MIN2511

Beruthiel wrote: »

That's more than a bit of a leap isn't it?
She might be into him big time and still think that 6 months is a bit soon to be deciding on whither you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.

IMO it takes more than 6 months to truly know a person and I for one wouldn't even consider getting married to someone I knew for such a short length of time.

Is it really? Sometimes we need time to decide and most times we don't. I don't see an issue with him ready to marry her after 6months of dating... I hope she feels the same way about him... why wait?
Life is unpredictable, very few people dont know what they want and OP clearly wants to marry. If she says no then she better have a GOOD reason for not wanting to get married to him.

NoQuarter

well whether you get married or not you'll be the same age in the same relationship, not much will change so i would wait for at very least a year.

on the other hand if you were expecting a child it would be wise to get married from a legal perspective!

sam34

my 2 cent worth is that its way too early, ye are still in the honeymoon period.if a guy proposed to me after 6 months i'd run a mile

NoQuarter

MIN2511 wrote: »

... why wait?

to be sure??? could save a lot of hassle etc in the long run...

at the end of the day 6 months is a very very short time to know someone! best of luck to the OP though, your in a good situation being head over heels!

MIN2511

To be sure of what? Everyday people are getting divorced after years together, how sure can we ever be of another human being except ourselves...

QF to be sure, is just saying he doesn't know what he wants

geminilady

i think it is abit too soon, its great u met someone u love but i would wait another bit longer.

stek

This is how to spell Marriage..

Suzette

I don't think it's too soon. If thats what you want then go for it.

My boyfriend and I moved in together after 5 weeks and we are still together three years on.

barbiegirl

Go for it. You have much the same chance as a couple who've known one another for ever. Ask if she says it's too soon, say fine, wait another 6 months try again :-) Life is too short to hang around if you know something is right. I know what you mean about it feeling uncomplicated and right, if it's there it's there from the start, it feels completly different.
Also I don't think she'll want to rush things just cause she's 31, no girl should settle no matter what. Today if she wants a baby she can get a sperm popsicle , have a one night stand, a gay friend whatever, babies don't have to be done traditionally. I hate the thought that anyone might think she should settle and think herself lucky cause she's over 30.

deisemum

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

I dont want to sound cynical but give it a bit more time, if a girl asked me to marry her after 6months, I would run like linford christie.

as u are both in ur 30`s i would say she would jump at the chance being old cliché of woman wanting children & getting married as u say she is in her 30`s the biological clock is going really fast.

So I reckon ur a shoe in

Good luck

I met my husband over 20 years ago and I proposed to him 5 months after meeting. We are married 18 years and very happy. He still floats my boat

badolepuddytat

Go for it, would try staying with each other at weekends etc just to get a trial run at living together though. Best of luck!;)

Zaph

Putting aside the question of whether it's too soon or not, I would suggest that if you do ask her you don't do it at her birthday if there are other people around. If it's just the two of you away for a quiet romantic weekend, fair enough. But if there are other people around it puts undue pressure on her to say yes/make a decision, and in the awful event that she says no you probably wouldn't want that to happen in public.

Nevyn

" If you want to know me come and live with me"

Move in and try living with each other for 6 months and then propose.

StormWarrior

An ex proposed to me after we had been together about a year. Luckily I said it was too soon. When I got to know him better I realised it would have been a HUGE mistake. That's just me though. Personally, if a bloke proposed to me after only knowing him 9 months, I'd be a little freaked if we hadn't had a full discussion about our plans and hopes in life first. I think you should first discuss with her in detail what she wants as far as marriage, kids and everything else in life goes. This is also a good way to subtly sound out if she's interested in marrying you without freaking her out and risking rejection. If your views on life match and she doesn't freak out from this conversation, then by all means ask her.

Also I agree with the poster above. Don't ask her in public or on her birthday.

Chinafoot

If you want to propose, do it. That doesn't mean you need to rush into getting married straight away.

I know a couple who got engaged after 4 months, moved in together and waited another year before getting married.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

seahorse

Sorry but this sounds like madness to me, and I'm speaking from experience here: I also *knew* I wanted to marry my ex-fiancee six months into the relationship; only thing I ever knew surer than that was that I had to get the hell away from him.

biko

Too soon.
After 12 months, move in together. If you still want to, ask her to marry you after living together a year.

chuci

hi op id say your still on the honeymoon period and looking at the relationship through rose tinted glasses. if you have your own house maybe get her a key cut or ask her to move in with you?if she is meant for you she wont be going anywhere op.

Carrigart Exile

MarrageQ wrote: »

Hi all,

Quick one,

I have fallen head over heals with a girl I met only 6 Months ago, I know this is very quick, but I feel that she is the one. Now I was thinking on asking her to Marry me at her Birthday in a month or two's time. I am wondering is this too soon??? Whats everyones opinion???

What have others done? have they proposed after a short period of time? or is this a mistake and I should wait for another 6 months before asking etc?

Regards,

Marrage Proposal Question

Give it another 12 months, let the giddy feelings subside a little and see what level of love is there once you are calmer. There's an old saying which remains valid to this day, 'marry in haste, repent at leisure'

Pythia

Everyone's relationship is different. I'd say if the hints haven't met with any hesitation then go for it. I'd just make sure to put the wedding off for a little while and move in.
Some people don't get married for 5 or ten years, some get married after one.
I think it's really down to you and her, but I do think as you're a bit older it's best not to wait too long.

ambro25

Proposed after 1 month, been together 15 years, happily married for last 12.

Cliché'd in the extreme of course, but you ony live once, so don't let life pass you by: you can always pick up the pieces later if it doesn't work out... or be left wondering "what if" for ever more

bored and tired

I would ask her to move in with you,

Get to know all the nasty habits like does she squeeze the toothpaste from top or bottom, give out like hell if you leave the toilet seat up or my personal pet hate and will eventually lead to our divorce, the other half buttering toast and scraping the excess butter back into the butter tub complete with crumbs and burnt bits yugh.
then if you are still madly in love, propose at christmas new years or valentines day,

Kooli

I agree with what other posters have said about you being in the honeymoon period. I don't just say that because it's only been 6 months (although I do think that's a seriously short time, and in my experience I've still been in the honeymoon period after that long) but also because you say this relationship is uncomplicated. I wonder if this means that you haven't really argued, or that you haven't really hit any serious bumps in the road that have tested things. You won't go through life like that, so I think it's important to know how your OH fights, how they handle the rough times, how you both manage the lows in the relationship, not just the highs.

I'd question the rush of it - are you worried about losing her? Why not wait another 6 months? Do you not believe you would feel the same way then, and be even MORE solid? Why wouldn't you want to live together first?

lauratkd

king-stew wrote: »

well whether you get married or not you'll be the
on the other hand if you were expecting a child it would be wise to get married from a legal perspective!

Please tell me you don't actually mean that!

Anyway, aside from that, I think Chinafoot has it in one. If you want to do it, just do it. You are the only one who truly knows how you feel about her and in your 30's I can't imagine you're going to dive into something on a "honeymoon stage" feeling. I did like the advice to gauge her opinion on things though.

I don't understand why everyone is telling you to wait another 6 months or 12 months bla bla bla!!! There are no set timeline rules for these. Some people can be together for years and then realise it's not right. Luckily you sound like you in the other category - together a short time and know it's right.

Again as had been said before, you don't have to get married straight away, you then have time to settle into the idea of spending the rest of your lives together before you actually go ahead and tie the knot.

Do keep us posted though, I'm well excited about this!!!

AARRRGH

MarrageQ wrote: »

I was thinking on asking her to Marry me at her Birthday in a month or two's time. I am wondering is this too soon??? Whats everyones opinion???

You don't know this girl. It takes a lot longer than 6 months to know someone.

What's the rush anyway?

Spend a few more years getting to know her, and then ask her to marry you.

Kelly O'Malley

Why the big thing about getting married?
Fair enough,she's the great love of your life and you want to spend the rest of your life with her,but why do you want to get married so fast?
If she loves you as much as you love her she'll be sticking around.
There's plenty of ways to commit to each other without the wedding.Buy a house together,have children together,love each other.
Marriage is no guarantee of permanence any more,that can only be attained by the desire of both parties to work at their relationship.
Get engaged if you must,that'll get the world off your back, but please hold off on the wedding!:cool:

SarahSassy

You are very lucky to have found someone you feel this way about... I would agree with sussing her out about the future and if she sees you in it. We ladies tend to think men are committment phobes and she is probably thinking that marraige / committment has not even crossed your mind yet... As such, maybe she has not given it much thought herself...

I know people who were married within 3 months of meeting and are still married 40 years later and other couples who waited 8 years and are since broken up. There are no rules... You are in your 30's and I do think this helps in that you know what you DONT want in a relationship and after 6 months you would have seen something to put you off if it was there...

I am not suggesting you put it off for long but just bear in mind that she may not have considered it and may not know what to think if you just pop the question. I would also propose in private...

LegacyUser

HI all,

Thank you for all your replies.

I'll take all your advice, and I am going to wait till christmas.

Its good to hear that people have followed their heart too and taken the plunge when they felt it was right not when people told them it was right and it worked out for them.

That in toe, and still thinking what everybody said, i am going to wait another 8 months / wait till christmas/new year to ask.

MarrageQ