Love life advice.

LegacyUser

Hi,

This is kind of an embarrassing post for me, but i'm gonna go with it. Because I just need an outside perspective.

I'm 21, been going out with my girlfriend for about a year. We were both virgins, and have been having regular sex for the past 10 months.

She's totally 100% happy with my performance never a complaint. I can always get her to climax.

However, I'm not happy with my performance!

I use plenty of foreplay etc and it always works a treat.

The problem is, I don't really last the penetration part of the night. I last about two mins tops. And we're wouldn't be going hammer and tongs at it in those two mins either.

I've discussed it with my girlfriend and she's totally happy. She's almost annoyed because it bothers me when it's not an issue for her.

Here's the thing, I just don't feel like I have full control over when I ejaculate. I mean, after about 1.5 mins I can feel it about to go, then I can last another another bit before I go.

Also, I don't feel like I've ever orgasmed. I mean nothing in comparison to my girlfriend.
I've never felt anything like what the sensation is supposed to feel like. I just ejaculate and thats it.

So basically, because I've no other experience. I don't know is what happening to me normal.

Is the whole penetration part of sex meant to be that short?
Is it normal for me not to have any big feeling after ejaculation that I feel could be described as an orgasm?

Originally I thought it was all in my head and that I was getting too stressed and thinking about it too much. Also, I thought that it was to do with my total inexperience. But after ten months of no improvement, in a totally relaxed improvement i'm a little bit concerned. But I don't think about it really, because my girlfriend is so cool about the cool thing. I just want to find out if this is normal, and if not, what should I do.

Teddi

hey man...

what your experiencing happens to alot of guys so dont think theres something wrong with you

there are some little things that you can do to prolong the feeling before orgasming....many do the "think of your gran" option where you think of something that puts you off....slowing down the feeling of ejaculation (not preferred....lol)

the best advice I can give is to vary your tecnique and take your time in doing it...I know that you said you werent going hammer and tongs at it..but you know that building up feeling you get?....the second you start feeling it...slow down straight away...or stop all together then start up again, altering your positions will help with this and seeming that your g/f seems so great about it im sure that she'd be willing to try.

variation is the key word here...

hope it works out for you

teddi

Miss Fluff

Google the squeeze method OP and you will get lots of info on that. It basically involves squeezing the head of the penis for a few seconds just prior to when you feel you are going to ejaculate. It will mean stopping and starting again but will prolong sex for you.

challengemaster

This may sound silly.. but iTunes can help..

If you check the iTunes store, there's loads of podcasts about sex and the likes. Some have tips which would be regards lasting longer..and others are just general advice.. check it out anyway, It may help

colly10

@the op - The only advice I can give you is to masturbate much more, if you think your probably going to have sex that night then do it before you leave the house and if that doesn't do the job then do it that morning as well.
Also if it helps try to detach yourself a little bit mentally early on (in the first 2 mins) if you can (obviously this would not be something you would allow to show), once you last for a bit then it will get easier

If she's happy though you don't have much to worry about

Pub07

A 100% guaranteed solution to your problem, if you wanna go this route, is pop a viagra or cialis pill. I know a good few guys using this stuff recreationaly, including myself. You'll last for ages and have much more control over when your gonna finish up.

Beruthiel

Pub07 wrote: »

A 100% guaranteed solution to your problem, if you wanna go this route, is pop a viagra or cialis pill. I know a good few guys using this stuff recreationaly, including myself. You'll last for ages and have much more control over when your gonna finish up.

Banned for not reading the rules of this forum and for giving medical advice.
B

Marksie

OK... now. Performance issues as regards penetrative sex a lot of people do have.

Miss Fluff talks about the squeeze technique. there is also pC muscle conditioning. Also practice the "stop and start" technique. When you masturbate bring yourself almost to the point then squeeze and stop, repeat and rinse as they say.
over time you will begin to have more control over your ejaculation.

Another method to try is to keep the body relaxed and breath deeply. If you think of what happens when you orgasm and ejaculate your bretah shortens and your muscles tense, you also move faster.

So relax, breath deeply, and go slow.

Right LOL, i know posters are waiting for this: Why are you focussed on the penetrative aspect?
It is only a very very small part of lovemaking.

But to answer your question about orgasm. the "standard" male response is orgasm then ejaculation a few seconds later, not the other way around. There is then a recovery phase.
The female genital orgasm is different (note i use the word genital as there are several types..for both sexes)

It is possible to expand the male orgasm so that a) you do not ejaculate and can thus become multiorgasmic.
b) you can spread the sexual energy and have whole body, subtle body and the like as well as genital orgasm... in effect having similar ecstatic responses to a woman.

If you partner is getting annoyed because its an issue for you then listen to her, she is telling you something.

If you like and you talk about foreplay, practice the squeez, stop start etc. and get her to do it!!!!!!!!. She will be delighted to be sharing in such a way and you will ahve a wonderful time while learning.

Do try and get out of your own head with this

allybhoy

Hmm...

Well if your gf says she is happy then maybe she is, but personally I would suggest that if you werent happy with ur performance, then immediately try and improve, you will definately go longer the next time round. Like the old saying "as soon as you fall off the horse...."

aye

OP read this.

http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html