finding life a stuggle

lostguy

Hi,
I started a new job 12 months ago, doing something that I trained for. I was excited about it as it is something I like doing, and I have not been doing it in 2 years.I have done alot of crappy jobs in my time.I think alot of this has to do with my confidence, I am a very shy person and sometimes I think I come across as being rude because of this. One thing I know for sure I know that I am a good person and I am extremely hard working and very honest, anyone who knows me does not have anything bad to say about me.My new boss is brillant,But the problem is I am making alot of mistakes in my job, and I feel like I am letting him down, we had a meeting last month about this, and I am trying so hard to not mess up, This week I felt that he was going to give me the "talk" and ask me to leave, I know people are starting to talk behind my back as they are getting fed up with my mistakes. I don't think I will ever be great at what I do. and to leave my job, I know I will find it hard to get another. I have a mortgage and to loose my job would leave me in alot of trouble. I just find working life a constant stuggle, I'm grown up now and all my friends are successful and make good money at what they do, just makes me sad that I work so hard in life, but I find it alot harder than other people to get by.

badolepuddytat

Without knowing the sector you're working in it's hard to advise but here goes. Your boss knows you're struggling, yet presumably your positive factors (hard working, honesty) are obvious as well. If you can figure out a strategy relative to your sector to guard against mistakes (checking with a colleague, extra training, time management so you're not pressured into doing things quickly), maybe you should approach your boss and say ''this is what I plan to do to resolve this problem, what do you think, do you have any other suggestions?"

You say you're shy and this may come across as rudeness, nobody minds anyone making a mistake but if they think someone's rude on top of that they are more prone to criticize and less likely to provide support. Is there anyone influential and nice that you could confide in and ask for advice? Nothing like acknowledging someone's experience for getting people onside! Try not to let past career hiccups knock your confidence, everyone's had these and the fact that you care about doing your job well is going to mean a lot to your boss and colleagues. Hope this helps.

lostguy

I work in IT repair, maintaining contracts etc. I just think that maybe I am not cut out for it. but I am not in a position to pack it in as I have bills to pay, its just that I feel usless I actually like doing it but I am not doing a good job. maybe I am not clever enough to be in a job like this. I'm just fed up of things never working out.my confidence is very low I have never really had much, all i can do is do my best. it's just a bit of a rant really.but hey that's life some are winners some are losers.

Caoimhín

it's just a bit of a rant really.but hey that's life some are winners some are losers

That's possible but hard work and persistence will do the trick too. I didn't know what i was doing for at least a year when i started. Your boss seems like a cool guy so maybe you could ask for help. I would respect someone for asking for help more than a lad who wont and tries to bluff his way through.

barbiegirl

Ok I used to work with IT repair guys, I was the sales girl. Anyway I'd put together a list of where you feel you are lacking, look up courses on the net, pick one that will help and approach your boss about doing it. It'll be cheaper for him than hiring someone new. I'm sure you are well capable of doing the job you just need confidence in yourself and 3 years in IT is a long time, since you graduated. Make sure you read the industry mags, keep on top of things that way, join discussion boards for help on particular problems.
Ultimately though discussing all of this with your boss is the way forward. Also as someone who can be very shy privately, suck it up, smile at everyone, ask how their weekend was tomorrow, take an interest in them, whenever you go to make tea or coffee for yourself ask if anyone else wants some. The samle when heading for a sambo etc. Whenever I feel I was inadvertently rude to someone I go back and apologise it counts for a lot.
Remember everyone has bad periods in work it's about facing them, putting a rescue package in place and then just doing it. You'd feel a lot worse if you gave up without a fight.

badolepuddytat

Op, do you actually like what you do when it's going well? Nothing like feeling stuck in something you don't like to knock your confidence for six. For shyness and people skills maybe something like toastmasters might bring you out of yourself. If you're not happy in your career, can you do a night course to branch out of it? If you already have some qualifications in x then an evening course remotely linked to what you're into can provide a way into it. It sounds like there's a lot of variety in your job, therefore lots to learn, don't be so hard on yourself. If you're working towards gaining the skills/knowledge to do your job better or else doing something else to change your career path that'll give you confidence either way.

Overheal

Might it be the case that things are going otherwise so well for you that you're worried about losing it? This might be causing you to be a little wound up and attribute to these mistakes. Try to spend less time worrying.

lostguy

thanks for the replies guys reallly appreciate it.I am a worrier always have been.I need to step it up a gear, which I am going to start reading up and try to become a major geek for the next few months. It is the first job in a while that I have had that i feel appreciated when I do well. Being a person who is shy, I do naturally lack confidence I have tried to combact it, but I now accept that it is just my make up.I find it hard to get jobs and I really hate interviews. for someone who is not shy and is confident would find this a walk in the park ,it is not so for some.

Fifilefleure

Hey OP - this is what I got from your post - just throwing in my 2cents worth - not only are you over worrying but also mentioned that you are shy & you seem to think that is affecting your work arwell. As the previous posters say - confide in someone influential, better time management, double checking your work etc. However people prob pick up on your lack of confidence in yourself. Maybe take up an evening class or sport or something in the evenings that is not work related. Nothing better to help get over shyness than actually walking into a class full of strangers & attempting a new skill. You can always not return if you don't like it HOWEVER remember that the class is generally full of people in the same boat of you! Who knows what friends, personality traits you will discover. Worse case senario - you end up with a new skill!! Good luck

Redpunto

It takes a while to get the hang of a new job, especially if youve only been studying it up till then and not actively in the work force. As long as you learn from your mistakes and try to be confident in what you do. The less confidence you have the more mistakes youll make.

RedXIV

I could be wrong OP but i think the issue to be dealt with here is the shyness and lack of confidence. You seem to enjoy what you do and although you are hitting bumps on the way, every job has a learning curve, so don't feel bad about it.
I'd def suggest doing something to build up your confidence though. As stated earlier, taking the guts to sign up for night classes or a sport or martial art or something will introduce you to a whole new group of people and this experience coupled with your newly learned skills can only benefit you.

As someone with confidence issues in the past, i can assure you that they are beatable. I actually found chatting online in chat rooms a great way to build up social skills. The idea of keeping a conversation going is a fundamental block in social situations and from here you can only improve.