Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Please check these two sentences

  • 20-04-2008 2:23am
    #1
    delila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    I need to know about the grammar and the punctuation. I'm really concerned about the commas. Thanks in advance!



    1) I am what most would consider, the mature employee seeking to transition from the private sector to the public.

    2) I believe that my strong communication and interpersonal skills would serve this group well, and that I could be a positive influence on them.


Comments

  • #2
    rockbeer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,422 ✭✭✭rockbeer


    delila wrote: »
    I need to know about the grammar and the punctuation. I'm really concerned about the commas. Thanks in advance!
    1) I am what most would consider, the mature employee seeking to transition from the private sector to the public.

    I am what most would consider a mature employee, seeking to transfer from the private sector to the public.

    You don't actually need a comma at all in this sentence, but it's quite long and inserting one after 'employee' makes it more readable. Where you had it before, after 'consider', was definitely wrong.

    'Transition' is a noun which, in the modern way of things, you've used as a verb. This is grammatically incorrect, but so many people do it nowadays that you'd probably get away with it.

    I assume you've deliberately used the definite article in 'the mature employee'. To my mind that usage would suit an essay or article. However, I'm guessing this is part of your CV or a job application, in which context I'd be inclined to say 'a mature employee' in order to avoid universalizing your description of yourself.
    delila wrote: »
    2) I believe that my strong communication and interpersonal skills would serve this group well, and that I could be a positive influence on them.


    I believe that my strong communication and interpersonal skills would serve this group well, and that I could have a positive influence on it.

    The comma is fine here. The group, however, is singular, so you could be a positive influence on it rather than them. It might sound better to say you could have a positive influence on it rather than be one.


  • #3
    nicowa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 700 ✭✭✭nicowa


    +1, I concur! :P


  • #4
    J.O'B
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭J.O'B


    a positive influence on it.

    "on it" is a bit loose.


    I would suggest -

    I am certain that my strong communication & interpersonal skills would have a postive influence on the group and that I can build good, trusting relationships with each member.


  • #5
    emma peel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭emma peel


    A general rule of thumb for commas that has served me well as a writer is to read your work out loud. Wherever your voice comes to a natural stop, you need a comma. It's never failed me yet.


Advertisement