boyfriend trouble

amy85

hey guys!just looking for sum advice really.. my b/friend and i are goin out nearly two yrs now.. weve had our ups and downs and gone through a lot as a couple but have always got through things and stayed together.. he used to live beside me but then his work took him to another county and we only get to see each other maybe once a week,sumtimes not even.. our days off always overlap so sumtimes its only a few hours we get to see each other... things have become very strained with us recently over this,and today i told him i wanted a break to sort my head out cause i was starting to feel very different bout him,now i dont no if i have done right thing or not. im so upset and so is he. sorry for such long post,just wondering has anyone ever gone through this before.any advise wud be apprieceted. thanks

Cmol

I am in the exact same situation as you, although he's the one who needs to sort himself out and we were actually living together.... sorry not much help to you but it might help to know your definitely not the only one in this situation!!!

amy85

thanks cmol.. my head is just so wrecked from all this..we have just come back from holidays aswell and i taut that it wud bring us closer together but it didnt feel right sometimes. i do love him, but we have just lost the closeness we had and it feels like im with a stranger at times.. it sucks big time.. hes trying his best to get back to me since new years but theres not much on the job scene at the moment so hes finding it tough.. he regrets taking the job in first place now

Aunty Nannie

hey there, my guy lives in another county for 2 yrs & its a pain sometimes but i tell myself its not forever, it does cause arguments at times but the main thing is to keep the communication channels open, i know you might feel like your head needs space but if you are both miserable you need to talk about whats going on between you, you need to address the issues that are causing the strain rather than trying to work things out on your own..

Hellm0

My girlfriend and I live about 23 hour's drive away, it can be difficult at time's. The way I get through it is by simply not looking into the future or making predictions, I love my girlfriend dearly and I want to be with her and this is the way things have to be right now( although I'm not happy with it, that's the way it is and I can deal with that). If your not happy with the situation then I suggest you re-think it and act accordingly.

amy85

we had huge row last nite and he left this morning and i never said goodbye to him. it was eating me up inside all day long in work.. i just dont no what im feeling anymore.. sumtimes we can get on so well and sometimes we just get so annoyed at each other and it kills me inside.. i just want a quick fix really but i no thats not gonna happen

Cmol

Honestly, you sound so much like me reversed!! The morning he left we had had a row and he never said goodbye to me...
Im probably the worst person to be posting on this!! Basically the way I see it is he just needs to figure out if he's happier with or without me... im probably over simplifying it but I wouldnt be surprised if thats the same conclusion your bf came to too....

Aunty Nannie

Yep we have those huge blow ups too but because your time together is limited you need to resolve your issues so you can enjoy the time you get, its going to take time to get into a routine & ye will get there but ye need to talk, talk, talk & your relationship will be fine, if he dosent see you & you dont talk then whats the point?

amy85

Cmol wrote: »

Honestly, you sound so much like me reversed!! The morning he left we had had a row and he never said goodbye to me...
Im probably the worst person to be posting on this!! Basically the way I see it is he just needs to figure out if he's happier with or without me... im probably over simplifying it but I wouldnt be surprised if thats the same conclusion your bf came to too....

i no he loves me dearly,hes so good to me. thats why i feel so bad. i know hes goin through hard time at moment cause hes so fed up and wants everything back to normal.. im scared now tho cause i said i wanted a break and now he wont really talk to me cause ive hurt him... and dont no if its too late to patch things up.. i know no one can give me an answer to this so thanks for all the replys. means alot.

amy85

Aunty Nannie wrote: »

Yep we have those huge blow ups too but because your time together is limited you need to resolve your issues so you can enjoy the time you get, its going to take time to get into a routine & ye will get there but ye need to talk, talk, talk & your relationship will be fine, if he dosent see you & you dont talk then whats the point?

thanks aunty nannie. i no everything your saying is true. thats why it hurts so much.cause lately everytime we have met up its ended in a row and thats another time ruined and then its ages again before we see each other

Cmol

Its such a difficult thing to go through, but at the end of the day, I totally understand and respect why he has had to do this for himself, and you for yourself. You cant give 110% to a relationship if your not 110% there in your head
After he left I told him I needed a week of no contact to sort myself out to.... it really really helps to have a few days of no contact.... When you say he wont talk to you, do you mean he wont pick up the phone if you call?

Aunty Nannie

i totally know what your going through, i've driven all the way to my guys house, had a blazin row, got in my car, pulled in & sent abusive txt & sobbed all way home & sat miserable sipping vino when we could have talked it through & sorted things out, this normally happens if things have been building up inside & we dont talk! just reassure your guy you love him & you are having a tough time adjusting to the changes, you know he understands so just be honest with him! Hang in there

steve927

Life is too short for this. I'm not being smart or insensitive but If you really love each other then i suggest that one of you leaves your current job and moves to be with the other. Jobs come and go but true love doesn't always come around twice. I know it sounds drastic but please think about it with an open mind. I'm being genuine. Good luck, hope everything works out for you;)

blorg

good point steve- but which one....

steve927

Well i suppose which ever one of you could do it with the least disruption overall. I think you guys should sit down and discuss it seriously, wouldn't it be great to be together again full time. I really feel for you but i think you should say "**** it" and do whatever you can. I wouldn't let a job come between me and my gf coz i could lose my job tomorrow, place could close down, go bankrupt whatever and then where would i be? I'd have lost the love of my life for nothing. Think long term!!

amy85

steve927 wrote: »

Well i suppose which ever one of you could do it with the least disruption overall. I think you guys should sit down and discuss it seriously, wouldn't it be great to be together again full time. I really feel for you but i think you should say "**** it" and do whatever you can. I wouldn't let a job come between me and my gf coz i could lose my job tomorrow, place could close down, go bankrupt whatever and then where would i be? I'd have lost the love of my life for nothing. Think long term!!

see he is trying to get job back where i am cuse thats where his house is and all his friends.. its just s hard cause there is not alot goin at moment... i dunno.ive havent heard from him since yday so dont no if its too late to put things right now... cause now he knows that i have doubts bout our relationship he aint gonna wanna have me back i guess..i dunno. thanks for the advice tho.. its really hepling

LegacyUser

why doesnt he leave his.. if the relationship is worth it he will...ask urself what wud u do

amy85

he is tryin his best.. hes had a few interviews but hes finding it hard,as there is not alot of jobs goin at moment

LegacyUser

but like i said is he willing to let his relationship fade.. surely his relationship should come first and if been away is causing ye to fall apart thhen move back and look for for a job while been with u