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I'm an eejit!

  • 17-04-2008 5:47pm
    #1
    bankrobber1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭


    Hi everyone
    Right my problem is.........

    I’m a 22 yo and I'm a big fella (yes fat) but that’s not my major problem,
    The thing is im working in a large workplace and to all intensive purposes
    Im happy, I’m also (well I think) very well liked, I get on with everybody nearly without exception, which is a feat considering there are 200 of us.

    To most people, I'm very out-going except for one area ...My love life.
    I lack the confidence and indeed know-how to get really close to women.
    There are two women I really relate to and they seem to always seek me out when imp at work(they work in different departments) but my problem is , Do they just see me as a brother or something else. I don’t know what to think and if I ask them, the position that I'm in I will leave myself open to an awful lot of slagging which I cant react to because imp seen as a jack the lad I’ll be crucified, even though imp not really I like different things then going out and getting sloshed.Oh and ok I sound like a complete gombeen "I'm not like that" sorry.


Comments

  • #2
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,555 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    bankrobber1 wrote: »
    Hi everyone
    Right my problem is.........

    I’m a 22 yo and I'm a big fella (yes fat) but that’s not my major problem,
    The thing is im working in a large workplace and to all intensive purposes
    Im happy, I’m also (well I think) very well liked, I get on with everybody nearly without exception, which is a feat considering there are 200 of us.

    To most people, I'm very out-going except for one area ...My love life.
    I lack the confidence and indeed know-how to get really close to women.
    There are two women I really relate to and they seem to always seek me out when imp at work(they work in different departments) but my problem is , Do they just see me as a brother or something else. I don’t know what to think and if I ask them, the position that I'm in I will leave myself open to an awful lot of slagging which I cant react to because imp seen as a jack the lad I’ll be crucified, even though imp not really I like different things then going out and getting sloshed.Oh and ok I sound like a complete gombeen "I'm not like that" sorry.

    Are the girls very into their looks? As in.. are they the type of girls that would spend a half hour in the morning putting on their faces?

    If so, id imagine they would be more interested in looks.. Thats a bit of a broad assumption but its a difficult question to answer sensitively.


  • #3
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    This is easier to deal with than you think, especially with the fact that you are already a popular lad in your workplace. go up to one of these girls you like, have absolutely no fear, and say something like "I really need to do something outside the house tonight, wanna go to the cinema/pub/show?" If it's something like a show or night out, you've already eliminated everyone else's presence in the company (if their presence is what hinders you) and depending on the effort made by the girl, you can gauge if she's interested or not.

    By all means, crack jokes, be you, DON'T think of it as a date because that's what your struggling with. think of it as a night out with your friend. Confidence is your friend here and use every trick in the book that makes YOU feel confident. wear a suit, eat something solid, maybe a stiff drink before you go out, whatever boosts your confidence and then aim for a good night out.

    Lads won't take the piss out of ya over the fact ya asked a girl out, in general lads want the gorey details, they want to know how far you got, if they are mates, they'll support ya as much as possible!

    Best of luck mate, i know ya have the ability to pull this off, advice i can give, but ultimately it's all you


  • #4
    Awayindahils
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭Awayindahils


    If you're going into a relationship/looking for a relationship it will not work if you are dogged by body issues. You have two options. You can accept you for who you are, and love that, or you can decide that you want to change something and then learn to love the changed version. Either way respecting and believing in your assets and attributes is essential when you are looking for love. I was talking to a couple of my friends about this is in the last few days and the general consensus was that for women looks are not as important, or rather what Hollywood says is the perfect body just isn't. Personality, intelligence, humor and shared interests form a huge part of attraction.

    Self- confidence is essential if you want to approach these women. You have decide that you're good enough, believe it and (to sound so americanised) own it.


  • #5
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    snyper wrote: »
    Are the girls very into their looks? As in.. are they the type of girls that would spend a half hour in the morning putting on their faces?

    If so, id imagine they would be more interested in looks.. Thats a bit of a broad assumption but its a difficult question to answer sensitively.

    yeah thats a mighty big assumption matey. i spend 30 mins each morning but i've had bfs that had alot of inner beauty if you know what im saying.

    The most important thing op is that you can have a laugh with a girl and listen to her. Also nice clothes/hair and general maintance do wonders if your not exactly brad pitt. you'd be surprised by the amount of girls who fancy a guy with a bit of meat on him.


  • #6
    LurkingLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34 ✭LurkingLady


    spinandscribble wrote: »
    you'd be surprised by the amount of girls who fancy a guy with a bit of meat on him.


    +1
    See OP, we girls like to have someone big and strong, but at the same time somewhat soft, by our side. It's the whole "teddy bear" thing, ya know :D

    Anyway, good luck :)


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  • #7
    _blank_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    spinandscribble wrote: »
    you'd be surprised by the amount of girls who fancy a guy with a bit of meat on him.
    Indeed.

    Look at the amount of females who post here

    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=908


  • #8
    bankrobber1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭bankrobber1


    I'll bear all your suggestions in mind, It think a few of you have confirmed
    things for me , Especially bout the my perception of myself rather than someone else's. Cheers for your help.


  • #9
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,550 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    spinandscribble wrote: »
    yeah thats a mighty big assumption matey. i spend 30 mins each morning but i've had bfs that had alot of inner beauty if you know what im saying.

    30 mins for a woman to put on her face really isn't that much!

    To be honest OP, I think you have it backwards. If you're seen as a jack the lad type, you're not going to leave yourself open to slagging; being shot down and recovering well is expected, nay required of you.

    Take a punt, and if you fail, you're young enough so you'll probably live.


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