Getting something done...

LegacyUser

So I'm a girl of 20 and I'm still a virgin as I've always had problems trying to have sex.

Its impossible.

Nothing goes in, not even a finger.

My doctor is sending me to a gynecologist (sp?) and I am supposed to be having some procedure done like a small operation to loosen me I guess

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience of this?

Thanks.

JuliusCaesar

google vaginismus. While it used to be treated with dilatators to gradually open up the vagina, it's generally regarded as a psychological condition in which the muscles involuntarily tighten up. Sex therapy can be undertaken either alone or with your partner if you have one. Make sure your therapist is reputable!

AckwelFoley

Yea.. its all about trying to relax, but sometime the mind is unable to do this.

I dont have a vagina myself, but sex, particularly for the first time can be a nervy thing

LegacyUser

OP i was in a similar situation. i cant say ive had total success yet but ill tell you what has happened.

When i started with my bf he was the first boy to go anywhere near me. at first even his smallest finger hurt. gradually i relaxed bit by bit and we got up to bigger fingers. now i can take 2 fingers, though it is still slightly uncomfortable. We are trying to have sex, still havent, but each time we try i think we get a little further in.

Can i ask how long you have been trying?

I spoke to the doctor about this because my bf was convinced there was something wrong with me because sex hurt so much, but she said its normal. I understand that not being able to take 1 finger wouldnt be considered normal, but i also think its worth the effort rather than having an operation.

im 24 by the way. & definitely sick of being a virgin. i understand how you must be feeling. & although the progress ive had is slow there has definitely been some & id much prefer to do it this way than have an operation.

Good luck with it

mahamageehad

this is probo going to be a bit person etc but does this only hapen when you try to hav sex??! Eg. Can you use tampons??

If it is then its probably a mental thing like suggested above.
If you're always that way, maybe you should try playing around with yourself so you dont feel under pressure to "perform" for anyone!! Exploring ones own body is the key to great sex anyway.

LegacyUser

Not even tampons and I've been trying for about 4 years?


Anyway I was just wondering if anyone knows anything about the procedure I was talking about as I am getting and done and would like to know if it works

pookie82

It may not be just that you're "tight" or too nervous. Did your GP examine you before he/she referred you? Usually a procedure like the one you describe wouldn't be carried out if it's just a case of nerves.

Some girls are born with an impenetrable hymen. Instead of it being a ring of skin around your entrance it's a tough membrane that doesn't allow penetration of any sort. It can still exist even if you've had normal periods as sometimes it has tiny holes in it (to allow the blood to flow through) but would prevent anything going in. Did your doc talk to you about this?

Either way, whatever is wrong sounds like the doctors consider it fix-able. So try not to be nervous and you'll probably be under anaesthetic for whatever they'll do to you anyway. Good luck and don't worry.