Love vs "in love"

Fiona24

Hi All,

Just wondering what ye think the difference between loving a man and being in love with a man is? My head is very confused on whether im in love with my boyfriend or now. He says he loves me to bits and that he's mad about me but what does that mean, does it mean love as in a friendly way or love in general? Ive asked him all this and he just got thick over it!!

Thanks

Greggles

I think Love to always said without many people knowing what it actually means or alot of people say they love someone and might think they do but don't really, when you love someone is can be a friend, family etc., but when you're "in" love with a partner you'd do absolutely anything for them

togster

OP there is no clear cut definition of what that means. It varies from peron to person. For me i just know when i am in love.

humanji

Fiona24 wrote: »

He says he loves me to bits and that he's mad about me but what does that mean, does it mean love as in a friendly way or love in general?

I'm sorry, but I don't see why you're confused. Would you tell your friend that you love them to bits and are mad about them?

Fiona24 wrote: »

Ive asked him all this and he just got thick over it!!

I'm not surprised. He said a nice thing and you want to analyse it instead of taking it for what it means. You need to relax.

all the stars

I love my dad. Im in love with my man... its easy really..

Fiona24

Im definitly not analyasing it, im very relaxed about him and the relationship. I was just asking a question in general. I think the whole topic of love is just an interesting one as like one person said it means different things to different people. He's more confused about it than me as he's never loved a girl before and i reckon he's probably half afriad to in a way because its such an intense but good feeling

Wibbs

Maybe a clumsy definition, but Love = warm feelings of care and connection with someone. In Love = the above plus you want to shag them and see a future as a couple together.

Certainly when any ex said to me "I love you but I'm not in love with you", it meant the shagging was over.

This also varies with time in a relationship and can come and go, especially the in love bit. The love bit in the background should be consistent though. What should also be consistent is some thought of the future. In the heady early romantic days, the future is a ways off. When the honeymoon period cools then the future comes more to the fore. That's when a large proportion of relationships go tits up, basically because for whatever reason a shared future starts to look less likely.