Only attracted to older women...

LegacyUser

Hey

Is this normal? Well, probably not, but...is it..unhealthy? I'm 24, but I don't seem to have much interest in woman around my own age. They just do nothing for me. I don't know.. I just feel like most women of around my age are in a place in life that I'm not, and are too insecure, and too much like teenagers.

I think I'm exclusive attracted to woman over around 40-ish. Well, maybe 30's, but only if they don't look like the are in their 20's (as lots of 30 somethings do). Even then, I'm only attracted to women who are physically fit. I'm not a shallow person though.

I don't know what to do... I imagine most of the women I'm attracted to would be married, or wouldn't be interested in someone like me.

I don't know what to do, because I'm quite a lonely person, and I'm worried that I'll be lonely forever.

Liam Byrne

At first glance, it just means that the shallowness, games and drunken-ness of the 20-something scene isn't your thing.

But, while there is truth in that description, it's also a stereotype that not everyone fits, so I wouldn't rule it out.

Self-confidence is sexy; insecurity, falseness and/or arrogance aren't. So it's amazing when you find people who hit the reasonable middle ground. That's amazing to find.

Re imagining that they'd be married, you've got the same equation; some women who aren't married or in settled relationships by, say, 35 (and I don't mean to be patronising, because even some of my gorgeous and fun female friends can go through this) can start wondering why they're single and start panicking.

So if you've picked up on this, then I'd view it as perfectly natural; of course, from your post and not knowing you, I can't say for definite, but it could be as simple as this.

seahorse

Unrej-000 wrote: »

I don't know what to do... I imagine most of the women I'm attracted to would be married, or wouldn't be interested in someone like me.

Wouldn't be interested??? Jaysus, you can forget that idea - they'd far more likely tear the clothes off you if they knew what you were thinking! And I'm not joking.

I'm 32 and met an incredibly sexy 24 year old last year. He was georgeous and made his interest in me very apparent, but alas I am in a long term relationship with a man I love and wouldn't dream of subjecting to the hurt of infidelity, so that was a nonstarter, but I can tell you if I'd been single I'd have been all over him like a rash, and the amount of women ten years my senior who'd have reacted just like that are in no way lacking in this world.

I know a bloke who used to be a window cleaner several years back in his early twenties. He concentrated on a couple of particular housing estates in Dublin, I wont say where, lol, but you can trust me when I say he shagged his way through half his 40ish female customers.

A LOT of women who are 15/20 years older than you will be much more attracted, flattered and genuinely turned on by your attentions than you know. There is no need for you to be lonely, and there's no need for you to feel weird about the type of woman you're attracted to either. Women of all ages have their own brand of appeal and as for 'normal' and 'healthy', your feelings are exactly that.

People often confuse the terms 'normal' and 'usual'. Yes it's more usual for a man your age to be running around after women in and around your own age, but that does not make it more normal, just more commonplace.

Honestly, you've no idea how many 40ish woman are out there who'd be delighted to meet you. And don't worry about them all being married either; a lot of people around the age group you're interested in are coming out of long term relationships, putting failed marriages behind them etc. Why not try a dating site and specify your preference so that you can cut out the internal questioning as to whether or not an older woman you meet would be interested in you? I'd say you'd be damn surprised at the amount of responses you'd get, lol.

Again, there is no reason in the world for you to be lonely; and please remember that confidence is the biggest turn-on of all.

Have fun finding your older woman; I wont say 'good luck' because I don't think you'll be needing it.

justsomebloke

I have to say if I was single I wouldn't mind trying the whole cougar thing myself. I was in a a pub a few months back and got talking to a seriously good looking woman in early 40's and if it wasn't for the fact that I have something better at home I would of tried to hit it.

Beruthiel

seahorse wrote: »

but I can tell you if I'd been single I'd have been all over him like a rash, and the amount of women ten years my senior who'd have reacted just like that are in no way lacking in this world.

seahorse is not at all wrong there

Unrej-000, give the older women a go and see what happens!

Playboy

There is a perfect Website for you .. its called Toyboy Warehouse I think. Kind of a social networking site where older women can meet younger men!! Sounds fun

Curvy Vixen

Are you free this weekend :eek:

justsomebloke

Playboy wrote: »

There is a perfect Website for you .. its called Toyboy Warehouse I think. Kind of a social networking site where older women can meet younger men!! Sounds fun

if you try google "cougar dating" chances are you will find I good deal more as well

Curvy Vixen

Salad Boy wrote: »

I was in a a pub a few months back and got talking to a seriously good looking woman in early 40's and if it wasn't for the fact that I have something better at home I would of tried to hit it.

Who says romance is dead

Beruthiel

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

Are you free this weekend :eek:

Read this forums charter before you get yourself banned.
B

Riesen_Meal

I did it when I was 20, im 27 now, I just had to get it out of my system and sh*g an older woman, ended up shaggin another not long after aswell!

Twas great fun, id do it again if the price was right!



Seriously though OP, if older chicks are what your into, go for it!

niceirishfella

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

Are you free this weekend :eek:

Geeez OP, there's an offer!

Curvy Vixen

Beruthiel wrote: »

Read this forums charter before you get yourself banned.
B

Sorry, I was only joking .....now I'll elaborate from the other side of the coin....

I'm 40 OP and would be thrilled if a 'sensible' (by that I mean 'not out of his face drunk') 24 year old was interested in me. As a 40 year old I suppose it shows that you're not beyond 'interesting' someone and fading into the greying background that seems to happen when you get older.

And I'm all for the 'If it feels good and no-one is getting hurt, then do it' philosophy. What is the norm nowadays anyway?? I don't think that there is one to be honest. You see all sorts of people happy with people that wouldn't be considered 'the norm' ~ I'm sure we've all seen a couple and thought that haven't we?

I have a large group of female friends that are single for various reasons and would be late 30's or early 40's dying to meet a nice guy so don't let the 'they could be married' thing put you off...maybe they're not....

Dudess

I know exactly what you mean, OP. I have always been far more interested in older guys. I never had a boyfriend in my teens as I had no interest in the guys my own age - found them much too immature. All that teenage dating stuff held zero appeal for me and it kinda annoys me the way it's considered such an essential rite of passage, or that somehow everyone's up for it. Not me. I wanted to be with a man, not a boy, but I wasn't gonna be some bit of jailbait who made a grab for some guy twice my age either. I chose to wait until I was an adult myself before seeking out the older dudes.

I was 18 and in college when I first started going out with someone. He was actually my age and I thought he was lovely but it fizzled out as I wasn't that attracted to him. Then at 19, I fell hook, line and sinker for a guy who was 10 years older than I was and I had a great thing with him... until I found out he was married. But it was such a turn-on for me going out with a guy who was so much older. I've had flings with three much older guys since - one 14 years older, one 18 years older and one 19 years older! No complaints whatsoever. They were all HAWT!!!

I'm with a guy now who's 12 years older then I am (I'm nearly 30). Huzzah for the more mature man/woman! Plus I've always been interested in stuff from before my time and I can remember popular culture from when I was extremely young (for example, I remember songs that were out in 1981 when I was three :eek:). Stuff like this appeals greatly to the guys I've gone out with.

Wagon

It's not shallowness at all, your reasons for being attracted to them are completely justifiable. Wouldn't worry about it to be honest.

Marksie

Dudess wrote: »

Stuff like this appeals greatly to the guys I've gone out with.

That is probably the factor which separates dating/ sleeping with from a relationship Dudess.
The fact that the both of you can relate on different levels rather than just the physical.
Which is something to consider OP if you are looking for more than a purely sexual relationship. How one relates outside of the sexually intimate situations will be a big determening factor in how the relationship progresses

togster

OP im same age as you and i broke up with my ex about 5 months ago. Since then i have been focusing on over 25 y o clubs here in Sweden. The amount of beautiful 30-40 women is unbelievable. Most are confident and out-going. There is no bullsh!t. They love confidence. Go for it OP. Who's to say whats normal anyway!

LegacyUser

wow thanks for all the feedback so far guys. I sort of thought most women around the 40 mark would be dismissive of guys my age... because of the fact that a lot of people my age are immature (i think it's true that the 20's are the new teens, and so on).

Something stood out for me:

Curvy Vixen wrote:

I'm 40 OP and would be thrilled if a 'sensible' (by that I mean 'not out of his face drunk') 24 year old was interested in me. As a 40 year old I suppose it shows that you're not beyond 'interesting' someone and fading into the greying background that seems to happen when you get older.

And I'm all for the 'If it feels good and no-one is getting hurt, then do it' philosophy. What is the norm nowadays anyway?? I don't think that there is one to be honest. You see all sorts of people happy with people that wouldn't be considered 'the norm' ~ I'm sure we've all seen a couple and thought that haven't we?

I have a large group of female friends that are single for various reasons and would be late 30's or early 40's dying to meet a nice guy so don't let the 'they could be married' thing put you off...maybe they're not....

See, I don't drink..and i was starting to think perhaps that's what my problem was! I know lots of people my age drink heavily, and I'd imagine that older women would not.

Also, I just don't find people who look like they've just had their umbilical cord cut to be that interesting. Like a musician or a songwriter... there are lots of artists my age, but I find myself not interested in what they have to say, because having grown up around the same era, I feel like I already know.

To go back to what Curvy Vixen said -- "As a 40 year old I suppose it shows that you're not beyond 'interesting' someone and fading into the greying background that seems to happen when you get older."

Well, maybe it's just a case of both sides just not thinking the other would be interested. Quite a shame really.

Dudess wrote:

I know exactly what you mean, OP. I have always been far more interested in older guys. I never had a boyfriend in my teens as I had no interest in the guys my own age - found them much too immature. All that teenage dating stuff held zero appeal for me and it kinda annoys me the way it's considered such an essential rite of passage, or that somehow everyone's up for it. Not me. I wanted to be with a man, not a boy, but I wasn't gonna be some bit of jailbait who made a grab for some guy twice my age either. I chose to wait until I was an adult myself before seeking out the older dudes.

Exactly! That's pretty much how I feel. I'm interested in women, not girls. I feel a lot of -30 (approx) women are still extremely...'fake', or insecure..or something. Probably more like what you said about the whole 'rite of passage' thing. (BTW i hope I'm not insulting any younger girls who are reading this - I certainly treat everyone fairly and respect everybody, regardless of how old they are. I'm only talking about a very specific thing here).

Liam Byrne

I've just re-read my post and it's not particularly clear.

What I was getting at is that the OP might find a number of 20-something traits annoying - arrogance, attitude, immaturity, fakeness, shallowness, "let's go out TO get pissed", etc.

Those traits aren't present in every, nor unique to, 20-something, but they're fairly prevalent in that age-group.

True sophistication and self-confidence definitely adds to the appeal for me, so maybe that's all there is.

As for the "oh **** I'm 40" comment, what I was getting at there is pointing out to the OP that the self-confidence might NOT always be there in the older women (even fairly well-balanced people go through it on occasion), so I was trying to give him a benchmark to judge if it were purely the age, or whether it was the self-confidence, that attracted him.

I've a suspicion that it's not so much the age, but a combination of the person and the self-confidence that appeals, but I could be wrong. If someone who's 40 and not confident is still appealing, that would answer that.....in fact, some guys probably play on that in order to score - "God I'm lucky to have a 20-something still interested, so I'll run with it", but that's only the basis for a one-night-stand or a short-term thing, because that insecurity is a dire foundation for anything worthwhile.

Hope that's clearer, coz my original post even confused me when I read it again.....sorry!

Curvy Vixen

Unrej-000 wrote: »

wow thanks for all the feedback so far guys. I sort of thought most women around the 40 mark would be dismissive of guys my age... because of the fact that a lot of people my age are immature (i think it's true that the 20's are the new teens, and so on).

Believe me OP, immaturity is a state of mind and I have never found it to be commensurate with the amount of years that someone has been alive and if someone is judging you by your age then they're not really worth dealing with anyway IMO. It'd be no different to them having pre-conceived idea's about you because of your colour/size/etc.

Next time you see a lady you like the look of, go and chat to her! I know it's nerve wracking but give it a shot. What's the worse that can happen ?

LegacyUser

Ok, there was an opportunity on Saturday to go out and meet up with some people, and I knew there would be some women there (who I've met before and one of whom I quite like, and is divorced, really beautiful and very physically fit..), but I chickened out of going. I don't know...i just have an issue with myself... i think i might just look stupid or something or be seen as a silly young fella. I wouldn't know what to say about divorces, or kids (who could be teens). See I met this woman before, and I was with other people, and one other guy (who thought she was hot also) told her she was looking particularly fine that evening, and she said how it was a big compliment coming from someone 'so young'. She was quite surprised.

Anyway, I stood there at home on Saturday with my jacket on for 10 minutes, with my train fare in my hand, ready to go..but like i said, i just chickened out. I was staring sourly at myself in the hall mirror (just like a film or something wha wha?)

I'm just lost..and still lonely.

Curvy Vixen

Well unrej-100 you're the only one who can deal with this at the moment.

What about looking up some course on self confidence or something? Are you lacking confidence in other area's of your life?

And as for chatting about teens or divorces :eek:. I don't have either but even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't want to talk about them on a night out!! What do you think you would talk to a 25 year old woman about? And what makes you think that a 40 year old wouldn't want to talk about the same thing?

Maybe you're just not ready for a relationship at all OP? Either way, you seem to be putting great store on this. You need to just go out with a view to having a good night out rather than getting a woman. That seems to be the stumbling block for you...